Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’ve just been diagnosed with ASD and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. Is this usual? It’s been nine years since I first presented for assessment - at that time I was thought to have complex trauma and ended up taking part in two years of group psychotherapy. I started the assessment process again 18 months ago as I was struggling with so much.. Following the assessment I was initially told I only partially met the criteria however, there were issues in the diagnostic process and a second opinion from within my mental health team suggested that I might have ASD after all. I have finally been diagnosed and I don’t know what to feel, I’m even wondering whether it could be wrong given my earlier experiences. I’ve also had to take some time off work because I feel so exhausted but feel very guilty about it. Any tips on getting through these first few weeks? Thank you
Jo said:I don’t know what to feel,
You don't need to feel anything about it if you don't want to - in fact autistic people often have problems in connecting to their emotions and expressing them, so don't worry about it.
It is what it is - you know now and everything that has gone before cannot be changed.
Look back on it, reflect on what happened that was probably due to autism and consider what should change in the future - these are the areas to focus your energies on.
Learn all you can about autism and ways to make your life more comfortable, how to be productive and how to enjoy being yourself now you know more about the things that make up your thought processing.
Don't get hung up on what you should or shouldn't be doing - take your time to decide what is best for you and "take control of your own power" as my therapist would say.
Spend some time on the forums here and chat away - you will learn a lot from our shared experiences and solutions too.
Welcome to the club.
I think I understand what you may be feeling. Age 66, I too am recently diagnosed, and also with some traumatic life events, that meant I have had years of psychotherapy and medication and lengthy periods off work. This made me feel guilty and a fraud, like you.
After a discussion with a friend, and some research, a few months ago, while in consultation with my GP about my mental health, I tentatively suggested that I might be autistic. She agreed and requested a formal diagnosis. The mental health team are treating me as if I had a formal diagnosis.
I have spent a lot of time recently reviewing my life. I find definite pointers to autism, but also many incidents that cause NTs as well as NDs significant trauma. I sometimes think that being ND and masking as second nature, led to me "coping" better with trauma better than some NTs.
Having a late diagnosis means that we have a lot of life experiences "interfering" with classic autistic traits.
Firstly, try not to feel guilty. You need a break from outside stresses. Try to eat healthily, take some exercise and get plenty of sleep. Do something you enjoy every day. I consider getting better from exhaustion and stress is work in itself and you have a lot to absorb for which you need time.
Then you might try what I have done but not if it is too stressful. Very roughly, in note form, I have roughed out key life events annotated with what I remember people saying or telling me about them, or what I remember. if they appear to have a bearing on being autistic. I have skipped the significantly traumatic events. Many of the difficulties I have had now make sense. This has helped me to come to terms with my diagnosis, and differentiate between autism and trauma.
Hi Jo,
Even when the penny definitely slips into the slot (ie when you finally realise/accept beyond all reasonable doubt that ASD does underpin your reality).... it is still a discombobulating mess in your head for a good long while whilst you process your past history and feelings through the new lens.
Don't hurry yourself, don't worry about your brain processor speed at the moment. Relax and be calm (if you can.) It does get easier and clearer for most, based on my understanding of what members of our tribe have written here since Ice been around.
Welcome. I hope you like it here.
Number.
Be kind to yourself.
It's definitely a huge deal. Autism has had a massive impact on 55 years of your life so it's natural to feel a bit blown away that your perception of yourself and your life has changed.
If you feel like time off work is what you need to recover a bit, go for it. Your brain needs your understanding and care more right now than ever.