Hello

Hi Angela, I had the same route of self identifying about 18 months ago, I always knew I was different and have had mental health problems since I was a child, just never knew why?

I’ve been married for 32 years, yes autistic people do get married, I have two boys, both adults now.

Autism hit me like a hammer, I struggled with all the why’s and wherefores, I thought I was of reasonable intelligence but I missed this for 54 years? Don’t try to process it all too quickly, it’s too much to comprehend. It has changed my life but only for the better. If you want want to ask any questions, there are a lot of nice people here. I’m still trying to  process my life, I started with my childhood and how different I was. It’s like putting a jigsaw together that you have always had but never knew how it fitted together.

Good luck, if you have any questions about the route to diagnosis, please ask. Many are happy to self diagnose.

I was diagnosed as a kid; over thirty years ago. The early bird got the worm, but the second mouse got the cheese.

Thats ok, glad to hear the forum is helping :-) 

Hi BillyC87

Thanks for replying giving good advice.

Although I am just new to the forum I am already finding it a comfort talking to other people like me.

Thanks

Angela 

Hi Number

Just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I really appreciate it.

I find your positivity encouraging and it has given me some hope.

Great advice which I will bare in mind.

Thanks 

Angela 

Hi Angela welcome to the community. I'm sorry you're feeling this way but want you to know it's completely normal to feel this way. There is no right or wrong way to feel right now. It's huge, so much to take in and it must be a bit crazy for you. Just know you are not alone and it will get better for you. I hope you'll find being here helpful for you, this community is the best resource out there. 

Hi Angela, welcome to the forum. i discovered I was autistic at 33 and, as RockChick said, I think theres a lot of us here that discovered our autism as adults. 
The good news is now you can slowly start to make sense of your whole life, things that puzzled you before about your past actions and feelings and the behaviour of those around you will start to fit together like a jigsaw and eventually your whole life will make sense. It is a long process though, dont expect it to happen overnight. 

Its like you are discovering yourself for the first time which is confusing and hard to understand but you will live a happier life for it in the long run.
The best advice I can give you is to stay talking to people on here, that really helped me. Also, that there is a lot of trial and error at the moment, try different routines and things to see what helps you and what doesnt. 

And read up on things as much as your brain is able, then you might find little tips and techniques that help

You are not alone 

Hi Angela, welcome to the forum 

I felt quite shell shocked for a few weeks after my autism realization but reading posts from other autistic people on here i found very comforting. The sense of belonging was very important too

You are definitely not alone, there are lots of understanding and supportive people here 

Hello Angela.

Do not despair.  If you have managed 25 years of marriage, are actively raising (guess) 2 kiddies and have launched the other (guess) 2 kiddies out into the world........what could be hard about accepting yourself as what you always have been?

OK - so that is a bad rhetorical joke!  It is unusually discombobulating to wrap your head around a diagnosis, whether self derived or imposed upon you.....or just as commonly, both of these.

If I may also be so bold as to suggest that you are also at that especially tricky age - 45 - and at a time when the path that you have been on starts to become less discrete and somewhat peters-out beneath your feet......what next (ie within circa 5 years in your case.)

You ask for advice above....so this is mine to you.

THE DO's

Be careful !  Stay calm.  Stay sane.  Research like the autistic demon that you now know you are.  Stay on these pages, read, watch and participate.  Do gently try experimenting with your own mindfulness and behaviours to see if you can fathom some simple changes to make your life and well-being improve.

THE DON'Ts

Don't go all dramatic about everything.  Don't go expecting some form of radical change just because you now know you are autistic.  Don't expect people to care about this as deeply as you do.  Certainly don't expect any support from the government or health services - there isn't any.  Don't conflate the many, many things that influence a 45 year old in your position with your new knowledge.  Don't despair.  Don't go insane.

I hope that this short post may prove to be of some use to you.  I hope you stick around.

Kind regards

Number

Hiya, welcome to the forum. I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago at the age of 36. There are a lot of us here k believe diagnosed as adults - I can't offer advice on coming to terms with it but wanted to let you know you aren't alone