Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
My name is Angela. I am 45 and have been married for 25 years with 4 children aged between 13 and 24. Just recently diagnosed myself as having autism and really struggling to come to terms with it and how it impacts my life. Although it does make sense of everything now I am finding it difficult to accept myself and see how I can live a happy and fulfilling life.
I would be extremely grateful for any advice from anyone please or just to know that there is someone else out there.
Hello Angela.
Do not despair. If you have managed 25 years of marriage, are actively raising (guess) 2 kiddies and have launched the other (guess) 2 kiddies out into the world........what could be hard about accepting yourself as what you always have been?
OK - so that is a bad rhetorical joke! It is unusually discombobulating to wrap your head around a diagnosis, whether self derived or imposed upon you.....or just as commonly, both of these.
If I may also be so bold as to suggest that you are also at that especially tricky age - 45 - and at a time when the path that you have been on starts to become less discrete and somewhat peters-out beneath your feet......what next (ie within circa 5 years in your case.)
You ask for advice above....so this is mine to you.
THE DO's
Be careful ! Stay calm. Stay sane. Research like the autistic demon that you now know you are. Stay on these pages, read, watch and participate. Do gently try experimenting with your own mindfulness and behaviours to see if you can fathom some simple changes to make your life and well-being improve.
THE DON'Ts
Don't go all dramatic about everything. Don't go expecting some form of radical change just because you now know you are autistic. Don't expect people to care about this as deeply as you do. Certainly don't expect any support from the government or health services - there isn't any. Don't conflate the many, many things that influence a 45 year old in your position with your new knowledge. Don't despair. Don't go insane.
I hope that this short post may prove to be of some use to you. I hope you stick around.
Kind regards
Number
Hi Number
Just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I really appreciate it.
I find your positivity encouraging and it has given me some hope.
Great advice which I will bare in mind.
Thanks
Angela