Possibly an imposter?

I enjoy reading your perspectives and opinions and I am pleased that you have decided to invest your time to communicate these things with the forum.

Unlike nas85657 I have very few tangible similarities to you and your described experience.....but on more intangible metrics, I feel we most certainly do.

Best regards

Number

I am digraphic and I most likely wrote wrong words in translation. I have ADHD. And major depression. I struggle a lot these days, really a lot. Forgive the mistakes but despite having other qualities I'm also wrong in my language and sometimes ADHD doesn't help me because I write too fast, and I think in images so I also have to translate from those into my language, and make myself understood in real time. I have sensory issues, which I try to control as much as I can.

Pleasure: Ian small premise: I am honored by being here with you. I hope to be up to the forum. I immediately received a pleasant feeling of this virtual place. So: medical errors in diagnosis of autism if well worked are very rare instead. I explain why. The diagnostic tests are oriented and cannot provide wrong results. They are specific. I don't know how things happen from you, maybe something is missing for diagnostics for adults, but in certain realities I see us too. In my region does not happen this. I explain about my diagnosis because it is the subject of scientific research, and those who have signed it work strictly with San Diego (USA) and many other US cities, and in other states of the world. He has been published all his team. of a short, long evaluation (I was sincerely exhausted) lasted 8 months. Insciiatra first visit, two hours. He has publications on natures and other accredited magazines. I thought he sent me away after minutes. I will have as HFA (Asperger has been a sub -category since 2013). His colets have several hundred publications. but to turn to the right specialized team that I suffered anxiety diagnoses. Of course, the diagnosis, but, were right, however, I was repeated 8 years to find out of the doctors formed, because you see, we are not so easy to frame from doctors not formed in this. It is not the diagnosis that is wrong, but they are the wrong people to whom the system directs us with default. At the time in Italy the psychiatry works well. If you do not have very serious compromises (low operation for example) to centers that are called by us for pervasive development disorders. A important thing: my psychiatrist who is a primary of two structures in the entire province works with other managers. erroneously that autism is only the low -functioning one. But it is its now updated formation that erods it. Basso and in the previous DSM we did not appear at all. The training in medicine from us includes over 10 years and 6 years of specialization and practice in the hospital. which also require 10 hours of study Gironaliero.Certo after the very important Lorna Wing resumed the witness from Hans Asperger should have been decidedly better at the orgarniization level. Also account for something about us in Italy. From the end of two centuries ago. Finus to 1980. In that year we implemented 5 all together. Three from 1952 onwards, and two appendices. So this was an impediment to saying the courses of study and has led to several training errors, also because in the DSM pre 1994 we did not appear at all. There were immense errors in medical nosography. First studies date back to 1916, then at 1926 the Russian neurologist Ewa Ssucharewane wrote in Italy in March 21, 2017.In a specific thread. It then went between the end of the world war between Hans Asperger 1944 and Leo Kanner 1943. was a great emptiness in the world research panorama. Now this no longer exists, however, doctors have specific tools even neuroimaging, blood tests, really many tests on unconventional batteries (they are not the same tests of psychiatric medicine usually in vogue). very large searches published, and great experts such as Anthony Attwood, and give the operations lines to their homologous all over the world that can afford to diagnose (some nations are not virtuous va va said). Excuse me Ian: I understand your considerations. But not on the diagnostic theme. In that if well experienced there are no errors. Before having official public diagnoses, I always wrote that I had not diagnosed, but it was the other autistic to Writing me to find yourself in many of the things I wrote if not in all. They really helped me their considerations. To understand what potentially I was (autistic) and what to do in my possible, in some things you can't do a lot or nothing, in many Others, on the other hand, are with our times, I don't know your indignation and also your violated sensitivity, and the difficulties suffered. I understand it all right, don't think I wrote to contrast your thread indeed! Even huge chances.Ti I write that in my diagnosis I responded to many tests. I have not managed to respond in that of mind theory at all.

Like you, I suffered a wrong process, but it was the process that was wrong, not the doctors.

It is clear that the many years of non-scientific research and attention to the public have created a wrong diagnostic phase.

Diagnoses ranged only on comorbidities.
Not on our condition: that's something else.

I write to you that despite having suffered similar situations to yours, I don't blame the incompetence of the medical profession, but the total lack of specific guidelines until 1994.

Then after yes: there was a delay in the nosographic implementation.

Now the world in many states works very differently.

That's why I wrote to you that you have a valid and not wrong diagnosis.

The procedure and not the doctors before were wrong.

Sorry I'm not good at writing in English, sorry all infinitely for this.

Wonderful 

I had/have the same problem too, with form filling and trying to work out what the answer actually is.

I'd ask myself, how often do people ask me to be a bit quieter or speak up? People are quick enough to be critical of us Autists, so it's really an easier question than it first appears.

I do tests like that by doing all the easy questions first, then the more challenging ones. there were two on the NHS test that I was unhappy whether I'd answered correctly, but I scored high enough that it didn't really make any difference.

Since my score on the Asperger test site was within 2 points of the NHS test, I felt I had obtained a reliable indication overall.

Having this sort of complaint about the questions on the test is something that also resonates with me lmao, the pathological need for fairness and correctness than many of us share but NTs just think we're being arseholes about.

Bahaha oh yes! I don't think there's anyone I studied IT with who you'd want fixing your computer. I also didn't learn squat on that course. Hell I'm the only one that failed, and I actually know what I'm doing lol, failed on written work, memorising and repeating garbage was what I couldn't do.

Couldn't agree more. Based on personal observation experience and that of friends and relatives.

Mind you I've met plenty of I.T. engineers also who have confirmed my lack of faith in the C.V. / application letter method of hiring that seems to be so popular.

I have to disagree on trusting diagnoses.. it really depends where, and who. Clinical and medical error unfortunately actually has an incredibly high rate. Accuracy is not guaranteed at all, especially not these days.
As a former teacher, I am certain that the vast majority of those who gain a qualification, are not competent enough to work accurately in their field of study, and need two things to achieve this:
1. Extensive experience in the job. But some people are new to the job and doing it anyway (how else to get experience?)
2. Dedication to accuracy or high intelligence. A lot of people pass any kind of course but still aren't good problem-solvers, and go out into the world with a very rigid framework that's susceptible to error, and in fields that don't get feedback or evidence of their ability returning to them, this problem can be even more extensive.
As a technical problem solver, I think if I treated my customers computers they way most doctors treat medical analysis, they would be coming back 5x a week confused and pissed off and with the same problems they started with.
Some countries medical professionals are huge scammers, too, like Australia, where they fake vaccine reports for citizens just to get the medicare payout, and then patients are denied vaccines because they have too many on record lol. If that isn't low, I don't know what is (that literally happened to me, by two completely different doctors).
Hell, I have really bad arthititis that was being diagnosed as depression for 2 years!!! And some undiagnosed conditons that have me mostly paralysed, but instead of scans and proper diagnosis, the doctor (who doesn't even know what autism is), is offended by how different I am and wants me to get psychological help instead of assisting me with the physical injuries that it took huge efforts for me to find a way around to visit him for lol.
Some people got their medical license in a box of cereal, I'm afraid. This is why multiple diagnoss and second opinions is generally a good idea.

Your experience in life sounds just like mine, and you wrote this the way I probably would have if I hadn't got a diagnosis at a young age. The way you explain your compensations is the same way I'd explain things, too. I sympathise and resonate with everything you described there. Maybe stick around here for support - places like this are where we can really find a feeling of connection, even if it's with a different person every time lol :)
The Autism Reddit forum is the same for this. There are imposters for sure, they ruin all the support groups on Facebook lol, but you seem so similar to me I doubt you're wrong. For your reference, I have Aspergers and ADHD (and other less relevant things).

Hi: let's see if I understand.

Your fear is that of the exact diagnosis.

We call it imposter syndrome.

For now I write to you that:

a) You have a diagnosis and the people who determined it are prepared and have studied exactly to understand.

So be sure it's right.


b) You are not the first individual that I consider special, who has had a diagnosis at a late age.

There are various reasons and in any case you have been very good at adapting to neurotypicals.

I have professional diagnoses from both DSM 4à and DSM5°.

I am certain of my diagnosis because it is the result of scientific research.


Up until the first professional diagnosis, I didn't describe myself as autistic.

But many Aspergers also wrote me privately that I was like them.

Now I can say without any doubt that they were right.


*I re-entered the forum very late because I couldn't log in I had lost my password and the system didn't work to give me a different one.

I apologize very much to the people who have paid attention to me and replied.


Sorry I wrote about it here.


In any case: always to answer you I'm writing to a 74 year old who was diagnosed about 6 years ago!

He's American, and has a remarkable intelligence.

He too, like you, has adapted in his own way.

It's not simple at all.

You are special.

I have spent part of my life in understanding by myself, then having confirmations, and finally the first diagnosis.

I thought autistics had worse emblematic difficulties than mine.

But I say one thing: each person is an individual to himself.

I found that there was no difference in some things that maybe I will describe more carefully.

Have no doubts.

The diagnosis is right.

We are too honest not to think about it and have doubts about it.

But they are just fears.

Fears = we do not understand.

That's why we have this phase which, if anything, denotes a lot of intellectual honesty.

Sad reality of life; guilty, as charged. 

Hello Ian. That reads like my life experience, pre-diagnosis. Especially the bit about the family and animal relationships.

Actually, NO, all of it! 

As for retirement, simply replace work with "missions" or "projects", replace work colleagues with the people you meet along the road to getting your projects done, and it's practically the same, but YOU are the boss. 

Which is where it went wrong for me. It turns out I am lousy at ordering myself or other people to do stuff for me. 

We are all trained from birth to take direction, and follow someone else's plan, and we were not given the training in self discipline or leadership like previous generations were, so the first few years of retirement were really difficult for me as I tried to adjust. 

I've noticed that I'm not getting fitter, faster or stronger either, so that getting other people to do stuff, is a MAJOR useful trait as you get older. 

Also there's lots of change which forces us to break old habits and ways of thinking, and that can be quite a "Downer" especially as whilst previous generations would learn from the elders, current generations have been trained to prefer the T.V. set.. 

What a wonderfully worded post! This has been SO helpful for me. Thank you x

The longer that a person on the autistic spectrum is exposed to the neurotypical world unsupported, the longer we have to compensate, camouflage and mask our differences. 

Without a neurological timeline, it can be hard to draw a conclusion on whether a regression has caused autistic traits to develop, or whether one has had a neurological difference from birth. 

However it does not mean that you do not have autistic traits; you can complete and Autism Quotient Test (AQ), a Empathy Quotient Test (EQ), and a Systemising Quotient Test (SQ); online to figure out where you stand.  
I had an EQ of 28, an AQ of 32, and a slightly higher SQ (which I cannot remember); the result was that I was masterful at masking my decisively autistic behaviours, and it took until 28 to get a diagnosis.

As far as eye contact goes, I am passable at it, on examination a professional pointed out that, I break eye contact every time I reach ‘flow’ in my digressions. But as I have masked for so long, I have reached a level of faux-social competency, that my autistic traits are hard to detect. Also I tend to get along with well with the neurodivergent, in the old days a lot of these people would have been referred to a ‘remedial’ in education.

A lot of autistic individuals can have: pedantic speech, an all-or-nothing attitude, can be exploited a-lot, can take things literally, and learn better through exposure to our interests.
We can have a social impairment that makes social conversation very hard to navigate; small talk, jokes, laisse-faire instruction; we can have drastically less patience in situations were there are loud sensory influences.   
We can respond badly to change and to office politics. We can have a hard time in large groups. We can have alexithymia; a lack of ability to convey emotions we feel or see. We can buy the same items in bulk and wear the same clothing.

I’m trying to dump as much lore as possible, and this is all that come to mind at the moment, I hope this helps.

I had a diagnosis two weeks ago, and I have to say that I felt like an imposter too, it is hard to feel that you are neither-here-nor-there.
But the reality is that just because the neurological timeline was not complete for the screening, does not mean that you don’t have autistic traits.
All conditions are a compilation of symptoms, if you experience some of the difficulties I’ve/we’ve laid out, then you have a place here because we wrestle with these issues all the time.

Thanks!

Your post could be my post....literally WORD FOR WORD. I am 61 and retired 10 years ago. I had "dabbled" in animal welfare whilst working and decided that I would immerse myself in it totally, as I realised that as a very high functioning person, I needed to keep my brain working, solving problems and feeling that my life was worthwhile.

Now, I don't know how I had time to work! I deal with endless feral cats on farms, and only have to deal with people when the cats are booked in to be neutered which I can bear (although I've managed to Pee the staff off with my apparently rude manner...)

I know for a fact that some of the large animal charities, need people to sort the endless forms they have out an put them on the computer, and people to socialise frightened inmates There may even be a paid job doing it. Just a thought. I have just started telling people that I';m autistic, and most people have cut me a bit of slack which has been a revelation!

PLEASE don't be too despondent, there is a place for you out there!

Thanks. I've taken a look at the test, but I find these things difficult. Take a statement like: "Sometimes I talk too loudly or too softly, and I am not aware of it." How could I ever answer that with a "yes" since, if I'm not aware of it, I wouldn't know whether I do. Just one example from many of how I tend to overthink things perhaps. It does look better than some other tests I've seen because it at least allows for someone having adapted their behaviour in adulthood. But I find a lot of the questions quite impossible to answer, as I don't feel I can evaluate my own behaviour, and I want to answer "I don't know" or "it depends" and can't come down on one side or the other. Also, I just don't have a good recollection of my childhood at all and, any sort of normal interaction with my peers would have been impossible due to relentless bullying. I don't know what sort of social interactions I might have preferred or avoided since they were practically denied to me, and the trauma has obliterated so much. This is going to make diagnosis difficult for me as I simply don't know how to answer these questions, so I'm probably not going there again.

Thanks, yes. I suppose I could get reassessed, but things are very complicated. Autism provides one possible explanation for how I am, but there are other perfectly plausible explanations. People will have different views. In the end I'm not that bothered about the labels.

Yes, voluntary work is starting to happen. Will also need to find something that pays...

Thanks for engaging!

Thanks for that. A lot of good advice and well intentioned. Some of that is on the cards already. I have done some volunteering. More on the cards possibly. I'm going to try volunteering as an user in a local theatre. In some ways that isn't an obvious fit for me, but I think I'll cope OK with the sort of interactions I'll be faced with there, I hope. Dog walking is also something I'd considered - got as far as getting the application form for a charity. Also planning on getting back in the gym which might help give a bit of structure to some days.

I'm really not bothered about the diagnosis really. Things are extremely complicated and in the end I just am who I am, regardless of labels people might attach to me (or not).