Young adults with no friends

Hi Jasmine, my name is Jamie, in the last 2 years I was diagnosed with Aspergers. I have very few friends and don’t understand most people. I’m 37 and have struggled with relationships my whole life, I prefer to chat online to get started, finding people to connect with is a hard task. I struggle to think of things to talk about and I usually have an awkward silence….

I like gaming bc it helps me calm down and think of my day, analyse things. I like puzzles, sci fi movies.. I guess the more I know someone, the more they can know and be a real friend.

During my school days, I blended in, I thought it was normal to be the way I was bc I wasn’t diagnosed that time. I’ve just put up with the way I am, the only way I know how. 

I hope you can make some friends in here, I wish you all the best Jasmine

Yeh anxiety is common for autistic people, there’s an autistic girl at one of my groups and she always has panic attacks and just leaves without telling anyone. So you’re not the only one. Yeh meeting someone just comes by chance, I met someone a few weeks ago and liked her so went on a date then found out she wasn’t the one for me. So I’m back on the wagon again looking to meet someone haha. I like to go to football games, and I’m looking to join a football group where I can play with other guys and maybe make more friends in the new year. My favourite football team is Celtic FC. What about you? I like to cook spaghetti, chicken, mince pie, tuna pasta, soup and cheesy pasta. Can you bake cakes?

Hey, thanks for taking your time to reply. I wish my anxiety wasn’t so bad, I don’t think I could handle meeting new people in a group setting. I think it’s just because nearly every person I have tried to be friends with has ended up being nasty towards me. I do try with the people I work with but I’m always the person people talk to when there’s no one better to talk to. If that makes sense, they come to me when they need help but it’s never works both ways. They would never help me.

Im trying to forget about the idea of having a boyfriend. I was quite content with being single until recently. There was this one guy that I really liked and then I found out he wasn’t single. He was a few years older than me anyway, had graduated uni and was just too good for me! Then this other guy, he is super sweet and lovely but he got mixed up with a nasty friend. I overheard a conversation they were having about me and now the awkwardness between us is painful. So I think being single makes life a lot simpler.

 It’s cool that you like football, do you play football or watch (or both) I’m absolutely hopeless at sports! But enjoy watching it, do you have a favourite football club/team? You say you like cooking, what sort of food do you like to cook?

Hi Jasmine, you sound like a delightful human being with many strengths and amazing skills. I also play piano and find it a great comfort. I wish you all the good things you deserve. I found NLP a great help, particularly “rapport and mirroring” techniques. Best wishes. 

Your welcome. I didn't go to the Christmas party as people drink beforehand and ending up getting banned from the venue. Former colleagues tried to get me to attend. 

Used to drink alcohol. Now teatotal. I used to be on strong painkillers and said no alcohol. 

Went to a Christmas meal with the estuary ladies group which was ideal. Only had 2 courses, chocolate and a snowman. Absolutely bargain. Plus a raffle. You don't mind me being slightly older, messaging you?

I've started a thread of pen friend problems (again)

I took your advice and let it go. I thought to myself that I am not like them and if I say something it makes me like them. I did purposely ignore them (their usual gossip wasn’t in and they thought that I would be a good substitute) and I didn’t say goodbye either. They did upset me as they was arranging a leaving party and I didn’t get an invite. Even though I had always been there for them and I had been working with them for nearly two years. So yeah… I may have had a few drinks when I got home…. But I feel loads better now. Thanks for your advice 

Hi Jasmine, that sounds like you have a lot of interesting stuff going on. I am a 22 year old male and also single, I like football and I go with my friend who’s also autistic. I have been looking to meet more people also, I like going to different groups to meet people. Making friends just takes time, you need to have a connection with someone first. Sorry to hear you are still single, hopefully you find someone soon. I also enjoy cooking, don’t really bake much though.

I would let this go as don't want to make this worse. The other day someone shouted at me in the street. I'd just ignore them.

Once had a panic attack in the night. 

Hey, thanks for replying. I definitely think that school bullying has triggered PTSD for me. A couple of days ago at work a Christmas song being played triggered a panic attack because it reminded me of school.

it’s so lovely to talk to people who understand. I work with like 30 different people yet I feel so alone. Talking on here is helping loads.

I’m trying to decide whether to confront someone I work with tonight (it’s their last shift) and explain how their actions have affected me over the last few months. Part of me thinks that I should just let it go, but then I think I have the opportunity to educate someone and maybe prevent them from treating someone like that again. And if they had treated one of my siblings this way I would have confronted them weeks ago. What do you think?

Hello my name is Rosy age 39.

Enjoy photography, reading and puzzle books. Also colouring, jigsaw puzzles, listening to music, radio and journaling.

Summer 2022 I started to attend estuary ladies which is a group where we do different activities. I prefer the day sessions. My life has been difficult as been bullied during lockdown, when out alone and at a former toxic workplace. People don't understand I was there for a long time and I was mortified what I saw. Got diagnosed with PTSD in March 2020. Also got covid anxiety where wake up at strange times. 

My friends are scattered around UK and Ireland. I've lost a pen friend who stopped writing without letting me know.  The previous one was unhappy and I'd decided to do the right thing (taken me 2 attempts to stop writing. First time she rejected and made up excuses); national autistic society doesn't do pen friend anymore. 

Prefer to chat on the forum as don't use social media and give out my personal information. 

The residents of this town ask me uncomfortable questions. Are you working, how do you support yourself and do I get board at home. I try to ignore them as being nosy. I don't ask people those questions just in case.

Hi I'm Ruby and I'm 27. I just wanted to say you aren't alone. I was recently diagnosed with autism and it's hard. I didn't have any friends really until I was 25. I found friends within my special interests and with my partner and it's gone from there. Actually a lot of my friends are Autistic. I was bullied a lot at school and have PTSD due to that. I love you are teaching yourself to play the ukulele, I love how they sound! It's hard to find your people but don't give up. I'm always happy to be friends. 

I restore and collect vintage phones. I have a G scale railway with my partner and a OO/HO railway as well. I love painting, drawing, coding. I love cats! I love squishmellows as well as most soft toys. I have lots of tattoos which are calming to look at! I've only watched on harry potter film, but I have played several harry potter games! I love baking, I usually bake after eight and chocolate orange cupcakes. I made a Jaffa cake cake once, it was so hard! 

I wish you the best of luck on your online course!