Hi :)

Hi Pru,

I can relate to (inappropriately) apologising!

Welcome fellow classical music lover!

My man is the great J S Bach though when I was younger 'twas Wagner and I wished to become a Wagnerian opera singer.

It turns out I am a Verdi baritone though it took decades to find out, my voice is ruined and it's likely too late and i am not in a position to flourish.

Do you musik yourself?

Sing or play any instruments?

I struggle with my speech also (stopping problems!) and so I'm currently mute!

I would not wish to be too wordy here to!

Greetings, salute and best wishes to you,

Jim

Jimberry and the Couscous (Youtuber)

I love Bach too. To me Bach seems to be almost perfection - it feels so perfect to almost be beyond the ability of a normal human being to create. Super measured and calm and perfect. So different to Beethoven which seems full of human passion and the storms of human emotion. 
Struggles with speech are very familiar to me as my son has Selective Mutism. People who don’t think about speech have no idea just what a struggle speech can be for many autistic people. It’s a really tough thing to deal with and it’s hard to get good support. 
it’s great that you sing Jimberry - singing is so good for our mental health I’m sure. It’s a release of emotion isn’t it? Have you thought of joining a choir? I think a lot of singing groups have sprung up in recent years. I think I’d be too self conscious to join a singing society though - even though deep down I would like to. I’d like to be more sociable in theory - but when it comes to it I find it far too stressful. It’s a shame. 
l’ve been wondering recently about autism and isolation. I’ve always felt I didn’t want friends but as I get older I wonder if a part of me did all along - but I was just to scared to be more sociable. I’m not sure anymore. It’s lovely to talk to people on here. I think autistic people get on well with other autistic people maybe? People seem so nice on here. 

Thanks Kate,

I was in choirs years ago but have not been able to join anything for a long time besides a very small choir which is just a handful of people who get together for their mental health so its very very informal and certainly no classical music or singing from sheet music or anything like I did in my past.

More recently...

I phoned the director of music of a parish choir and he never returned my call.

I applied to a cathedral choir and completed the equal opportunities section stating that I am autistic and they did not acknowledge my application.

I was overheard at a church I snuck into yesterday and I think the lady was high up in the church from the way she was talking. Anyway she said she enjoyed my singing and to come back. I left her my Youtube name (same as here) as a way for her to contact me after we found a pen and paper as I am mute presently.

She did not seem to know much about autism and may be frightened after seeing my channel but I shall try and go back in a few days and hopefully no-one will come in and I can sing or she might come back and either be just as welcoming as before or... who knows! I tend to get a lot of people wondering who I am or what I am doing when I am out and about. I am the one that gets followed by the store detective and if waiting around anywhere, even outside my vacated council flat as yesterday; it's not long before police show up to ask me who I am and what I am doing.

I guess I must come across as really strange. But hey there's not a great deal I can do about that. I move atypically, I behave atypically!

Personally I consider Bach the genius of geniuses not simply the composer's composer. I wonder if he was ... you know... but then he had 20 children!

Maybe being weird wasn't so weird for his time and place.

Take care and have a sneaky sing yourself if you can find somewhere private!

Clear the cobwebs!

Jim

Thanks Kate,

I hope you don't mind me saying this.. I really like your name. I have a friend whose daughter is named Kestrel and I am really keen on alliteration, sometimes obsessively so!

Don't underestimate people power! I think if we all could band together we could make a difference. I have for now laid down the campaigning (asides from my forthcoming video) as I am too unwell from working to long and hard at it and from my current situation. But do stay in touch in case I ever start up again and am in need of some signatures. I don't think my failure was down to much beyond not understanding social media and being to express myself coherently (despite how my writing may appear!).

Thanks for the best wishes,

I am returning them back (I want them I just like sharing :) )

Cheers, 

Jim

I’m glad your friend’s Mother was there for you - that’s wonderful. 
There’s such a lack of support for people from the state/govt. though - it’s not good enough. I wish we lived in a kinder society. Maybe in the future things will improve - but it won’t with the current lot in charge. I hope you get a good social worker who is empathetic and supportive. Best of luck to you :) 

Thanks Kate,

I hope you are having a good day. I was helped in large part by the kindness of the mother of my old school friend and now lasting power of attorney.

She helped me get back to fitness physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Without spending that year out (I have now fallen back into great difficulty) I would not have known that I need a more supportive and structured living situation in order to thrive. Unfortunately that has not been forthcoming in spite of the recommendations of an assessing social worker! (I make brief mention of this tomorrow in my first video directly covering autism should you be interested to know more).

I am on the urgent waiting list for a social worker (again) though I am not that hopeful given the paucity of appropriate accommodation and services for someone with my needs.

For some strange reason (errors in future prediction) I remain hopeful. Perhaps I have to be?

I've just returned from singing as part of the (very) small (very) amateur choir of which I am a part ('singing for well-being). We were there for the opening of a small garden by a library (I think! I am so easily confused! Must be the booze (yes I have quit though I am sure it has affected my brain regardless)!

All the best to you and your son. I struggle with inappropriate laughter at times. If I think of something funny my threshold is low and I will spontaneously laugh (with my very loud voice!). It doesn't matter if i am stood in a post office queue or some such (which I rarely am)!

Take care and thanks again for your response.

Fear is very toxic all round isn’t it? My life has been greatly negatively affected by fear in myriad ways (in fact it almost killed me once due to a medical issue that would have been much reduced if I hadn’t been so anxious about taking action about it). I think people are unsettled by noise that they are not expecting - I for example when people have Tourette’s others find it very difficult to cope with. Again - because they don’t understand it they are fearful. It’s very sad that there is so much misunderstanding about things like this. I worry that because my youngest child is male that as he gets older any behaviours he shows (like pacing around) might be viewed with suspicion or as threatening in some way. We were in the bank once and I was in the queue (my son was about 19 at the time) and he was pacing up and down and a member of the bank staff approached him to see what he was doing - I think they were concerned by his behaviour in some way. I found this very annoying and unnecessary that they should view him with suspicion for something so harmless. 
I hope it goes really well with choir tomorrow (or today?) - it’s great that you’re doing that. 
Good too that you don’t drink alcohol anymore - that must have been difficult to overcome. I’ve often used alcohol to cope with my anxiety - but my body can’t tolerate large amounts so it didn’t become a big problem in that sense. But it’s easy to come to rely on it - because it numbs things doesn’t it? Ultimately though it’s not the answer - as when the fog clears all the anxiety is there again. 
Singing is healthier that’s for sure :) 

Fear is very toxic all round isn’t it? My life has been greatly negatively affected by fear in myriad ways (in fact it almost killed me once due to a medical issue that would have been much reduced if I hadn’t been so anxious about taking action about it). I think people are unsettled by noise that they are not expecting - I for example when people have Tourette’s others find it very difficult to cope with. Again - because they don’t understand it they are fearful. It’s very sad that there is so much misunderstanding about things like this. I worry that because my youngest child is male that as he gets older any behaviours he shows (like pacing around) might be viewed with suspicion or as threatening in some way. We were in the bank once and I was in the queue (my son was about 19 at the time) and he was pacing up and down and a member of the bank staff approached him to see what he was doing - I think they were concerned by his behaviour in some way. I found this very annoying and unnecessary that they should view him with suspicion for something so harmless. 
I hope it goes really well with choir tomorrow (or today?) - it’s great that you’re doing that. 
Good too that you don’t drink alcohol anymore - that must have been difficult to overcome. I’ve often used alcohol to cope with my anxiety - but my body can’t tolerate large amounts so it didn’t become a big problem in that sense. But it’s easy to come to rely on it - because it numbs things doesn’t it? Ultimately though it’s not the answer - as when the fog clears all the anxiety is there again. 
Singing is healthier that’s for sure :) 

Thanks Kate,

I hope you don't mind me saying this.. I really like your name. I have a friend whose daughter is named Kestrel and I am really keen on alliteration, sometimes obsessively so!

Don't underestimate people power! I think if we all could band together we could make a difference. I have for now laid down the campaigning (asides from my forthcoming video) as I am too unwell from working to long and hard at it and from my current situation. But do stay in touch in case I ever start up again and am in need of some signatures. I don't think my failure was down to much beyond not understanding social media and being to express myself coherently (despite how my writing may appear!).

Thanks for the best wishes,

I am returning them back (I want them I just like sharing :) )

Cheers, 

Jim

I’m glad your friend’s Mother was there for you - that’s wonderful. 
There’s such a lack of support for people from the state/govt. though - it’s not good enough. I wish we lived in a kinder society. Maybe in the future things will improve - but it won’t with the current lot in charge. I hope you get a good social worker who is empathetic and supportive. Best of luck to you :) 

Thanks Kate,

I hope you are having a good day. I was helped in large part by the kindness of the mother of my old school friend and now lasting power of attorney.

She helped me get back to fitness physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Without spending that year out (I have now fallen back into great difficulty) I would not have known that I need a more supportive and structured living situation in order to thrive. Unfortunately that has not been forthcoming in spite of the recommendations of an assessing social worker! (I make brief mention of this tomorrow in my first video directly covering autism should you be interested to know more).

I am on the urgent waiting list for a social worker (again) though I am not that hopeful given the paucity of appropriate accommodation and services for someone with my needs.

For some strange reason (errors in future prediction) I remain hopeful. Perhaps I have to be?

I've just returned from singing as part of the (very) small (very) amateur choir of which I am a part ('singing for well-being). We were there for the opening of a small garden by a library (I think! I am so easily confused! Must be the booze (yes I have quit though I am sure it has affected my brain regardless)!

All the best to you and your son. I struggle with inappropriate laughter at times. If I think of something funny my threshold is low and I will spontaneously laugh (with my very loud voice!). It doesn't matter if i am stood in a post office queue or some such (which I rarely am)!

Take care and thanks again for your response.