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I read the title and thought; "Just buy a mirror, or if you are unsighted, ask a trustworthy friend".

Sadly it took me nearly a week to actually hit send, admittedly, such is the power of fear, when a simple word/chrominance pun, can be seen as something entirely differently to a population that has several years of race baiting shoved down our collective throats, disguised as "promoting unity". And why is proudly identifying as BAME considered O.K. but proudly identifyiing as white, and celebrating our achievements & good qualities makes you a card carrying member of the national socialist party? 

I've just watched Max Verstappen win, and cheered. I liked Lewis Hamilton much more than him as a driver, and was looking forwards to cheering Lewis on to a record breaking eighth championship, but he tried to turn into a politician/influencer, and there are more than enough of them already. Maybe next year he'll concentrate a bit more on his actual JOB and leave the social engineering to others? 

And having got the social conditioning thing off my chest, (I was triggered by the word BAME, which is a perniciously divisive construct at it's core) let us consider the real problem that Aurorathebwitch really faces. The medical profession.

We ALL get microaggressions from them! They have the hideous job of professing competence to oftimes frightened anc needy people, when deep down, they know that the training only goes so far, and the internet is now keeping them honest! They pay them a lot, but it is a hugely difficult and stressful job, and the vast majority of the doctros and nurses you meet, are trying as hard as any Autist to wear a very strong "mask". Throw in a wide diversity of competence, not helped by the fact that nowadays "competence at your work" is now held to be less desirable than quite a few other parameters when selecting employees, and so you do indeed face a lottery.   

For me when I go and see Dr Wasim, I don't even consider any of that cultural racial stuff, past the initial observation.

I just want his medical competence, and service. So I wouldn't even consider his "bameness" or my lack of it. I just see him as a bloke doing a job, where I know he has been meticulously trained to believe he knows more about my body and what will work for it than I do. (And it''s mostly going to be true, whether I like it or not, but they don't know everything and do make mistakes, so I keep my wits about me, and ask plenty of questions.)

I also know he is busy, and I'm overly talkative, so I do my best to keep "on point" and only speak when I really need to, or (having read a book about the mechanics of human interactions, I know how to do this sometimes) if I can say something that I know will make him enjoy the experience of treating me a bit more in some way I do that becuase it helps us both get where we need to be. 

The moment they moved beyond castigating race haters, (which should be done at every opportunity) and into legislating that we are all the same interchangeable units, when reality has taken such great pains to demonstrate otherwise, was the day we all lost the previous plot, and stopped being any sort of meritocracy where we used to apply our focus on competence rather than equailty of outcome. You will get the treatment you get, from the physician on the day, and it depends far less on what race or groupage you are in, than it does on how pleasant and co-operative you can be, multiplied by the mood and competence of your servant in this matter.  

Glad to have helped!

I’m self diagnosed. My assessment starts next week

Just remember, no one is going to walk in the doctors and ask for an assessment if they didn’t feel they weren’t on the spectrum. Any GP should realise this. There’s too much stigma attached to it, only those that are would want to know….

Good luck.

thank you for this! but judging by their profile - i think this is a troll comment so i wasn’t going to reply initially haha

thank you!

I understand how you might be confused.

I think she met that because she is a black woman, it is significantly more difficult for her to get diagnosis. Any advice you have on how to help her out would be really cool :) 

Start wars and no problem :)

always happy to help 

i’ve written a comprehensive list that is very long - i’m half hoping they just refer me just to get me off their back because I’ve been to that GP sooo many times and got misdiagnosed just so they can fill the quota.

going private isn’t an option - id rather wait months on NHS, but it’s the initial GP referral i’m panicking about because I’ve been going to this GP all my life and know they will judge me..

were you diagnosed at 48 or earlier? 

thank you for your advice! you’ve helped a lot 

thank you for welcoming me 

I understand this and didn’t mean to alienate other women, but I had to be specific as it’s a difference experience for POC. hope you understand 

thank you! mostly everyone seems cool here xD

thank you for your advice and understanding. i understand - they either mansplain, think you’re exaggerating or relate to something they deem menial like stress

thank you! i’ve taken your advice and wrote down a comprehensive list and 2 examples for each! it’s a long document but so worth it. 

thank you again! not into star trek? star wars? sorry  thanks again haha

As long as you are armed with the right information, and give your reasons for wanting an assessment, mentioning family with the condition, and how it affects your life, that’s all you can do. Be factual, and don’t give up if they refuse to refer you. You will be able to get a second opinion, and try again. Failing that, you can always go private, if that is in your financial reach.

I think things are improving where the treatment of BAME people is concerned. I’m 48. I’ve been fobbed off more times I can remember. And the struggle was real getting my daughter assessed. When I mentioned possibly being Autistic myself, it was more of them saying that I didn’t need it, I don’t need a label, and I’ve achieved a lot in my life. 
You just have to remain dedicated to your cause. Focus on why you’re there, and don’t predict how you might be treated before the event. Worry about that after you’ve been in to see them.

Welcome home!

Grateful that you posted here. We all felt stigmatised by our families. But there are times whenever we need to create our own family.

"You can't spell families without lies!" (Four Christmases) 

Sadly it's a huge stigma for Americans as well regardless of culture. Many females describe the same things you have here, I don't think you're alone, but if you're open, connecting to other women in general might help as we all have very similar stories. 

'may the force be with you' Every post should end with this!

Sorry I can't be much help in this specific area, I hope you can find someone that can be more helpful, But on another note Welcome to the community ️ Any questions just ask away, I'm sure someone can help! GOOD LUCK

also, 

welcome to the community :))))

Hi 

I'm really sorry. I really want to help but I'm not from a BAME background. I'll give it a shot if you let me though :) 

I have a lot of issues speaking to health professionals (for health not autism) and there is a lot of stigma because I'm female they tend to say its stress related when its not etc. (not super relevant) 

I think the best thing you could probably do it make their jobs easier for them. Familiarise yourself with the diagnostic criteria. Then go along each point finding evidence or instances where you have met this criteria. Then explain why you think this diagnosis could help you out. You are on dragons den and you are trying to pitch and sell your idea except this time you are just looking for a diagnosis. 

Unfortunately we aren't going to solve all the worlds problems in a 10 min appointment so It's important to be strategic and structure your plan. 

I hope it all goes well for you !!!!!

May the force be with you :)