Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I am ugly. I look like a hobo; a troglodyte; a "B" movie monster--- but without the pay. I have no money. Let me see a show of hands of the people who want to date me.....
{five seconds pass; ten seconds....}
Hum. Anyone out there? Anyone?
Otch, well. I seem to have the same luck in the imaginary world than I have in Real Life. Since nights of passion and ecstasy appears to be off the table, I suppose an introduction must suffice.
I am ugly. I look like a.....
Oh, wait: I did that part already.
For the past 20.4 years I have been ranch hand on a cattle ranch located in the lonely canyon lands of Northern New Mexico. Perhaps you can imagine what this has done to my love life.
David! Stop doing that!
Oops. Sorry. Where was I? Oh: in New Mexico, living and working on a woman-less cattle ranch, north of Santa Fe. I am surrounded by sandstone cliffs, down here on the canyon floor, among ancient Gallina Phase ruins. These were a collection of Rosa pueblo people who lived here about 700 to 88 years ago. I presume they had women here way back then, which is why I wish I had been born long ago.
I do the usual ranch hand things: hammer my thumb instead of nail; run terrified away from Cow Number Fourteen, who appears to love the taste of human flesh; how beans in the blistering sun, then fall on my face due to dehydration; die each night of loneliness because I am once again alone with no woman to...
Okay, okay. You do not need to know that part.
Before coming to the ranch I lived in a cave for 29 months, alone, because there are not many women who wish to live in caves these days. Yes: really. I wrote a popular memoir about the "adventure."
Before then I delivered boats around the planet for lazy boat owners who did not want to face death going places.
Before then I worked in Information Technology for 12 years, for a heartless international corporation that had plenty of women stomping around, but none of them found me worthy of sharing her life with me.
Because I'm ugly. And I look like a troglodyte.
Your true self is who you are when you are totally absorbed in doing something you love doing. And there's no one around to see you doing it.
Gosh, that brings my recall of when (five years ago) I went to The Cowgirl in Santa Fe on Monday so that I could Karaoke (yes, really) and while I was waiting for my name to be called a woman walked to me and told me I have a fine smile. I assumed she was a whore, so I moved away from her. It was inconceivable that she would not be. I still think she was working.
I understand that there are many hundreds of millions of people no one wants for a mate. I do not believe that woman-kind is that shallow, yet it is a fact that attractive people choose each other.
ah crud.... i fail on all of that... i dont even think i do smile at all, infact im sure my face is paralysed and incapable of showing any emotion of change of shape haha
dont prostitute yourself then, prostitute others. all you need is cash loli mean if you only want sex its there for the taking depending on the cost. i guess alot of girls these days will be cheap given how diluted the market is.
aye true, genetically speaking youd want the most attractive, for that signifies better genes and thus a better genetic child. although even then you cant please them as they also require you to have good personality too. in essence they want perfection, but yet no one is perfect so you end up basically wanting a type of person that doesnt even exist and thus end up with nothing at all. perhaps their lesson in life is that they must be accepting and make some exceptions in some areas if you want to get anyone at all. especially most of these women they arnt perfect themselves, they are like 5/10s but yet they expect a 10/10 good looking model.... its never gonna happen.... the people they want will turn their nose up at them in disgust, they need some self realisation that the people they want are literally out of their league lolwhich tbh these days the best looking men are usually gay anyway, so they have no chance. the people they want dont want them... and they arnt willing to be more reasonable. but yet men are expected to not go for looks and are expected to drop their standards otherwise they are pigs? but yet that doesnt work the same way when its women? women are allowed to be pigs and go for such high standards that are out of their league? double standards of society.i personally accept anyone that clicks with me and accepts me. and is a reasonable distance. no one is like that though, because they are all pigs, society has corrupted everyone to be so superficial and shallow.
Women are supposed to be "picky and fussy:" just as men are. It is coded in our DNA.
Dawn said:But an old flame of mine occupied my thought for two decades. Destiny returned him to me. I had occupied his also.
That was wonderful for you, I hope. I cannot even imagine what that was and is like.
For 30+ I have looked intently and constantly to see interest of me by a woman, and it never happened--- not even an attraction where she would stop and say "Hello" to me.I was transparent: no woman saw me.
If it's sex you want, then why don't you pay for it?
It is companionship that I crave; I have too much self-respect to pay a whore, and I find prostitution to be revolting.
As for self-image, I mask myself every time I am around people: I have no clue at all how to behave. A woman I adored told me that I should let everyone see my true self, as she had done. I had no idea what that meant--- I still do not know.
I point out that a mail order bride is not a prostitute, nor is an online date or city girl.
if your responce to the disinterest of the women around you is to avoid women then the objective of getting a woman will forever be beyond your grasp.
if you truly want a women you must go to where the women are and be willing to accept a lot of rejection because you might have to woo a great many women before you find one that reciprocates
Pathology, or love? I don't have the answer. But an old flame of mine occupied my thought for two decades. Destiny returned him to me. I had occupied his also. But at that time I also saw why it could not be in this life time. The passion and the love were real, the possibility of sharing a life was not. I don't regret loving him and never will. But I let that go...for this four score and ten at least ;-)
As for letting someone in, it's always a risk, but yes you should. Some one out there is worth the trouble.
Oh, As a woman, lol, I have to pick at the overgeneralisation there :-). Maybe you've just met the wrong women.
Shy David said:I went to sea because no woman wanted me. I went to New Mexico because no woman wanted me. I lived in a cave because no woman wanted me. The lack of interest in me was the driver--- it came first.
I disagree - your expectations were not immediately met so in effect, you have spent your life running away from women to places where you know there will be zero women.
Are you *really* looking for a mate?
Gosh. Thank you. I have too much self-respect to go to a brothel, and I find sex-for-hire quite revolting and insulting. I recall the whores in Panama, near the pot-of-call and the "yacht club" at the dinghy landing. MAJOR YUCK!
I went to sea because no woman wanted me. I went to New Mexico because no woman wanted me. I lived in a cave because no woman wanted me. The lack of interest in me was the driver--- it came first.
women are very picky and fussy, but then again, they too end up alone because of this trait of theirs.
Thank you: I see that you are wise, and perhaps wiser than I am. I have been called a "genius," and "wise," but I feel the fool when I contemplate my behavior and my thoughts. It is foolish of me to lament a lost friend for 24 years, yet I think of her several times a week. That is not wisdom: that is pathology.
My friend 24 years ago once told me that I should show the people around me my true nature instead of hiding it. I had no idea what she meant: I did not even know I am autistic, nor know I was "masking" out of the business requirements dictated. She also told me "You will make a wonderful husband and father for someone." She did not know how painful that was to me.
My roommate Lyndelle wondered why there were no women in my life,and told me I would regret being alone--- as if it was somehow my choice to be alone, lonely, and in pain every night I laid down alone. It was not a choice that no woman found me worthy.
Stop 'shouting' that might help.
its ok, my laptop just could categorise your link,,,,
and u are not ugly.
i would hang out in country and western clubs if i where u ---- learn to square dance
my laptop threw a security fit when i used your link.
Perhaps you are correct, but I do not know. I do not recall any woman showing interest in me.
Image of me