New to this forum; diagnosed as autistic in January 2020

Its really interesting that you say that, because ive been put in touch with another employee in my workplace who says they can unfortunately relate to my situation, and also because i too have spotted aspie traits in colleagues but feel like you cant approach the subject. We're going to start a working group within HR to bring ideas together on how we can help employees on the autism spectrum, and maybe by spreading awareness it can help other people realise they can relate to the behaviours 

I don't like the feel of make up, but wearing sun lotion or heavy moisturiser is the worst!

I'm glad that you're comfortable with yourself, thats something I'm trying to adapt to now

I think that coronavirus has made some people more self aware, and kinder to others, and i agree it makes it easier to start conversation or maintain small talk with strangers

Welcome Hbee, congrats on your perseverance with the GP. It's a disgrace that they didn't take you seriously! It makes you wonder how many others out there who are being fobbed off, partly I am sure because a referral means £££ to them   .... I am sure that as a society - what is surfacing is the 'tip of the iceberg'. Where I work, I can spot some real telltale signs of Aspie behaviour in others, who may not be aware, it's cringing because I can't say anything incase I upset or offend  them, even though I suspect they struggle. 

Hi mouse2
Good to hear from you.

(still haven't worked out how to get notifications of replies but I'll get there)

Just a hello Ess See

Thank you - I do like lists I've been using an app called Tiimo and that's helping me to plan my day a bit better.

I have found that I've been able to be myself a bit more without the pressures of going out all the time, although I'm finding it harder to put the mask back on when I do go out. Then again, who cares about putting the mask back on? I should just embrace my differences  I agree - I think it's a good time to explore what works for us and how we'd like to approach things in future.

Hi HBee,

I had similar problems with all the dressing up, wearing make up and going to the hairdresser bit (female  p u r g a t o r y) but have thankfully evolved a system now where I can please myself and be comfortable.

Friendships I still find difficult and that probably relates back to a lot of childhood stuff.

During lockdown I have been wearing a face mask and so have an awful lot of other people. So, during food shopping, providing people 'are' wearing a mask, I have shamelessly talked to all of them! I also find that most people are really happy to talk, even if it's just about how tedious all the queuing is. Try it. :-)

Monday and the opening of non-essential shops is now on the horizon. I'm going to continue to wear a mask (I think they are being given out for free on buses and tubes) and I'm going to continue to talk. We are after all in exactly the same COVID-19 boat.

Stay safe
and every good wish
Ess Cee

Hi Oscie

Me too - the effort and the exhaustion were just how life was. Plus, I thought, I wasn't very good at it. 'Must try harder'.

Waiting for assessment is no fun. I coped as best I could by setting up daily little art projects for myself - and keeping a workbook and photographs - as well as keeping my getting up routine as stress-free as possible.

I also kept in mind that I would be unlikely to be on the list for assessment at all unless there were indications that I fitted somewhere on the spectrum. Just as true for you.

And yes, I totally agree, one of the best benefits you can have is self-acceptance.

Every good wish
Ess Cee

Hi NAS67708, TX for reply :-) What is ACC?

I've always tried to act 'normal', particularly for work purposes - and I've been fortunate enough, at least latterly, to find jobs that I could do in my own time and at my own pace. Sometimes it has felt more like a square peg in a round hole and just as uncomfortable as that sounds.

I hope you are feeling relieved that your expectations - that you are indeed autistic - are resulting in lots of positive energy and confidence. Lots of creative people are autistic so what's not to like?

Every good wish

Ess Cee

Hi there

I'm also new to the NAS community and forums  :) I've recently been diagnosed as autistic, at 27 years old. It took 2 years from the point of referral from the GP to get my assessment (i had to beg my GP to refer me because they didnt believe i was autistic). Getting my diagnosis made everything click into place and i finally felt an acceptance in myself that its okay to act, dress and feel differently compared to other people

Ive always found it difficult to make and maintain friendships with other women because theres this unspoken expectation of how women should act and look, and i just didnt fit into their expectations/clique. Ive found the lockdown particularly difficult because its already hard to try reach out and talk to the few friends that i have anyway

Hi welcome. I am also waiting for assessment ....3yrs now and probably forever more due to COVID 19  I am also expecting Asperger's. I know that I learnt to mask from school age, apparently girls are better at this than boys. So these learnt behaviours almost become the 'norm', except they are exhausting due to the additional effort. I wasn't aware that I was putting in extra effort, I thought that was normal until I entered adulthood. I am now 54 and reaching a point, where the effort is getting too much. I also feel as if I should be respectful to myself and be more accepting. It sounds as if you are also recognising this. 

Hi Ess Cee and welcome,

I'm also new to this forum (and joined after it was recommended to me) and I was diagnosed 31 days ago with Asperger's (also as an adult, who expected that outcome) and it wasn't shocking to me (perhaps because I didn't hide the fact that ACC was affecting my behaviour, to begin with).

Hi, Duckbread, Thanks. Waiting is the worst. Outside London the wait is something like 18 months. Just stick it out; establish a routine, and start your day with a list (I find short lists the best). And yes, the pandemic has slowed everyone and everything down.

I didn’t know the word masking until fairly recently - I’ve only ever been conscious of putting on a bright face and acting as if I’m having a great time - because ‘that’s what you do’. Well the good thing about a diagnosis is that you’ll find ways to use that time more constructively. 

I think it ‘is’ a struggle to ‘unmask’ - we’ve being doing it, albeit unconsciously, for most of our lives.

One good thing about the pandemic is that it is making the world a quieter greener place. Bit by bit we can start to reset our boundaries so that people know what kind of things we prefer to participate in (and tough if they don’t like it) and just practise living life on our own terms 

Hi! Welcome to the forum  I'm still waiting for my assessment - I had an initial telephone assessment a few weeks ago, but my face-to-face one might not be for a while due to the pandemic. I do a lot of 'pretending' (or masking) too - it really is exhausting. I don't even mean to do it at this point - it's almost like I don't know how to unmask. I hope you find the forum helpful