Newly Diagnosed as an Adult

Hello and welcome to the forum! Unfortunately there appears to be a vacuum of post diagnostic support for many people! How are you feeling bout your diagnosis?

Thank you. Yeh I'm really feeling that.... Have no idea what to do with myself now. Can't find any local support groups or anything. Been having really mixed feelings about the diagnosis I think. First it was a relief to finally understand and it made so much sense of everything in my life up till now. Then I went through a kind of denial phase of thinking I'd somehow tricked the assessor into making the diagnosis wrongly. And now I've kind of hit a hopeless stage where I feel like I don't know how to change anything or how to cope with it on my own. Other people's reactions also haven't been what I'd hoped so that's been hard... How did you find it when you got diagnosed? (assuming you are of course, you may not be!) 

Have you asked your local autism services about post diagnostic support? Failing that your GP might be able to signpost you to something? I started my own local social group for Autistic women after my diagnosis last December, helpful for me and for others! I have 20 members and still growing! It can be a mixture of emotions following diagnosis, I’m still adjusting but over all I’m quite positive about it, I understand myself a lot better now than I used to! I’m sorry to hear that other people’s reactions haven’t been what you’d hoped for. Who has reacted negatively and what did they say/do? 

No worries! I hope you enjoy the group! Yeah that's exactly it, blaming things they have done wrong on our Aspergers/Autism because it's easier than accepting that they are wrong! So annoying! I think that most people would find it rude if someone was nosing at them opening a private envelope or parcel, it is an invasion of privacy! My eldest daughter (21) is always borrowing my things without asking, I have to hide my hair brush and my footsie socks otherwise they go missing! My husband always tells people all sorts of things about me without my permission, he's like a newspaper! I HATE the insinuation that because I'm Autistic, that I can't have a valid point or opinion, it's so demeaning! You're not ranting at all, these are issues that I have to contend with frequently too! 

Thank you so much, I will definitely look for and join that group if I can, it sounds great. Yeh my dad is similar in blaming things on my Aspergers that really are not my Aspergers at all. So like the other day he got in a sulk because I didn't want him to watch me opening a letter and parcel of mine because he wanted to see what was in them. When I said I didn't want him to watch me opening them he said "yeh I get it, you're autistic and antisocial". It's like....... not wanting to be watched opening a private letter and parcel is not being antisocial or anything to do with my autism, it's called having a sense of privacy! Which he really doesn't have at all, he will just come into my room without knocking and borrow my things without asking and tell people I don't know all sorts of things about me without my permission. And also the "you're autistic so you're misinterpreting" line whenever we have a disagreement about something. No... actually, I might have a valid point and it might be YOU who's misinterpreting or in the wrong. I hate it, it's so frustrating. Sorry for the rant, I really appreciate you sharing the facebook page.

Have you tried phoning the helpline on this website to ask about support and funding? If you're on Facebook, I'd suggest joining 'British women with Aspergers UK connect group' (I'm assuming that you're female? apologies if I'm wrong!), I belong to it myself and I'm far from being the only person who has formed a local social/support group. There are quite a few 'unofficial' groups popping up in various places and the FB group is a closed group and a good place to either find such a group or to link up with other people in the same area as you. I know what it's like when others blame things that are due to them on your autism. When I get annoyed with my husband about irritating things that he has done, he tries to blame it on my Asperger's. For example, when I got annoyed with him for putting the kids clothes in the tumble drier and shrinking them, his eventual response after a protracted dispute about it was ' oh I can't deal with your Asperger's'. Is this the sort of thing that you get from your dad? People shouldn't expect you to change your way of thinking and they shouldn't use it against you either. Mind you, one thing that surprised me after I was diagnosed and people started actually telling me when they were joking, was how frequently I'd thought people were being serious and got quite offended when it had just been a joke albeit one that I didn't get! 

I've asked, but apparently there is none and I can't find any either so they must be right. No groups or anything. Only thing I've found is the NAS stuff and that has to be funded and their entire website gives no indication as to who might fund such support or how to get it. So I've given up hope of any post-diagnostic support already. My dad has been quite bad with the news. He most definitely has it too, just won't admit it or get assessed, but now I've got the label he's started blaming all sorts of things on my autism that are actually related to his autistic traits. It's absolutely infuriating. Then I've had friends use it against me in arguments to say that I must be misinterpreting them because I'm autistic and expecting me to be able to just magically be able to change things like the perfectionism and black and white thinking overnight, which I can't. I don't know how. If someone can give me some instruction on how to change those things then I'm quite happy to try, but I currently have no clue how to do that. So yeh, reactions haven't been that great! Has made me not want to tell anyone else about the diagnosis at all.

I've asked, but apparently there is none and I can't find any either so they must be right. No groups or anything. Only thing I've found is the NAS stuff and that has to be funded and their entire website gives no indication as to who might fund such support or how to get it. So I've given up hope of any post-diagnostic support already. My dad has been quite bad with the news. He most definitely has it too, just won't admit it or get assessed, but now I've got the label he's started blaming all sorts of things on my autism that are actually related to his autistic traits. It's absolutely infuriating. Then I've had friends use it against me in arguments to say that I must be misinterpreting them because I'm autistic and expecting me to be able to just magically be able to change things like the perfectionism and black and white thinking overnight, which I can't. I don't know how. If someone can give me some instruction on how to change those things then I'm quite happy to try, but I currently have no clue how to do that. So yeh, reactions haven't been that great! Has made me not want to tell anyone else about the diagnosis at all.

No worries! I hope you enjoy the group! Yeah that's exactly it, blaming things they have done wrong on our Aspergers/Autism because it's easier than accepting that they are wrong! So annoying! I think that most people would find it rude if someone was nosing at them opening a private envelope or parcel, it is an invasion of privacy! My eldest daughter (21) is always borrowing my things without asking, I have to hide my hair brush and my footsie socks otherwise they go missing! My husband always tells people all sorts of things about me without my permission, he's like a newspaper! I HATE the insinuation that because I'm Autistic, that I can't have a valid point or opinion, it's so demeaning! You're not ranting at all, these are issues that I have to contend with frequently too! 

Thank you so much, I will definitely look for and join that group if I can, it sounds great. Yeh my dad is similar in blaming things on my Aspergers that really are not my Aspergers at all. So like the other day he got in a sulk because I didn't want him to watch me opening a letter and parcel of mine because he wanted to see what was in them. When I said I didn't want him to watch me opening them he said "yeh I get it, you're autistic and antisocial". It's like....... not wanting to be watched opening a private letter and parcel is not being antisocial or anything to do with my autism, it's called having a sense of privacy! Which he really doesn't have at all, he will just come into my room without knocking and borrow my things without asking and tell people I don't know all sorts of things about me without my permission. And also the "you're autistic so you're misinterpreting" line whenever we have a disagreement about something. No... actually, I might have a valid point and it might be YOU who's misinterpreting or in the wrong. I hate it, it's so frustrating. Sorry for the rant, I really appreciate you sharing the facebook page.

Have you tried phoning the helpline on this website to ask about support and funding? If you're on Facebook, I'd suggest joining 'British women with Aspergers UK connect group' (I'm assuming that you're female? apologies if I'm wrong!), I belong to it myself and I'm far from being the only person who has formed a local social/support group. There are quite a few 'unofficial' groups popping up in various places and the FB group is a closed group and a good place to either find such a group or to link up with other people in the same area as you. I know what it's like when others blame things that are due to them on your autism. When I get annoyed with my husband about irritating things that he has done, he tries to blame it on my Asperger's. For example, when I got annoyed with him for putting the kids clothes in the tumble drier and shrinking them, his eventual response after a protracted dispute about it was ' oh I can't deal with your Asperger's'. Is this the sort of thing that you get from your dad? People shouldn't expect you to change your way of thinking and they shouldn't use it against you either. Mind you, one thing that surprised me after I was diagnosed and people started actually telling me when they were joking, was how frequently I'd thought people were being serious and got quite offended when it had just been a joke albeit one that I didn't get!