Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, my name is Ash. 35 year old male.
I was diagnosed over a year ago with Aspergers.
I guess I have been in denial for over a year up until recently when I finally got off all medicines, antidepressants, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines (which getting off was a two year process that I was put on for depression and anxiety 15 years ago) and then alcohol 7 weeks ago.
It wasn’t until I got off alcohol 7 weeks ago I came to accept it when I decided to make an effort and go out more on my own up town. Spent over a thousand on clothes etc which seems a waste as without drink my social skills are completely embarrassing. Worse than I imagined and worse that have been through in the past. The cringe is unforgivable.
Had plenty of girls want to talk to me etc but as soon as I open my mouth I screw it up.
Anyways sitting in a pub up town now back on the drink and thought I would just introduce myself. Nice to meet you all.
Hey everyone thank you for the reply’s. it couldn’t of came at a better time. With my orange juice and lemonade I had been working on this girl who works in this bar about half a mile from where I am now in another bar.
I had not drank for 7 weeks. I drank in this one bar and made a point of not going to the bar where this girl works tonight but I guess karma or whatever took over.
Walking to where I am now for the first time I saw her out on the street (she was walking to work) she smiled at me (our conversation had been minimum all this time) so I approached her.. the B****t just flowed out my mouth... worlds biggest cringe. Ended in “ I will see you later “ that was about an hour ago and still can’t get over it. I think I better stay on the dl for a while.
Nice to meet you all and taxi for me I guess lol
Be yourself and stay hopeful - when you meet the right person the relationship thing will work out OK. At 35 you've got lots of years ahead of you to enjoy.
Looking back on my life I can see how relationships might have been different had I understood myself better, but by sheer luck I have ended up married for the second time and OK!
I've put a Tom Waits record on the Virtual Jukebox thread. This reminds me of the anguish of having feelings for someone and trying to get close to them without messing it up!
Thank you sunflower, the cringe has seized at the moment. Most likely due to a few drinks pre boxing event.
It feels as though I can say the right things at times drunk or sober in person. My only problem is starting the conversation. Once I get going if I can concentrate on not saying anything inappropriate then usually it can end alright. My main problem is starting the conversation. Whether it be me or the other person the nerves just take over and it’s so visible if not verbally then physically. After I get to know them it’s fine but as they always say, first impressions...
Well all I can say is try to be yourself. These are professionals and they know what to look for. Go into as much detail as possible even if it means going over allocated time. I’m sure you will be fine. I read over a year ago men in their 60’s wondering why they have been like this all their life’s, going to get assessed and being told they have this condition ( I don’t think it is a condition. More of a gift that ordinary people do not seem to understand) good luck anyways I hope everything works out for you x
I understand how you feel - but when the help was offered it must have been hard to see what difference it would make. Sometimes support is of more benefit when you've started to come to terms with things, like now. Plus you haven't been doing nothing, you've been addressing other stuff.
Having much more to tell the person assessing you is exactly how I feel. I gave the psychologist 18 pages of memories from 2-26 years but I'm 58 now so there's lots I didn't say.
The questions they asked (which were rather strange sometimes) must have been designed to get the information they need. On Friday I'm going to take questions for different scenarios in casemy mind goes blank:
I'm going to try and take some notes too, so I don't have to torture my brain afterwards trying to remember what was said. Not sure whether it's a good idea for my husband to come in with me. It might be...
Well good luck on Friday. When I went for my assessment over a year ago I thought I screwed it up and they wouldn’t believe me as I always seem to put on an act in front of other people due to disliking myself throughout my life. I had so much more to tell the person I spoke to about my life but I only answered questions they put to me and I guess my mind went blank when she asked me if I wanted to add anything. It all worked out in the end for me but to make sure they wanted to do another assessment (only to be double sure) That assessment would not include me but an hour or 2 hour conversation with my parents. Can’t remember the name of the second assessment but it never materialised I guess due to the cost. I was quoted about £800. Obviously I wouldn’t pay it so left it to my doctor to pursue the funding. It never happened so I changed doctors. Tried to pursue it with them and once again never happened. Turns out in the end they were content with my overall diagnosis to confirm I had Aspergers.
i contacted the centre not long after I had finished my interview before all this and spoke to somebody regarding my case and they pretty much confirmed it over the phone with me anyways and told me not to worry.
my only regret was not seeking help for this diagnosis at the time when I was offered it as I put it to them “Well I’m 34 now” (last year) “ what can I do about it” which brings me to here now
Brilliant, thanks! I'm going to design one and wear it with pride if I get my diagnosis on Friday.
You should do. I have never heard of Aspies For Freedom just had to google it. Saw this too https://www.thebadgecentre.co.uk/25mm-promo-badges/?sku=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAw5_fBRCSARIsAGodhk_lMYHgSAm_3Mz77H2_iwOnXqd9KEIZNaoJyQ2MFa98bbpYn72BdKQaAigmEALw_wcB
looks pretty reasonable for prices