Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, my name is Ash. 35 year old male.
I was diagnosed over a year ago with Aspergers.
I guess I have been in denial for over a year up until recently when I finally got off all medicines, antidepressants, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines (which getting off was a two year process that I was put on for depression and anxiety 15 years ago) and then alcohol 7 weeks ago.
It wasn’t until I got off alcohol 7 weeks ago I came to accept it when I decided to make an effort and go out more on my own up town. Spent over a thousand on clothes etc which seems a waste as without drink my social skills are completely embarrassing. Worse than I imagined and worse that have been through in the past. The cringe is unforgivable.
Had plenty of girls want to talk to me etc but as soon as I open my mouth I screw it up.
Anyways sitting in a pub up town now back on the drink and thought I would just introduce myself. Nice to meet you all.
Hey everyone thank you for the reply’s. it couldn’t of came at a better time. With my orange juice and lemonade I had been working on this girl who works in this bar about half a mile from where I am now in another bar.
I had not drank for 7 weeks. I drank in this one bar and made a point of not going to the bar where this girl works tonight but I guess karma or whatever took over.
Walking to where I am now for the first time I saw her out on the street (she was walking to work) she smiled at me (our conversation had been minimum all this time) so I approached her.. the B****t just flowed out my mouth... worlds biggest cringe. Ended in “ I will see you later “ that was about an hour ago and still can’t get over it. I think I better stay on the dl for a while.
Nice to meet you all and taxi for me I guess lol
Be yourself and stay hopeful - when you meet the right person the relationship thing will work out OK. At 35 you've got lots of years ahead of you to enjoy.
Looking back on my life I can see how relationships might have been different had I understood myself better, but by sheer luck I have ended up married for the second time and OK!
I've put a Tom Waits record on the Virtual Jukebox thread. This reminds me of the anguish of having feelings for someone and trying to get close to them without messing it up!
Thank you sunflower, the cringe has seized at the moment. Most likely due to a few drinks pre boxing event.
It feels as though I can say the right things at times drunk or sober in person. My only problem is starting the conversation. Once I get going if I can concentrate on not saying anything inappropriate then usually it can end alright. My main problem is starting the conversation. Whether it be me or the other person the nerves just take over and it’s so visible if not verbally then physically. After I get to know them it’s fine but as they always say, first impressions...
Well all I can say is try to be yourself. These are professionals and they know what to look for. Go into as much detail as possible even if it means going over allocated time. I’m sure you will be fine. I read over a year ago men in their 60’s wondering why they have been like this all their life’s, going to get assessed and being told they have this condition ( I don’t think it is a condition. More of a gift that ordinary people do not seem to understand) good luck anyways I hope everything works out for you x