Pop quiz! Do you like going out shopping?

I too don't like the shops when busy. I went to our town to shop this week as I needed to check on a size. I went early so there weren't many people.

Even then I meant to get something I couldn't get online, but in my haste to get back home I forgot. I think that is the first time I have been to a shop in town since the first lockdown. I prefer my local shops if I need something.

Hi Luna,

well - we’ve been sort of ok, and sort of not ok - as usual! 
You might prefer shopping online - I like it because I can take my time choosing things, and you can see how much it’s costing as you go. We miss the yellow stickers in the supermarkets though - we used to like finding bargains :) 
But having said that you tend to stick to what you know you need - you don’t get tempted by seeing random things and buying them - so it’s probably cheaper in that way.

how are you Luna? 

Hi Kate, haven't seen you here for long time. Hope you and your family are all doing well :) 

I'm looking at starting shopping online soon. I think it'll be less anxiety and better for me.

When the pandemic began we started doing our supermarket shopping online and I really prefer it. Before that we always used to go to the supermarket in the evening when it was really quite. My youngest son really likes supermarkets if they’re quiet because he likes choosing things (he’s an adult now and still likes them). We always always went when it was quiet - and the rare times we go now we go really early in the morning when it’s quiet too, - partly because of Covid, and partly because we prefer it so quiet.

but mostly we get it all online. I like not feeling rushed. I don’t like it being delivered and the delivery person coming and having to chat to him - but my husband deals with that now. I make sure it arrives when my husband isn’t at work. 

Autonomistic,

Thanks for the compliment and validation.  I think I'm going to stop all psychological therapies/counselling because this forum is more validating for WHO i am than who counsellors and psychologists have thought because I wasn't aware of the fact that these things were making things worse for me.  What I actually needed and need was validation from a community who understand what it's like to be Autistic.  I didn't realise how damaging it was for me to "do" what society expects and how damning it is to think I am broken because I cannot do what everyone else seems to do so easily. Stuff fitting in with what's expected.  Lets celebrate out own talents like being a great support to each other. :-)

The older I get, the more I find myself going out of my way to actively avoid going out shopping. I can just about cope with paying a visit to my local convenience store, but can't be doing with visiting my town centre or local out-of-town shopping mall... They are just far too busy for my liking, and I'm not good around large groups of people.

Fortunately for me, I have an adult son that still lives with me. If we need groceries or other essentials, he'll pop out and get them. For anything else, I'll order online.

Ugh 

Just got back from some essential shopping.

It's mad out there.

Must be a combination of Guy Fawkes Night and Christmas shopping.

I'm going into hibernation

The police are unsupportive and unhelpful, don't even try to understand peoples situations. I've seen them harassing the homeless and they were rough with me during my meltdown last year.

That sounds like a good five step plan 

With regards to step four I wholeheartedly agree that exposure therapy is never going to help when the issues are sensory in nature. I think that is why so many autistic people end up much worse when they seek help for anxiety. Repeated exposure actually heightens the sensitivity and the resultant emotional response.

If you'd like to change that, drop their customer service people a line, and tell them how you feel!

Every time I go in Holland and Barrett I vow never again. The staff will just not leave me alone. They appear to be trained to follow the customers around and keep asking if they need any help.

If I need any help I will ask for it. Otherwise I want to be left alone to browse. 

On my last venture in there I was approached three times within a few minutes, twice by the same member of staff. What part of "no I'm just browsing thanks" do they not understand? I felt like screaming at her to leave me alone and left without buying anything.

Wow! That's opened a can of worms for me! (I wonder if they'll start selling cans of worms when humans have exhausted all other food resources.....)

I can soooo relate to what everyone says on here! The tannoy is like someone shouting in your ear! The lights make everything have an "unreal" feel.  The people chatting, smelling of strong strong perfumes.  The cleaning isle shouting at me with it's processed smells just as I enter the store.  I always need to prep myself before I go shopping and I can only go to one particular store because I know it.  

I wrote to the management of a certain shopping centre explaining the needs of sensory sensitive folk and now I notice classical music above my head.  The thing they failed to do was turn of the music in the individual shops and change the lighting.  Okay, so I know this is never going to happen due to finances but I am certain the majority of us are Autistics but we are bloody good at masking to appear otherwise.  Except I am emerging more and more myself as quite frankly, I don't give a f@@@ anymore.  I'm done with trying to be how I perceive others want me to be:

Step one: Wear clothes that are comfortable and not what my mum wants me to wear to attract that elusive "soul mate."  I'd rather be me and connect with someone who admires that not what a female "should" look like. I have my own unique style and I suit it.

Step two: Tell people of clubs I want to go to that I cry when I am overwhelmed and allow them to make a decision as to whether they can handle that and if they are understanding of it. I've found all are so far.

Step three: Do not apologise for crying.  It's normal and uncomfortable enough for me without having another stick to beat myself with.

Step four: Stuff exposure therapy.  Shops will always be horrible places because of my senses.  Exposing myself to them will not reduce my sensitivity.  I have tried and it doesn't work.  Going at certain times when they don't move all the products (as folks have mentioned here) works best as routine is comforting and quick.

Step five: I am quirky.  I am drawn to people who are non conventional.  I am going to seek them out, befriend them and revel in my weirdness. F%%% society.

Can of worms firmly closed with lid tightly on and worms free to live another day however they damn well like. ;-)

That's the best idea. One of the coffee shops in our town had a system where you could leave extra money and homeless people could have a coffee in the warm. I haven't been there since the pandemic though.

I took my Artist Friend with me, this afternoon, to Meadow Lane; Magherafelt. He got three pairs of Jeans, for £75, at Dunne's. Then, I got supplements from Holland and Barrett.

Win-Win. And it was, in his words, the quickest shop he ever did. 

Shame. 

I always give food to homeless ones; but no longer give them money, after a Panhandler fleeced me off €300 in Dublin; Easter Sunday 2009.

The police attitude has not changed.  I constantly see the police community support officers harassing the homeless.  It's almost their full time job.

You didn't offend me, a policeman did back about 50 years ago when I was thirteen on a school trip and a beggar was trying to get a few pence out of us well heeled grammar school types.

He drove the man off then turned to us and told us how we needed to avoid such people as "he had fleas".

I could only see someone even worse off than me, and I found our attitude to the poor as being uncaring and wrong, an attitude that has stayed with me, ever since.

And talking to them can be unexpectedly rewarding. One guy gave me some great urban survival tips, which if I had ended up going "on the lam" to avoid the "camps for the unvaccinated" (which they were talking about implementing last Chrismas, would have come in very handy. He was once a station master, but had still ended up homeless and on the street..

That's fine you csn down vote me, I don't mind and i apologise if i offended you . That's awful what happened with your neighbour.  I very rarely ignore people begging outside a shop, even your type B. I don't give money but always say "sorry I have no change" or something to that effect. Some just want people to talk to in which case I briefly give them my time. We don't know people's stories of why they are in the situation they are in and I'm always very aware that I could quite easily be in their shoes but for the grace of God. 

Sorry Out_Of_Step, I think that's one of the only two downvotes I've cast since joining this site.

In my opinion your attitude is a little small minded, and if I may say, somewhat inconsiderate.

I'll try and explain. Thee are essentially two sorts of beggar. A) Those in need, and B) those who are "taking advantage". 

Type A beggars have my sympathy, they are out there holding out their hands because they can't see a better way to get their neds met. Their immediate needs might be for drugs, electricity for their flat, food, drink, but whatever they are, until they "make that money" they can't think or do anything else, it's a nasty form of slavery in my opinion, and my £20, will give them a brief time out, or a microscopic "holiday" from having to beg. Of course, I'm not often so "comfortable" I can give my money away, in fact it's been twenty years or so since I crossed the poverty line and entered "financial destitution", so usually I have to apologise, and say "I'm sorry mate, I'm only a step away from joining you" or somethng similar. 

Type B beggars, get exposed fairly quickly, as no one likes them, so they are in no way as common as you might expect. 

The only beggars I tell to "beggar off" are the ones begging me to buy stuff or embrace ideas that I don't need, on the TV set and pretty much everywhere else. 

I've got a neighbour, a pensioner who used to take a long walk into the city and dish out some minor charity (coffee and cigarettes) very regularly. Eventually, after many years of doing this, some random eejit beat seven shades out of him as he was getting off the bus near his home.  

I hope you told them to "beggar off"