Published on 12, July, 2020
My 14 y.o keeps 'shutting down' every Friday in school. I'm not quite sure why. But today I had to pick her up early.
I didn't take the car we would usually take and she got distressed. She explained that the car we took today is really loud and not smooth whilst driving.
Today in school she refused to do work, eat, drink or even participate in lessons. This happens every Friday but she was refusing and misbehaving, unlike the other Friday's, where she will just shutdown.
When she got home she wasn't talking to me and blamed me for taking that car and not the other, then there was no food, then she said I was neglecting her. She is now saying she will not go to school on sunny days since she does not like the sun, the warmth or the brightness and it puts her into a negative mood. I need help!!!
(She only does part time in school).
thats awesome. respect.
This school she will be going to can meet her needs, has 1:1 support and it also says she needs these things in her EHCP. This was our last resort for her to have an education. Thanks for the advice x
She is a road cyclist too. She absolutely loves and always wants more clothes. She loves going out by herself all the time and she just got back from one. She is so happy that it is her longest ride (16.07 miles). She won't stop talking about the challenges she faced and how she accomplished them. She would talk for ever about it. So glad cycling helps you.
meditation should work took me 2 years everyday
a. to get it right
b before things started to change
its ok, she/u tried
get here a good bike, get her into a cycling club that goes into local competitions
I am a road cyclist it is so good for her. i love it. I totally switch off.
You need to not put so much faith into the education system providing extra support, it doesn't matter if your daughter goes to a specialized school she is not going to get the one to one support in that environment she needs to help her understand her behaviour. I am saying this from experience of being in the extra support class when i was at school and funding is less know per child than it was then it was.
Thanks Blue, we will definitely look into that. She is Year 10 now so we are trying to get into a school which specializes in ASD which provides a lot of support. She knows some of her triggers but otherwise she has no clue why she misbehaves on Fridays.
She loves school as the teachers can understand her better than mainstream. The timetable she has now is the one she came up with and was willing to do. We were homeschooling her after being removed from school then covid-19 came. We understand school was definitely damaging her to as she started to attempt to take her life and self-harm, luckily we changed where she lived, which was very hard for everyone, to live with her dad for a while, but now she's just started to do full time with us which was her goal. I'm not sure why Friday's haven't gone well as she loves school.
We believe she was masking her autism for many years. She only got diagnosed last year, after moving house, school and areas 2/3 years ago. After that we had many serious issues. She won't wear sunglasses unless she's out on her bike (she's a dedicated road cyclist). She could be under a lot of stress since we are planning to have an extension done soon since we couldn't move house and upset her. We've tried meditation but it doesn't work for her unfortunately. She doesn't go to school on Thursday so could be returning to school on a Friday be an issue? She has Science, P.E, Math and English every Friday which she loves. She does these lessons all week so I'm not sure what the problem is. And with the teachers, she likes them all. I don't know what to do...
Try to find out the reason why,she may not understand herself ,just reaction to events.my eldest son had a similar phase and we talked to school and he dropped 2 lessons that were the problem PE and IT.
i home school 3 of mine ,school was to damaging for them ,another person i know , does an online school for hers as she was starting to self harm and that is going well.
it sounds she is quite sensitive to noise and light and heat, like me. I carry sunglasses in my car in case I need them which a bit. I also carry headphones and earplugs everywhere.
As for the shutdowns something has changed ( puberty ?) and she is under extra stress. She could be masking more or struggling with the school work more. I am guessing.
I used to shutdown everyday for 30 - 60min,,, now its once a week tops. I used meditation to reduce my stress levels so I suggest she joins a Yoga class or a mindfulness class if possible to learn relaxation/ meditative skills
what is different about Friday ? what classes/teacher does she not like on Friday ?
No, You don't need help, Your daughter needs support from a professional so please call the national autism society general enquiry line and ask them for advice and to sign post you to professional who can work with your daughter to develop coping mechanism so she can manage school and recognise triggers that may result in challenging behaviour.