I can't do this any more and I don't know what to do.
I can't do this any more and I don't know what to do.
I feel like it most of the time but it's definately worse recently. It's like my brain has reached capacity to try and I've lost the desire to even care about anything now. I've given up and accept i just don't belong in this world now. I used to be so much more driven and wanting to do things but i just don't care anymore. I hope it's just a bad day for you and that you feel a bit better tomorrow.
I've come across your post as I was about to do my own post similar to yours. Is it everyday you feel like this? It's particularly bad for me today. I too enjoy time by myself but it would be nice to have friends and be invited out to places or someone to send a message.
I can relate to a lot of what you've said. On some level I like time alone, to pursue crafting hobbies. It's a strange feeling then to also feel so alone because of it at times. I guess it's a feeling of a lack of connection with people rather than physically being around others as I can often feel alone in a room full of people or with one other person if I just don't feel I belong. It's confusing to know what to do to feel better about things.
Now in my 8th decade, your message in turn may me reflect in the same vein.
Growing up, I had an older brother who was physically disabled, so I was his arms and legs so to speak. These days I'd probably be seen as his carer, but it didn't feel like that at the time. He passed away unexpectedly almost 50 years ago at the age of 24, and I have felt lonely and alone ever since. I know a lot of people, but have no friends or family to turn to/talk to. I've been married for over 45 years, and can confirm that there is no lonelier place to be than in an unhappy marriage.
For years I would think to myself "Why aren't I like other people"? Although I haven't had a formal diagnosis, based on test results and life experience I'm quite certain I'm autistic as it's now viewed. Unfortunately, when it mattered ie when I was a boy/young man, autism had a much narrower definition and indeed a stigma - certainly rarely talked about. My struggles were not noticed, other than possibly when I was about 9 and my school report said "needs more self-confidence"; nothing ever came from that.
I'm usually OK in a one-to-one situation, but as soon as there are two or more other people I'm always the one on the outside. I can't bear parties; the more people around me are enjoying themselves, the more withdrawn I become.
I have very few hobbies, and whilst I used to listen to music a lot it's become one of many things that just seem too much effort.
Perhaps the hope expressed in your final paragraph will apply to me too.
Thank you Oscar , I feel you are very similar to me, I’ve always felt like an alien and spend a lot of my time in my workshop with a radio for company. It’s hard to explain that I’m not antisocial, it’s just how I regulate myself. My diagnosis was only last year, I’m fed up with being told that I’ve given up. I used alcohol for decades to try and control autism, this week I will get to 900 days alcohol free, I’m happier in my self but many don’t understand the different me.
Ellie1984, have you ever thought about getting a pet, such as a dog and cat?
I have read a number of people on the spectrum say they love their pets, especially their cat because it provides comfort and intimacy they don't find with other human beings. There seems something about a cat that people say puts them on the same "wavelength" as somebody who is autistic, although, obviously, it doesn't apply to everyone.
Hi,
I am in my 7th decade and have generally felt alone most of my life. Your message made me reflect upon the nature of my loneliness.
Firstly, I generally feel alone surrounded by lots of people, crowds, audiences, etc. because I not connected to them in any way. But, I can also feel very lonely in a 1 to 1 situation; even with partners at times. This is because I am too connected to them and I switch off to be alone.
Secondly, I often choose complete isolation from others to pursue hobbies whilst listening to music or audio books. This is chosen loneliness when I can genuinely relax and feel comfortable in my own skin. I have done this all my life.
Thirdly, this website was mentioned in the information I was given following my recent autism assessment . This has been a big boost to my very low level of being in touch with other people. I like it because I can decide whether and how I want to respond to others. Also, people are as similar to me as I am ever going to find. So, I am certainly not as lonely as I used to be.
I hope you will benefit from being here and perhaps feel little less lonely too.
Best wishes,
Oscar
Same, the only person I regularly talk to is my mom as I struggle to maintain friendships, never been in a relationship either. Feels like I'm destined to be alone. I want friends but it's hard to make them, and becoming friends with neurotypicals often leads to you becoming the laughing stock of the group. Not only that, I can't deal with the consistency and effort a friendship requires, as most days I don't even get out of bed
I always feel alone, and I often end up being alone as I say too much and annoy people. We all have our funny ways, and they are funny, they are great, they make us who we are, they make us interesting. As everyone says here, this is the space you can be you and we all want you here. Make the most of this space when you feel you can't access other spaces.
I think you meant you don't belong in this world rather than this forum, where of course you are welcome? You say you feel so alone and lost, with nowhere to turn, and I absolutely relate to that. Most mornings I wake up and start ruminating. At some point I find myself thinking that maybe today will be the day I meet someone I CAN talk to, but it never happens.
The point I'm trying to make is that you are definitely NOT alone. People on here get it, and whilst we may not be there for you, we're certainly here for you.
Thank you for answering.
I also often have this feeling. You do belong here.
You have every right to feel the way you do. It‘s hard for so many of us and you absolutely do deserve better. I don‘t really have advice, but know that you are welcome here and that you‘re not alone with those feelings (even if it feels like it).
