I can't do this any more and I don't know what to do.
I can't do this any more and I don't know what to do.
Hello,
I suffered with autistic burnout last year and can well understand your feelings right now. It took me a few months to recover but I am much better. I do hope you are feeling better now? It is tough at times but even in this crazy world, you meet some amazing people who really do make your day seem better. Have you considered your family may be much more supportive of you if you chose to tell them about your diagnosis?
Sorry for my delayed reply . I'm at complete exhaustion today and feeling down. Have you ever tried the Shout text service? I've found them useful.
Two things at once, you have alot to process. That's good you have some counselling lined up.
To some degree yes. I need the op to help with the symptoms I have so I want it done asap. But at the same time its a big op that will have an impact on my life after too. It feels like a lot to take in, especially when I found out about it around the same time I had my autism diagnosis. It feels like my brain has found it a bit of an overload to process.
You will lose people along the way, quality far outweighs quantity. I still mask around most people, it’s just easier. It does use up a lot of energy though . I understand your concerns with telling people, you sort of workout who’s worth telling. family have been the least receptive, they think they know you. It is like opening Pandora’s box, once it’s been opened, it can’t be closed.
My view is very much that I am autistic, not a mass murderer, if they don’t like it then go away.
I was thinking about reposting it as a new thread, but couldn't face it.
Oh, I know that feeling! I hoped it was the missing post. I hope your enjoyment in music returns. It has been lost to me since I developed tinnitus, five years ago.
I don't know if you realised, but the above is the "missing" post I tried to copy and paste, and you kindly pointed out it hadn't worked 
. I was thinking about reposting it as a new thread, but couldn't face it.
PS I said "8th decade" as it was the format used by the person to whom I was replying. It simply means between 70 an 80.
Thank you for sharing. Im finding everyone's comments so helpful. I hope you find some peace and feel more like yourself soon.
Now in my 8th decade
I'm not competent with counting like that, but I'm in my 70s and recently diagnosed. Although I've suspected for a few years, a friend dismissed it as the two main men in her life present in unmasked ways and she assumed the mask is me. Diagnosis has released me from lifelong guilt and shame, although I'm just embarking on unmasking.
I'm usually OK in a one-to-one situation, but as soon as there are two or more other people I'm always the one on the outside. I can't bear parties; the more people around me are enjoying themselves, the more withdrawn I become.
That's probably familiar to most/all of us, as autism centres on differences in social communication. I've always hated parties and diagnosis gives me a reason I can offer to NT friends without feeling the old guilt and shame.
In the past i did lots of things like fitness classes, craft classes and a choir to get out and around people but i still never felt i could connect with people very well. I seem to have lost interest/ capacity to do that recently. Apart from work I rarely leave the house now. Im in pain too , awaiting an operation, which doesn't help at the moment.
I have family but I think one factor in why I feel so alone right now is that I've decided not to share my diagnosis with anyone. I've been trying to decide if I tell anyone but I'm scared of their reactions and have decided not to. I'll be starting counselling in 2 weeks through the nhs to talk through a health issue I have been diagnosed with at the same time as my autism diagnosis. I think thats another reason I've been struggling more, because 2 things came at once. Ive been told I can discus anything with her ( not just the physical condition I've been refered to her for) so I'm hoping that will help. It just feels far away right now. How are you today?
Ellie, I think you do belong in this world as much as anyone else; it's just that you haven't found your right place yet, but when you do, you'll offer whatever gifts and abilities nature has endowed you with to be a valued member of society.
I get that about reached capacity. However I do still care about things. That's sad you don't. Do you have any in person support? I 'only' have professional support, I literally pay people as I don't have friends or family around. Thank you, I hope you feel a bit better soon too. I'm pleased you've found the forum. Keep posting.
I feel similar, especially your comment about the brain and not caring about anything.
Heaviness of the face, lack of expressivity, anguish and the loss of motivation or will to do things.
Taking medication for depression has been quite useful in my case. I wonder if you have talked about your case with a professional.
I do not have friends because I find that very hard and exhausting. Somehow the way people live friendships is not very natural for me.
And in a sense , i'm yet to discover it. It tends to be less frequent than the normal way, and have some focus or topic or theme, rather than the unstructured conversation type.
In the past , i've tried "parallel play" and that was wonderful for me , but it's a pretty odd way of communicating , I guess.
I hope you can feel welcome here, and that you come to the forum sometimes.
Well done for getting to 900 days. That's a huge achievement. Im glad you feel that for youself it has been a positive step and you recognise that your happier. Unfortunately it's really hard when others don't like to see the change even though its been a change for the better for you. Some people just want you to stay in the way that they are used to or a way that maybe benefits them.
