I feel stupid for thinking I might have autism

Have my assessment tomorrow.  I literally only did the online test last weekend and the results didn't surprise me.  I'm lucky my healthcare at work covers assessment - so that's been arranged super quick after I did their screening questionnaire.  Trying to keep an open mind about tomorrow - although strongly suspect a diagnosis will be the outcome.  For the referral I've had to open up to one parent to get their input, by no one else knows.  Understand those that decide against formal assessment but for me think it may help explain a lot of the past and hopefully help me navigate my future. 

Good luck saccharinedreams about your decision on whether to get assessed.

If other people are telling you that you appear to them as autistic, go with the majority view and ignore the single internal voice, at least until you have been clinically assessed.

The original paper published by the developers of the RAADS test claimed that the test identified 97% of previously diagnosed autistics and excluded essentially all non-autistics.

This totally resonates with me. I found it helpful to read and listen to podcasts from reputable sources to learn as much as I can about what ASD really looks like, to bust all the old stereotypes I was holding. It was also helpful to make a chart with the diagnostic criteria and how I meet each one. Then I started thinking about how certain family members meet the criteria too, and that sealed the deal.

What you’re describing is resonating with me a lot. I regularly think of myself as a silly idiot for thinking I might be autistic. I too had teachers, counsellors and friends asking me if I was autistic or highly sensitive and I had to learn that some of my former classmates had spread rumours about me being autistic (which isn’t that bad when you think about it, but at the time, I was a bit insecure about this fact). While transitioning schools I used to have massive meltdowns in school to the point of the teachers having an intervention with my parents. I’ve never been a bad student though so after I learned to hold everything in till I get home, they no longer cared. 
Thus, I’m still not sure if I’m autistic or not and I’m also still thinking about seeking a diagnosis just to be certain. 18 are not a lot of years to have on your record so who knows, what life will bring, but for now I’m trying to accept the part of me that is thinking about this possibility and I’m feeling surprisingly good about finally daring to join some kind of community. 
I wish you the best for your diagnostic process, may you find the answers you’re looking for and no matter how all of this turns out: as long as looking into autism helps you to understand at least parts of yourself you’re definitely not an “idiot” or “silly” for doing so.

600$ buys you a fair stash of ammo, and probably a serviceable pstol if you shop around... 

So do you want to buy a label for yourself, or go down the range and blast away at some targets??

It's a more sensible question than it sounds...

Your not being stupid at all, I was disgnosed less than two weeks ago, had always felt something else was at play before I had my son, after my pregnancy however, 3 years later upon seeing how he acts so differently to his peers made me recognise the same traits and struggles in myself, encouraging me to get a diagnosis, thinking it may have been inherited. One comment I heard from a family member was 'but she's intelligent and can do things I can't, so they can't be', also everyone kept putting it down to a recent 'slight hearing difficulty' diagnosis I had from when I was small, later on I realised it didn't explain alot of my behaviours and quirks. I've yet to recieve the report but I was fast-tracked through as highly likely, but it explained alot of things. Go for it, the worst (or best-depends on your view) they can say is they say your not autistic but that's not to say it isn't down to something else. Just be honest and include as much information as you can, writing a list helps (and mine was a very long list) of everything you experienced and noticed. Good luck!

Well, at least after the assessment you will know either way. Even if you're not autistic, it should show any other issues like ADHD or mental health problems, which will then settle the matter.

Once again, my comment was not intended to be personal. It was an ill considered, flippant comment, which  I am sorry has caused you such offense.

I’m sorry I didn’t want to upset you. I myself heard a comment that now it’s trendy to be autistic, most probably because of TikTok videos. Anyway thinking that you are autistic is nothing bad or stupid. 
i had imposter myself. The first time I accidentally found out what is autism and Asperger it hit me like “why it’s a description of me?!” The research and tests began. Then I had doubts to the point that I thought I don’t deserve to be part of this forum. Now I’m probably in a burnout. I often struggle to communicate and cry without reason. So now I’m not thinking about it anymore. Going to see a specialist soon. 

I know it’s best to consult professionals, which is what I said I was already doing. This is my first time here and I just was looking for some reassurance and emotional support. Is that not what this community is for? 

Hi Ssaccharinedreams,

My comments was not intended to be personal. I did not intend to imply you get your information from TikTok.

On matters relating to our health, mental and physical, it is probably wise to consult experts.

From the research I’ve done, many studies have shown that self assessments such as RAADS have high false positive rates, especially for those with other mental health disorders. I know they’re made by experts, but they’re designed to catch a wide net. So, people with autism are unlikely to score negative, but it is common for people without autism to score positive. 

I’m not saying I used TikTok as my source of info. It’s just that people don’t take a lot of new people who believe they may have autism seriously bc they assume they think so just bc of tiktok. 

also, I’ve taken the RAADS as well as other online screening tools and they all state I likely have autism, but I still can’t help but feel skeptical and like an imposter, y’know. 

I never said I got my information from TikTok. I was just saying that a lot of people say that people think they have autism just bc of tiktok and, therefore, many people do not take people who believe they might have autism seriously bc they assume they just got their info from tiktok. 

Alien0n3arth said:

I’m not sure if TikTok is a reliable source of information

I’m 100% sure TikTok is not a reliable source of information.

Why do you say that false positives are common with "self assessments"? The tests have been created by experts in the field and if you answer the questions honestly, they will give a fairly reliable result.

The doctor I saw when I suspected I was autistic asked me to do the tests and send him the results - when he saw them, he agreed with me but advised against being referred for formal diagnosis by a psychologist - giving the reason that it wouldn't make any difference as I wouldn't get any support as I was self sufficient. He did say he would keep the test results on my medical records though, and that I could request a referral at a later date if things changed and I felt I needed support.

I am not formally diagnosed, but I know I am not neurotypical. As soon as I joined this site I was amazed at how much I was like the formally diagnosed people who post here, and found so much support and advice which helped me.

Basically, you are who you have always been - diagnosis won't change that, but it helps some people accept themselves more easily. Most of us have experienced "imposter syndrome" too. But after a while you learn to just accept who you are.

Yes, I’ve taken a multitude of online assessments such as the AQ and the RAADS-R, among many others (basically all the ones on the Embrace Autism website). Almost all of them have said there is a strong likelihood I have autism. I still feel like an imposter though bc these tests are not infallible and false positives are common with self-assessments. 

Your feelings are quite normal, it took me a long time to accept autism into my life. I’m a bit older, my thoughts were, “ I’m nothing like Rainman, I can’t be autistic.” 
The more I then read about autism made me realise that I am autistic. The masking part of your brain is carrying on with, “nothing to see here.”

I’ve seen some of the TikTok videos, a few are helpful, most seem to make the watcher think that if they have one trait then they are autistic, we all have human traits, you should never feel stupid, I have felt ashamed for being autistic, I realised in the end that it was just other peoples ignorance making me feel that way. Good luck with your assessment.

Hi saccharinedreams, 

Our website has a diagnosis hub, this includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before during and after diagnosis.  

You may want to visit the other resources on our website, we have advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, socialising and relationships, communication and education: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance 

You can try searching on our Autism Services Directory for diagnostic services in your local area.  The Directory also includes listings for support and social groups for autistic people, their families and friends. 

Kind Regards,
Rosie Mod