Published on 12, July, 2020
I've attempted suicide many times but I don't do that anymore. I just self harm now. [content removed by Moderator due to breaches of rule 4 of the online community rules and guidelines] but I will not kill myself, or attempt to again, because I know two women whose relatives killed themselves and apparently it traumatised them. Funnily enough, I kind of fell in love with those two women. Well, one of them in particular. The other one I consider one of the nicest people I know. Every day I long for some meaningful human contact but I can't find it anywhere.
ACF85 said:I don't think it's free either. When I sent a text with the name and number, I got an instant reply saying that there is a charge.
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I don't think it's free either. When I sent a text with the name and number, I got an instant reply saying that there is a charge. Unless it's changed since.
Dear Marc,
Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. It is good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.
If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support
The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help
If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/
Help for anyone struggling to cope
We hope this is helpful to you.
Kind regards
Rosie Mod
Rosie Mod said:Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope
I had problems with this service as each time had a reply saying I've texted too many times (that was 3 years ago); something wrong with there system.
Completely get your line of thinking and thank you for your honesty.
I don't want you to die, brother. I'm just another addition to this wonderful safe space for us but I'm here for you as is everyone on here.
Not sure if it helps but I try to make a distinction between wanting to die and not wanting to exist. The difference is much more than what you can spot in the meaning of words. Personally my faith helps me to look beyond the finality of death and the associated 'fear of the unknown'. But that's just me. I only add this because I 'know' that existence doesn't end with death.
The struggle is very real. I've been there in my own way; you're there in your own way. It's real, it's painful and it endures.
Reach out, my friend, and stay with us. x
Andrew
I want to die.
Come to think of it, I don't know anyone in person, so it wouldn't be likely to traumatize anybody either.
Dear Roswell,
Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We understand from your post that you are currently going through a difficult time. It is good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.
You may also find the following NAS resources useful:
Thank you for sharing, my friend. I'm the first to reply but I'll be bold. I'm not new to suicide - both ideation, planning and near misses. I won't say I share your pain because we all experience it differently but suffice it to write here that you are not alone, okay, you are not alone, your pain is real, I'm so glad that both you and I are still alive communicating right now in this time and place. And also, though I don't know you, I love you man. I go to an Andy's Man Club Monday evenings and the refreshing drenching of love that flows throughout the group is still fresh in me.
No judgement from this brother and if the self-harm helps you to deal with things, God bless you with your struggle and remember that you're always the boss and can know your limits. Your attachment to the women you mention is heartening and I say this because I can sense your love for a fellow human being. It reflects on how much heart and love you have and how crucial it is that you carry on, no matter how tough it gets.
It'll be okay, yeah. Sorry, I'm useless with saying the right thing...'we've got this' and all that. Just, thank you for sharing your post. I'm feeling for you and hope you feel some light shining through for you today.