I went to a Pub

I wanted to stress myself on my own terms. I am socialy testing myself to grow my social muscles. 

A few days before I googled, 'is it OK to go to the pub on my own'. It should be fine. If it is quite, the bar-keep will be happy and friendly for a chat. But if it is busy, make a simple order and move away. 

It was quite for the evening. Not sure I was disappointed or relieved? Well it seemed it won't be as testing  as I thought. 

Do I drink alcohol or not? I walked there, so I had options. If I sat on my own, I would be happy with a pint of milk ;). Maybe a tea or a coffee. I chose a bottle of cider. It would keep my hands occupied. I could corress it, or choke the neck if I feel the need. I took a chance and asked the bar-boy if the man playing the machine want a drink. We shared forgettable small talk and a second round. A few people came and went engaging the regular with local gossip. After two bottles i was surprised i felt it in my legs when I said farewell. 

I enjoyed the walk home. I buzzed with energy, soothed in the meditive rhythm of walking. What to do next week?

  • Try going to a restaurant. Lunchtime, Monday to Wednesday are usually quiet times in restaurants, they will be glad of your custom and you wont have to put up with much noise or crowds of people. You quite often get a lunchtime menu which can be significantly less expensive than the evening prices.

  • I love a good Uhane story!

  • when I was under age run away I used to go in the back door of this one bar and play the pin ball machine there just inside, as I was addicted to it. I didn't drink but water but I always drew a crowd and they never kicked me out. It was a wall of noise in there but if I had the paddles in my hands and someone gave me a quarter for the first game that noisy world disappeared as I rolled over free games:

    "Space Cadet". Never forget it.15yrs old.

    I never made any friends there but some times people would buy me food. Once, some one gave me alcohol and, least to say, I did not dignify myself that night with rolled over games - and - an angry barkeep cursed the perps as he cleaned up my sick. I was never allowed in the back door again.

    fast forward 25 years and Space Cadet showed up again as a windows XP game on 32 bit computers.

  • congrats! this is how I felt the first time I went to a gym class - for the same reasons as you. a breakthrough.

  • Well done! Nice one!

  • Well done Open View. Thumbsup tone1Thumbsup tone1

    I've been to pubs a few times and as someone who masks but not to the point of socialising. It's torture, if I'm honest, and more so when I'm very conscious of being alone (I just go alone) compared to when I dig deep and manage to find some ability to engage with others. It always feels very forced when I do engage with others but then again I don't get intoxicated so I'm fully in control of my senses. I think I do it because I get a buzz out of torturing myself...and for passing as 'normal'.

    Other times, I just let the mask slip very carefully and do the whole sensory trail thing. Just something to do/feel rather than to be.

    Andrew

  • Well done for going out of your comfort zone!