I don't feel the same as many of you

I go out of my way to make an impression, online. Like Howard stern, i might push some buttons here and there. But IRL i try to manage my self.

I'm an alien where ever I go. I am the man who fell to earth (Bowie) meets the....uh, t2000, or if i;m in a good mood, Jim Carrey. Andy Kaufman style whacko. Incidentally..They say Jim has ADHD and autism. I believe it.

I go off on tangents. People find that...problematic.

"The reality is that most people do not care that much about your presentation or, for that matter, think all that much about you."

People need to realize just how little of an impression they make on others. Everybody's is concerned with themselves primarily.

I have no opinion of Cat Lady, not enough data. The outsider effect is real though. But it's psychological... most of the time !

TheCatWoman said:

There's a whole set of things that have completey passed me by, like headcannons, I'd never heard of that until I

-Read your post, googled it and found "headcanons"...  

Is that the same thing?

I enjoy seeing your posts, so I hope you continue to share your experiences with everyone here. 

I think there are an awful lot of people here who feel like that, myself included. 

TheCatWoman said:

Most of you seem like lovely people, so I'm not having a go at any of you, but I just feel like I don't really belong here with the rest of you, I don't feel like it's imposter syndrome, more like I stick out like a sore thumb because of some of the above. I feel like I'm irritating people because of my differences, here I feel almost as much of an outsider as I do in NT

I could easily have written that myself, but unlike yourself I am qualified by chromsomes & boomer upbringing to mansplain why you feel like that!

But I won't. Except  to point out that how we feel isn't neccesarily an indication of how we are wired. Feelings are complicated... 

There are people here who seem very like me, then suddenly they aren't. Believe it or not, you are one of those from my perspective, I do hope you do not find that bit of truth horrifying.. For example we both share a friend who we both find to be an outstandingly nice person...  

Part of autism seems to be well descibed in the character Small Dave the brenttofrd postman, and as much as we complain about the NT's pigeonholing us, we do it seems as a group have a tendancy towards Black and White thinking in the main, and few of us manage to get past that, even for short periods of time... 

It's VERY easy to feel like an alien here...  

I love it when we all think differently, it adds richness to the world and depth to our understanding of humanity. I'm not a fan of conformity - who wants to see everyone wear the same clothes, listen to the same music or eat the same foods? Why would we want everyone to think in similar ways? I enjoy when people can explain their thinking to others, as I struggle with this. Some things I can explain OK, other things I can't... so keep sharing please CatWoman!

Being yourself is enough - and I think the joy of this community is that we can hopefully be unapologetically ourselves and (hopefully!) not be judged on here. I read lots of comments on here that I don’t relate to, but also loads that I do. I don’t feel the urge to judge others on here because I feel as autistic people most of us have been through a lot of struggles in our lives and the last thing we need is more judgement and criticism. Not everyone will agree with us or understand us - but on here we share being autistic and I feel a lot of solidarity when I talk to other autistic people - and I really value that.

I’m sorry you feel like an outsider here - I’ve never got that impression when you’ve interacted on here (although admittedly I’m not great at judging these things!). I’ve certainly never found you irritating - much the contrary. You seem to have a lot to offer with your comments and contributions and come across as really friendly. I think as autistic people we often feel this way though - I know that I often feel paranoid that people really don’t like me - even when there isn’t much real evidence (according to my husband anyway!). 
I feel you are very welcome on here - I hope you realise that. As autistic people we all know what it feels like to be an outsider - and I like to think that this community is very good at being welcoming and accepting of each other. 
And in terms of you being ‘different’ - there’s nothing wrong with being different! Different is good, different is interesting! I like ‘different’! 

im also new here like some others but I wondered weather this might help cheer you up 

its a plant and its unique in own way. everyone is unique in there own way and differances are something to celebrate and it doesnt stop there either  at the same time we also have things common in one form or another. I have lots of different interests and will be interesting to get to know you and everyone else here aswell. 

TheCatWoman said:

There's a whole set of things that have completey passed me by, like headcannons, I'd never heard of that until I came here.

I just had to look that up too - you are not alone in your differences.

Like says, it is the diversity in this forum that is its attraction. Neurodivergents are often wildly different from one another and have a whole range of life experiences to share.

I learn new things daily and I find there is a steady flow of people coming here with questions or needs and it is nice to share possible solutions, validation and our own experiences with them to show them they are with neurokin (good word that).

I believe you belong here - you already feel like a friend from the number of conversations we have had across the discussions here.

My offer of technical support remains if you want to take it - no need to let a lack of knowledge hold you back from making the most of something. I can send you step by step guides with pictures as I have done one a few occasions which I suspect you will be able to follow. - you are smarter than you admit to I think.

I don't think you stick out like a sore thumb. I know there are things I agree on like technology. Without people around to help me I would be even worse than I am. I can make quite a mess of my attempts. Like you I don't have a picture on here as that would be too hard, but well done for having a name not a number. 

I don't get some of the modern terms used on here but there are some on here with whom I have some interests in common. I think often due to similar ages.

You are one of the people whose posts I reply to so would miss them if you weren't on here. I can't say I remember a lot of things as I have a bad memory. I find some discussions intellectual so some of the time there are things I don't relate to.

I can't say I have found you irritating. I think I annoy some people in real life and that is something I do find difficult. 

I have interests that many others wouldn't have, but it seems at times I feel more at home on here with that.

I presume you like cats and it seems there are lots of others on here that would agree with you on that one. I hope you continue to post. I find solace in reading posts from other older people who were unaware until more recently. 

Thanks folks, it's great to know that you lot dont' see me as the odd one out, although I often feel that.

I am still relatively new here but you do talk some sense at times!

No seriously we are all different in ways only ourselves understand. This what makes this forum great because there is such a difference amongst us. Sometimes I agree with some threads and others I dont but I choose to reply to meaningful threads to me.

We are a community and a community is made up of differences. The world would be boring if we were all the same but each of us has a lived truth to tell.

Embrace the differences.

Cat Woman. It takes all sorts. I've enjoyed posts of yours and having you around. Maybe you focus on the differences rather than the similarities?

I'm an outcast, even amongst outcasts. 

But Hope understands me, and knows I'll always have food for her.

Hi, I fully understand where you are coming from, I often don’t understand some posts and am not into tech stuff and can’t do art in anyway.

Some people here were highly educated, I wasn’t. Uni wasn’t an option for people at my school.
I do have interests that are different to most people but I can lose interest in them suddenly. The spectrum is huge, we are all very the same but different if that makes sense. I could do all the lessons at school but none of them interested me. I think for many late diagnosed or self diagnosed, just surviving took up all our energy, especially when there was no understanding of autism and not one person who you could discuss your thoughts or how you felt to. That’s why I hang around here, also your  posts are always interesting to read.

TheCatWoman said:

I stick out like a sore thumb because of some of the above. I feel like I'm irritating people because of my differences

You and me both, sister.

I really appreciate reading your comments on various things. I’m still quite new here, but it’s been great reading various people’s thoughts and hearing about their experiences. I’m not one for techie stuff either and for me it’s just that my interests lie elsewhere (and aren’t necessarily shared by others here), which is fine. I do notice what I think is a generational difference in outlook and reflections on experiences, but that might just be me

Thanks Pixiefox, I think it's that I'm not into the techie stuff, that the things I'm totally incompetant at are the things many here seem to excel at and the things that I'm good at everybody else seems to look a bit askance at. There's a whole set of things that have completey passed me by, like headcannons, I'd never heard of that until I came here.

I wonder if it's anything to do with age and when we were diagnosed? I feel more kinship with you and a couple of others who were diagnosed later in life and had had to cope with a life where we didn't fit in right and had to cope? I do feel theres a difference between those of us who were diagnosed later in life and our younger neurokin. I think our younger neurokin, now they're adults are finding that there's even less help out there for adults than children and don't where to turn and this creates a dissonance where there should be none.

I'm also feeling that jut being autistic isn't quite enough, that there's some growing competitiveness over how many other conditions such as ADHD that can be tacked on in a "my diagnosis is heavier than your's" sort of thing. It's reminding me of when as a much younger woman trying to get help for having been physically abused in childhood and people kept asking why I hadn't been sexually abused? It's like wasn't being beaten enough? I think I'm afraid that I will feel the sort of pressure again to either shut up and think myself lucky or to invent or hyper expand something into more than it is for the comfort of other people so as I can get scraps of help from their table.

Sorry I know this is a bit rambling, but I hope it makes sense?

What sort of things? If you feel like sharing. Or perhaps you already have in the past? I’m new here so apologies.