Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like an outsider here, my experiences seem very diferent, my interests different, the things I do or don't do are different. The books I find helpful or not are different. Most of you seem like lovely people, so I'm not having a go at any of you, but I just feel like I don't really belong here with the rest of you, I don't feel like it's imposter syndrome, more like I stick out like a sore thumb because of some of the above. I feel like I'm irritating people because of my differences, here I feel almost as much of an outsider as I do in NT company.
Actually Cat Woman, you and Alienated Human are the two people I feel closest to on this forum, and I really appreciated that you both welcomed me back after my break away from it.
I also enjoy hearing about your interests and your views on things. We are all different and it's great to have a mix of people. I know you're not into technology and computer games, but not everyone is, and although I do enjoy playing some video games I am also interested in lots of other stuff.
Keep chatting to us
Thanks Pixiefox, I think it's that I'm not into the techie stuff, that the things I'm totally incompetant at are the things many here seem to excel at and the things that I'm good at everybody else seems to look a bit askance at. There's a whole set of things that have completey passed me by, like headcannons, I'd never heard of that until I came here.
I wonder if it's anything to do with age and when we were diagnosed? I feel more kinship with you and a couple of others who were diagnosed later in life and had had to cope with a life where we didn't fit in right and had to cope? I do feel theres a difference between those of us who were diagnosed later in life and our younger neurokin. I think our younger neurokin, now they're adults are finding that there's even less help out there for adults than children and don't where to turn and this creates a dissonance where there should be none.
I'm also feeling that jut being autistic isn't quite enough, that there's some growing competitiveness over how many other conditions such as ADHD that can be tacked on in a "my diagnosis is heavier than your's" sort of thing. It's reminding me of when as a much younger woman trying to get help for having been physically abused in childhood and people kept asking why I hadn't been sexually abused? It's like wasn't being beaten enough? I think I'm afraid that I will feel the sort of pressure again to either shut up and think myself lucky or to invent or hyper expand something into more than it is for the comfort of other people so as I can get scraps of help from their table.
Sorry I know this is a bit rambling, but I hope it makes sense?
TheCatWoman said:There's a whole set of things that have completey passed me by, like headcannons, I'd never heard of that until I came here.
I just had to look that up too - you are not alone in your differences.
Like Debbie says, it is the diversity in this forum that is its attraction. Neurodivergents are often wildly different from one another and have a whole range of life experiences to share.
I learn new things daily and I find there is a steady flow of people coming here with questions or needs and it is nice to share possible solutions, validation and our own experiences with them to show them they are with neurokin (good word that).
I believe you belong here - you already feel like a friend from the number of conversations we have had across the discussions here.
My offer of technical support remains if you want to take it - no need to let a lack of knowledge hold you back from making the most of something. I can send you step by step guides with pictures as I have done one a few occasions which I suspect you will be able to follow. - you are smarter than you admit to I think.