Fun discussion about manhood

I was far from being negative.

Actually excited that I had seemingly found some solid common ground with Yellow tree. 

I know I do like a bit of word play sometimes, and might even get a little miscieveous some times, but there I was being as literal and simple as I can manage. 

Would you like to take another look, or would you prefer I break it down? There's no reason we shoudln't eventually reach a happy point of understanding, although I must admit, I thought we had! 

I didn't interpret I Sperg's response as negative?

Sorry I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I responded with an all round positive and accepting response. I don’t understand where this is coming from? I mean I said I respected your choice. If it helps for you to know I used to smoke weed very regularly and I just don’t feel I need it anymore is that not okay for me to have that opinion?

AuTriker said:

Apart from the first one, all those things are traits which make a good human, not just a good male human. And if the first one was just respect other people then that would be too. No reason women shouldn't open the door for men! For reference I am female, but struggle to understand the point of gender role differences.

Thank you for this A.

I couldn't agree more.

MEN have the power?? 

We used to be allowed the illuson of "having the power" but now they dont; even let us have that... ;c)

And regarding cats, I am quite strict about feeding my cat, and I also know at least two couples where the wife was strict and the husband would give in to the cat and feed it too much, so my statistical experience is opposite to I Sperg's.

My mileage certainly does vary! I can do 3, 5, 6, 7 and would be capable of 9 if I wasn't physically disabled (I used to be interested in DIY) despite having only X chromosomes! I also have a gadget for 2...

Now that's the sort of "Intolerance" that makes me feel glad to be alive.

You don't want or need drugs. You don't want your (putative) kids exposed to it, but you don't mind others doing it providnig they don't openly shove it in your face.

Is that about right? 

Yeah, I get that men have the power and therefore it's considered fair game, but if you're going around saying "all men are dreadful and should be wiped out" (an extreme example but some of the comments do veer into that), it doesn't really allow for much of a debate.

Okay, some people may not be willing to have that debate but others will.

Apart from the first one, all those things are traits which make a good human, not just a good male human. And if the first one was just respect other people then that would be too. No reason women shouldn't open the door for men! For reference I am female, but struggle to understand the point of gender role differences.

it comes probably from trauma and being abused. But here is the stereotype: men= violence, women = victims. It’s all mixed. Both men and women can be perpetrators and victims of violence. I experienced a lot of abuse, from both - men and women. And I’m far from saying such s*** about any group of people, just because someone belonging to that group hurt me in the past. Yes, nobody is responsible for other people’s actions and nobody should hold someone responsible for other people’s actions. 

Yeh of course I’ve had tons of friends that smoked weed and I was fine with it I just set my boundary by saying that I don’t personally do it and don’t want to be offered it that’s all. Get baked as much as you like smoke up if you like. It’s your personal choice and I respect that. I just personally don’t feel like I need these drugs. 

I'm coping whatever way, I can.

Learning to take responsibility. First with the house, and then with Hope.

As for drugs, I don't care what consenting adults do. It's the recruitment of children, towards that lifestyle, that's the issue. The 'War on Drugs' actually helped glamourise drug use. Aided, and abetted, by TV and Film.

Oh I've had lots of people say they got a bad feeling about me. But how was I meant to know that when no one told me?

Telling me "by the way, that thing you said was a bit creepy" is not going to be the end of the world. If anything, I would welcome it. 

Being accused of being creepy is horrible, or even "sensing it on the wind" is horrible.

I had to first learn and define what "creepy" really is, then examine myself and see how much actual "creep" I had, and how much is that mysterious misunderstanding that I now know to be caused by Autism. 

AFAICS I'm not actually creepy but I have got some "weird" and probably should keep it on the downlow more than I do.

I think only your 1, 2, and 4 are actually ‘Y-chromosome correlated ‘. 

I am lucky, I also have "no tolerance for drugs", which makes my recreational enjoyment of drugs much cheaper than it is for some poor people... 

Most people I have met who aren't tolerant of drugs, tend to actually be quite willing to embrace some drugs including alcohol and many forms of pain killers etc. perceiveing them (incorrectly) to be "safer" than the cannabis I use. 

Nevertheless, after pointing out a few inconvenient facts as I like to do I'm actually in accordance with YT's point about drugs, I consider my own use to be a vice, or at best a "crutch". I can stop it, and occasionally do, but I am CLEARLY a more socially acceptable person when I do have have a certain amount of THC onboard, I am AUHD, and it does tamp down the worst of the ADD, which keeps me out of "trouble". I've tested it over and over again, using external observers, (I've had time to do that!)

So I'd ask you, If we ever met, if I didn't try to MAKE you tolerate my drug use by keeping it out of sight and not being obviously "baked", would you be able to see me as a regular and possibly useful even beneficial human being despite the fact that I do "that thing"? 

Hi there!

I think getting an understanding of identity is really important.  I'm born as a man, but I don't have any sense of being male.  I suspect this is because my mental picture of masculinity is many of the things I don't agree with or think I do.

- like sport
- punch the air and shout "get in!"
- consider being a good fighter as important
- offer sexualised comments about women, creating them into objects
- not want to talk about "feelings" or "emotions"

The list could go on, but it won't.

I think a lot of that list sounds more a description of you as a human rather than being a man or autistic, I like that you have a clearly defined view of things.  For me being autistic is a constant internal effort to justify my own actions, or to thoughts compared to the wider neurotypicals.

It's difficult when you're accused of being creepy and you didn't realise. It would be fine if someone pulled you aside and was like "listen, you're making people uncomfortable" but no one does that. 

I get where the whole "men are trash" thing comes from. I'm never too sure how to react to it, because I can't take on the responsibility of how all men behave. 

I'm not insecure with it though; I'm not bothered by what a "real man" supposedly is.