Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi fellow men. PS (ladies you can chime in if you wish to add anything too) open to all.
I wanted to get a bit of understanding from the men out there. What do you think about being a man with autism? Is it hard? What support do you get? What do you struggle with? For example aggression, anger management, exclusion, social isolation etc.
What do you wish people understood more about being a man? What is being a man to you? What values create a man?
I personally have certain values I will list here:
- treat women with respect and kindness. I believe women deserve to be treated with respect. I always hold doors open for women and let women go first on the bus etc. Just common decency to me but just little things that make me me.
- doing what I believe to be right. I try and follow my heart and do what I know or feel is the right thing to do in the moment.
- patience. Being patient and taking my time with things. Not rushing into the first thing that comes my way but rather instead taking my time and letting things take they’re natural order.
- no tolerance for drugs. Having the inner strength to say no to drugs and being willing to set those boundaries with those I meet through my everyday travels.
- self control. Having the ability to control my self and not act on the first impulse that I feel. Having the self control to stop myself from making daft decisions (ties into next point below).
- maturity. Having wisdom in years and experience to set an example to younger folks of how to treat others and be in the world.
So yeh this was just some ideas, just a fun topic nothing serious. Feel free to share your own values and experiences of being a man.
I am lucky, I also have "no tolerance for drugs", which makes my recreational enjoyment of drugs much cheaper than it is for some poor people...
Most people I have met who aren't tolerant of drugs, tend to actually be quite willing to embrace some drugs including alcohol and many forms of pain killers etc. perceiveing them (incorrectly) to be "safer" than the cannabis I use.
Nevertheless, after pointing out a few inconvenient facts as I like to do I'm actually in accordance with YT's point about drugs, I consider my own use to be a vice, or at best a "crutch". I can stop it, and occasionally do, but I am CLEARLY a more socially acceptable person when I do have have a certain amount of THC onboard, I am AUHD, and it does tamp down the worst of the ADD, which keeps me out of "trouble". I've tested it over and over again, using external observers, (I've had time to do that!)
So I'd ask you, If we ever met, if I didn't try to MAKE you tolerate my drug use by keeping it out of sight and not being obviously "baked", would you be able to see me as a regular and possibly useful even beneficial human being despite the fact that I do "that thing"?
Yeh of course I’ve had tons of friends that smoked weed and I was fine with it I just set my boundary by saying that I don’t personally do it and don’t want to be offered it that’s all. Get baked as much as you like smoke up if you like. It’s your personal choice and I respect that. I just personally don’t feel like I need these drugs.
Now that's the sort of "Intolerance" that makes me feel glad to be alive.
You don't want or need drugs. You don't want your (putative) kids exposed to it, but you don't mind others doing it providnig they don't openly shove it in your face.
Is that about right?
I was far from being negative.
Actually excited that I had seemingly found some solid common ground with Yellow tree.
I know I do like a bit of word play sometimes, and might even get a little miscieveous some times, but there I was being as literal and simple as I can manage.
Would you like to take another look, or would you prefer I break it down? There's no reason we shoudln't eventually reach a happy point of understanding, although I must admit, I thought we had!