Driving as an autistic person. Advice?

I didn't learn until I was in my mid thirties and passed on my third attempt, the first two times the examiner was horrible and asked me to do reverse around a corner outside a primary school that was just kicking out, right before xmas and it was snowing, I thought it was a trick question and refused as I really didn't think it was safe. I failed, I had him again for my second test and he reluctantly agreed that I'd parrallel parked well in a space that was only just big enough for the car. The thrid examiner was great, he told me to stop half way through the test, I panicked thinking he was going to cancel it because I was so bad, but he said I was doing fine and just needed to breathe.

I'd never been a road user at all before I got into the driving seat of a car for the first time, I can't ride a bike or anything so it was all completely new to me. There is a lot ot be aware of and I think learning how to use the road is harder than learning to operate the car.

Yes - this sounds similar to me. I found learning and the driving tests (I passed on my sixth attempt - which is a bit embarrassing to admit!) - I was SO STRESSED at the tests! But in the end I passed - and I’m so incredibly grateful because I value the freedom that being able to drive gives me SO much. Like TheCatWoman says above  - I drive within my capabilities and then I’m ok. I’m ok on motorways (in fact I like them if they’re quietish) but I never drive through big cities and I always plan my route beforehand to avoid anything I’m not comfortable with. I hated learning and the driving tests but now I really often enjoy driving sometimes. I learned to drive quite late in my early thirties. So if you feel you can face taking the test then I’d say give it a go, because you’ve you’ve passed you might find you can relax a bit more (I did) and find driving itself a little less stressful. And like you say : you’re fear will probably make you a very careful driver - and keep you safe!

miztwizted said:

It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it.

I would tell your instructor this and get them to change the route constantly to push you to apply your skill.

The reason for this is that it requires you to be able to handle the unpredictable to be confident and exposure is the best way to do this.

You have got to this stage from being unable to drive at all, so see your progress, be proud of it and confident of your current abilities - then flex yourself and try the next step of more challenges.

As for the multi-tasking, think if it more as a rapid sequence of tasks - much easier than thinking of doing it all at once.

Being able to drive is incredibly useful as it opens so many doors for you, but being confident in reaching a confident level of driving will show you that you are able to do other difficult stuff in life too.

I used to hate driving in London because of the sheer volume of stuff to take in at any one time (never mind navigating) and this was in the pre-GPS days where you needed a map. Repeated exposure showed I could do this and eventually I found I could relax when driving in central London - a sure sign I could become a Buddist monk I think.

its not skill if its a learned route though... thats the thing.... 

i personally am a bad rider myself on my motorbike... i was decent when i passed but i had very long years decades of gap in which i never rode and i got on recently for work. i was bad and wobbly but the same route each day you get used to and you ride it perfectly.... this learning of the route cant be judged as driving skill. driving skill has to be able to be applied to any road you dont know. your test will be random place, it is a test of actual skill rather than learned route memory. your test guy will tell you where to go and you have to do the correct manuevers for each direction... it shouldnt matter if route is different though as turning right is always the same on every time you turn right, doing same manuevers is always the same and uses the same rules. they are testing you for the rules and way of driving rather than muscle memory learned route.

its harder on motorbike... on motorbike you have to pass 2 stages of a cbt test first before your allowed to do a theory test or a main test.... and the cbt test is harder than the main test and very strict lol

I used to be almost paralysed with fear when learning to drive, I had to take chocolate, rescue remedy and cigarettes with me in case of emergencies. I was exhausted and over stimulated at the end of lessons. I had to give up driving for a bit as I had such bad nightmares and saw someone for CBT about it. I do drive again now and quite enjoy it as long as I know where I'm going and avoid things like motorways, I can't cope with traffic on both sides of me, slip ways onto dual carriage ways are just about OK if they're not to fast. As I rarely travel further than Bangor it's not something I have to worry about. I do find bombing around on single track roads quite fun, although you do have to be aware of cyclists and oncomming tractors with their bailing spikes down hoping for a good crop of cyclists.

Take your test and keep driving, get any help you need to keep you driving too and don't go to long between passing your test and driving regularly or you'll lose confidence. So many jobs want you to have a driving licence even when they don't need you to drive, it's worth having, it's a useful form of ID too.

It is SUCH a useful life skill that can offer you a freedom and independence that is hard to match....that if you can muster the fortitude and resilience....I would encourage you to take your test.

The hidden norms of driving behaviour and etiquette do become more transparent and instinctual, the more you watch and participate with it.

Good luck.