Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been taking driving lessons for nearly 2 years now. From an outside point of view I'm a good driver with a few clearance issues, my instructor even says I'm test ready. What people don't see is the near paralysing fear I feel every time I get in the car. I'm so safe because I'm terrified. I've gotten pretty good at hiding how I feel, unless it gets too stressful and then I cry, but my instructor only really sees that fear and frustration maybe once a month. I'm also good because my instructor takes me on the same route every time, if it isn't that route then its another I've done before, but the test examiner could take me on a different route so any skill I have will go out the window if I get taken on a different route.
I'm considering stopping my lessons. I've spent way way too much money on it for the past 2 years and the fear hasn't gone away. It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it. I got pushed into doing it and feel like I'll let people down and be a burden on my parents if I can't drive myself places. I dont wanna do that but it seems more and more likely after every lesson that that will happen. I'm wondering if continuing is even worth the time, money and effort anymore.
Anyone have any opinions or advice? How do yall find driving?
miztwizted said:It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it.
I would tell your instructor this and get them to change the route constantly to push you to apply your skill.
The reason for this is that it requires you to be able to handle the unpredictable to be confident and exposure is the best way to do this.
You have got to this stage from being unable to drive at all, so see your progress, be proud of it and confident of your current abilities - then flex yourself and try the next step of more challenges.
As for the multi-tasking, think if it more as a rapid sequence of tasks - much easier than thinking of doing it all at once.
Being able to drive is incredibly useful as it opens so many doors for you, but being confident in reaching a confident level of driving will show you that you are able to do other difficult stuff in life too.
I used to hate driving in London because of the sheer volume of stuff to take in at any one time (never mind navigating) and this was in the pre-GPS days where you needed a map. Repeated exposure showed I could do this and eventually I found I could relax when driving in central London - a sure sign I could become a Buddist monk I think.