Are we disabled?

Tell that to those people unable to take a shower or to attend a Jobcentre meeting without help. I dare you.

I say "Ni!" quite often.

I am glad that you don’t feel that way AA. I wouldn’t wish it on you.

'tis but a flesh wound!

Tell me that when I am so anxious about a public speaking event, or high powered meeting, that I feel like vomiting. Or when I have touched a texture that makes me feel that death would be preferable to the bone-deep revulsion I am experiencing. Autism is not linear, there isn't a top or bottom, just variations in what people are able to do or not do, plus variations in the willingness of the individual autist to go through discomfort to achieve goals.

I'm really glad she turned it down for you. Nice to read you encountered someone who was understanding, really good to hear that. 

I was travelling in a car with a friend and she turned off the stereo because she knew I had be sensitive to sound. I felt so happy that she thought of me before turning up, I didn't ask or anything, she said right away she knew how I struggle so she turned it off. 

Kind people are out there.

I have AuDHD and this definitely disables me. Some days I can hardly function and I need to stay in bed and other days I function near perfectly. For me, it's a disabling condition(s) to suffer from.

That’s absolutely fine! We are here to support each other, there is no need to apologise!

I am glad I feel like a safe person to you, that’s a huge compliment!

 I was just asking about Spoon Theory/other types of energy accounting as I know these strategies are commonly recommended in reference to fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome etc, however I was also conscious that you probably have heard all of this before. Also in reality it’s actually quite difficult to apply these strategies in every day life as I know from my own experience that my autistic brain craves constant stimulation and knowledge, whereas other physical needs contradict that.

I am happy to provide advice, validation or just share experiences though including questioning neuro normative expectations!

Thanks AA, and sorry to have dumped on you in my last post, I know you were trying to be helpful. You feel like a safe, thoughtful and understanding person.

Hibernating said:

So, I asked the manager if she would turn the music down.

That’s a great example of self advocacy.

I was in a pub yesterday having lunch and we had booked a table in the center of the place so that we would be as far away from the music speakers as possible.

When we got there, there was a wake booked and we couldn't have the seats - we were put right next to a speaker.

So, I asked the manager if she would turn the music down.

I said that two of us are autistic and the music really bothers us.

I also explained that this was why we had booked those particular seats in the first place.

She was understanding and turned it down which stopped the whole lunch being ruined for us.

It's very important that people are aware that autism can be disabling and therefore are prepared (when they are good people) to respect this and accommodate us.

(The reason I love it is not because it’s encouraging acceptance of the label of ‘disabled’, but because he is encouraging the ‘DISMANTLING OF OUR OWN INTERNALISED ABLEISM’ and THAT I do think is important. :) 

I think this video is absolutely brilliant!

Please share it with the whole world, I think if everybody could hear this the world would definitely be a better place. 
I entirely believe and relate to what he’s saying and he gets my full support. 

Thank you so much for sharing! :) 

Iain said:

Make yourself relevant - use that autistic superpower of your special interest and find something to become very knowledgable about that has a use and develop it to help others.

Great advice!

Amerantin (former member) said:

I simply can’t bear living alone and unknown. There’s no point to it.

I disagree about their being no point. Make yourself relevant - use that autistic superpower of your special interest and find something to become very knowledgable about that has a use and develop it to help others.

Even if your special interest is something like Doctor Who fan fiction then learn how to write it, develop your own stories and write / publish them and refine your skills.  Bring pleasure to the readers this way and you may even develop a revenue stream over time.

You have to be willing to put in the work though - if you sit back and expect the world to make everything better for you then you are bound for dissapointment.

Sorry you have previously had such patronising experiences .

I simply can’t bear living alone and unknown. There’s no point to it.

Amerantin (former member) said:

There is no positive in this.

You clearly have a glass half empty perspective on this - if you could look for the things that do work for you, the things you can enjoy and what is good in life then you could find existance a much more tolerable thing.

See the glass as half full and find ways to fill it further.

Pixiefox said:

My opinion is that I'm not disabled. I see disability as something that affects a person all the time, like blindness or being in a wheelchair. Those things cannot be changed.

One way that the definition of disability has changed over time is by the recognition of fluctuating capacity and energy, this means that one day someone may be able to do everyday tasks and other activities, whereas other days they may need significant support. A key example of this is in the context of chronic illness as needs including support needs can change quite dramatically in a short period of time.

Also, our autistic neurology is often described as a dynamic neurotype given that our experiences and needs can change vastly depending on the environment and our spiky profile. A spiky profile describes a skill set which is significantly developed in one area but in contrast almost neglected in another (namely because of our monotropic cognitive style).

We don’t all feel the same way.