Healthy outlook > Mortality

Thanks for your answer, interesting to read your perspective on it.

I love the necromancy point, such a cool and unusual "fear" if you don't mind me saying!

There are two elements I suppose - one is more practical, leaving behind family and friends never to see them again, and being parted from them.  This feels incredibly painful to consider, and since having kids, I find myself fixating a little on getting the kids to a point where they don't need me any more before anything happens to myself or my wife.

The second element, is more existential I suppose.  I don't have faith as such, rather my fear is one that when it's over there is simply "no longer existing" and that this is just... eternal.  If your consciousness truly dies, just lights out, never to exist again, I find that of itself terrifying - if I truly try to imagine it, an eternity of nothing, no thought, no memory's, no dreams - in fact, not even the consciousness of the lack of consciousness - simply nothing because you don't exist.

Then this will last until the end of time - you never come back.  I find that so so scary :(

I've always wondered if its the part of my excessively logical brain trying to map out the "problem" and find a solution etc, anticipate what happens after my "fear" so I can plan for it - but of course it is in essence unresolvable.  I'm curious as to whether this view is a common one amongst autistic people.

Selfishly, I have two daughters - I consider the above "fear" a burden I have carried with me since maybe late childhood, and I'd feel great reassurance to know that its not common to all autistic people and that my daughters may at least enjoy this life without this burden.

I also hope I might develop a more healthy outlook for my own happiness sake!

I know what you mean, I suppose my outlook varies depending on my mood and tiredness also - I feel at different times I'm less bothered / more robust on the topic - at other times, I'm very afraid.

I can't say I feel like its something I've ever wanted to happen.  I hope your able to get support when you feel this way, and if your ever struggling pls reach out.

I'm not sure my views on personal mortality are really allowed here :/

I'm not scared to die. I'm afraid of suffering but my outlook on my death varies from something that doesn't scare me to something I want to happen as soon as possible, depending on how much I'm struggling. 

I think lots of people struggle with death, the whole concept of it. I know/have faith that there's more than this life, I've had a couple of near death experiences. But what freaked me out the most was the idea of what happens to the body, I found learning about the processes of death both dealt with the fear and calming and has led me to some new and interesting topics, physical anthroplogy, what bones can tell us about the life of a person or population group. Social anthropology, around death ritual and how death is thought about in different cultures and times.

I feel OK with the idea of being dead, I'm not looking forward to the pain and mess of it though. I sometimes wish there was no afterlife, that there was nothing, then nobody would be able to bother me again. I have this irrational semi-fear that when I die someone will develop a relaible method of necromancy and I'll still get bothered by stupid questions.

But if the idea of nothingness scares you, think about this, No-thingness. What is this thingness that you won't have?

Typo - "I really struggle with the "D word""