I hate my life, being autistic and so broken that the NHS won't touch me

Oh no don’t say that, you’re very valuable. You are loved. I guess your friends might be distancing themselves because they don’t know how to help. Once you get yourself together your friends won’t be keeping you at arms length anymore. You just gotta figure out what’s bothering you and get some help. You’re not wasting space at all. You deserve to be here as much as the next person you’re no better or worse than anyone else. You’re right people who are loved are dying in accidents and from other causes. That’s why life is valuable and precious. If you need to talk to someone we’re all here for you on the forums. This is a safe place to be.

I will never get myself together and I am never invited to anything special. I am just A friend, I am not really important to anyone. I could just vanish and very quickly I would be forgotten. 

I am so broken so that I am being refused diagnosis, which says a lot. 

I don't want to be here anymore. 

I am getting help, but it won't change that I have personality disturbances and sever complex trauma. I am so damaged that I won't ever find love

thank you for your kind words, but life just sucks for me

well, I have been told that I have personality disturbances. Which is so demeaning, but probably just explains why I am so ***** up [edited by moderator]

Awesome answer Catwoman. *Slap*!!

Extra bonus for the concept of being "pathologised"

My box of sharp retorts just got another long "phillps screwdriver"..

I've never understood the term "personality disorders", it seems like a catch all diagnosis for people who are obviously suffering that don't fit into a discrete pigeon hole, like bi-polar for example. Who told you you have '..personality disturbances.'? I was once asked by someone if I thought I had a personality disorder and I told them that after years of therapy, hard work on self development and the money I'd spent on it, it was an expensive personality and I was sticking with it because I like who I am now and if they didn't like me they could go and boil thier head and stop trying to pathologise me.

I've never understood the term "personality disorders", it seems like a catch all diagnosis for people who are obviously suffering that don't fit into a discrete pigeon hole, like bi-polar for example. Who told you you have '..personality disturbances.'? I was once asked by someone if I thought I had a personality disorder and I told them that after years of therapy, hard work on self development and the money I'd spent on it, it was an expensive personality and I was sticking with it because I like who I am now and if they didn't like me they could go and boil thier head and stop trying to pathologise me.

Awesome answer Catwoman. *Slap*!!

Extra bonus for the concept of being "pathologised"

My box of sharp retorts just got another long "phillps screwdriver"..