Published on 12, July, 2020
I was only recently diagnosed a few years ago, and I've been looking back and thinking about things I did when I was a child that were definitely signs of being on the spectrum.
I went through a very intense phase of eating everything with a spork, especially one meal in particular - rye bread with hummus on, topped with a little bit of green Tabasco sauce. This was after my enlightening experience of going to Leeds Festival for my birthday when I was 12 and camping over the weekend, having eaten everything using a spork.
That and eating any noodles or pasta with one of those spinning Pot Noodle forks.... good times. :-)
Looking back, I can realise why my mum definitely thought I was autistic.
I'd love to know if anyone has any similar things that they liked/did that looking back you realise were signs you were autistic.
Ohh I'm the same. Always left feeling like how on earth did I forget lol.
Be careful during the summer with lack of drink. I've been hospitalised way too many times due to lack of fluids and food.
l could do with having that problem for a bit!
Yeah, I'm still very fond of it.
Another thing occurs to me, only because it’s just happened again: I get to the end of the day and realise I haven’t eaten or drunk anything all day.
I've always been like that
Val Aspie said:only recently diagnosed and everything that you say makes sense, i thought that was "normal" but never understood why i felt so different from everybody else
Glad my comment resonates with you!
You have a very long list of examples that could have led to you being identified as autistic at an earlier age.
It’s only after the realisation of our autistic identities that we have the opportunity to reflect on our lives in this way.
By the way, do you know the history of the terms Asperger and Aspie? If not, it is important to be aware of where it comes from. I have linked to an article about the history of these terms below:
Trigger Warning- harm and mistreatment of autistic people:
theautisticadvocate.com/.../
Shardovan said:1981: Noticing I was experiencing my first ear-worm at 3 years old. Heartsong (the Holiday Programme theme) was still going round with perfect recall in a loop having heard it the night before
I just listened to it on YouTube and it gave me goosebumps! An instant warm feeling from deep childhood ️
omg - same!
only recently diagnosed and everything that you say makes sense, i thought that was "normal" but never understood why i felt so different from everybody else
My mum was very much the same with me. I recall being told a few times about going out and getting fresh air and I just wanted to stay in my room where I could breathe and be myself.
That's a lovely thought - if only we could send our younger selves a hug.
That I didn't - although my family is full of autistic people.
My focus was elsewhere. Ah. NOW it makes sense!
And from there, all those things I always thought everyone did - but didn't actually do, or experience.
Same, to the point where my mum got really upset one day saying 'what's wrong with my son?' I took myself off to aimlessly play outside instead, miserable of course due to the feeling of guilt about having seemed lazy. She meant well, and was of course motivated by wanting *me* to feel motivated ( according to the classical definition - 'fresh air an exercise') but it just wasn't in my nature to seek that.
I can think of a few.
Before I can remember: According to my mum, I could be left alone for ages as a toddler - no calling for attention, and hyper-focused on one toy or jigsaw or whatever until another was suggested.
1980: My earliest retained memories at 2 and 3 year old respectively, both coming from telly programmes: the 16th March ep of Rentaghost and 18th Oct ep of Doctor Who. Atypically early and precise compare with the average person I think.
Same year: Hearing 'Carillon' by Sky played on vinyl and registering that I was experiencing a new emotion (pleasantly deep melancholy) for the first time. A lightbulb moment: the right kind of 'sadness' can be nourishing to the soul, even uplifting. That nuance of understanding becoming vividly snapshotted, there and then, in my mind and heart for all time.
1981: Noticing I was experiencing my first ear-worm at 3 years old. Heartsong (the Holiday Programme theme) was still going round with perfect recall in a loop having heard it the night before. Storing the significance of that moment even though it wasn't some big external event, 'just' an 'oh, this is new' - something I suspect the average NT mind wouldn't do.
1984: ripping up a Boss Cat comic and stuffing the resultant shreds deep into each of my ears to drown out the world after being told I couldn't wear my beloved blue anorak outside on a warm day. Having to be taken to casualty to get my ears syringed because the paper was stuffed so deep I was basically deaf and my mum could only do so much with tweezers.
The very next day: Fell off my bike, and went straight back to casualty. The resultant cast was something I kept meticulously clean, even though the established 'cool' thing to do was have classmates write stuff on it. I refused to allow that and only ended up in the entire six weeks with one tiny thing written in pencil by my mum. It was 'mark my words!' - a pun on my name.
1986: Flipping out over the news that the Christmas tree would be in a different part of the house than the established tradition. Remaining inconsolable for hours.
Same year: Having what I now recognise as a mini-meltdown over the overwhelm of an early Christmas present from an aunt requiring performative joy when I wasn't prepared and already feeling burned out.
1989: Faking illness after my first day of secondary school, after getting complete sensory overwhelm and extreme social anxiety. Continuing to fake it until I could no longer get away with it, re-starting too late to every regain lost ground on the comfort or friendships front (even an NT person would have struggled with catching up, but it was way worse for me).
I'm sure others will occur, those are just the ones that most immediately do.
I didn’t like going outside much. I was quite content staying in and doing my own thing.
Looking back I see so many signs that I was autistic.
I used to stare into space, take huge interest in little things that didn't interest anyone else and then I would obsess about it and talk about it for hours later.
The biggest were my lack of eye contact, biting things like chair legs, sensitivity to light and noise, and hating different foods which my mum used to think was me being fussy.
Back then, many mental health professionals had no idea about ASD and just diagnosed kids with childhood schizophrenia. I've seen what happened to them, they ended up completely addicted to happy pills by 12. Thinking about it. the childhood bullying and sensory issues were not so bad, I was the lucky one.In hindsight, there is a big overlap between symptoms of ASD and those of childhood schizophrenia. ASD was pretty much unknown, so the mental health professionals did what they could.
By the way, I had myself tested for the schizophrenia as soon as I could. I would have suicided immediately if it came positive.
Like many others here, noise has been a constant problem in my life. I couldn’t stand eating at the same dinner table as my family or near people at work because the chewing noise made me want to murder them. My dad always had the TV painfully loud. I wore headphones in the house to block out the noise of neighbours. The only meltdowns I’ve ever had - didn’t realise that’s that they were - were caused by noise and my inability to escape from it.
I thought I was just over sensitive or intolerant all my life but now I realise the true cause.
Another big clue was when I joined uni, made no friends and spent all my time lectures, tutorials and lunch times by myself speaking to no one. During this period I read a biography of a scientist and the introductory chapter mentioned that he had the same experience at uni and decided to sit in the refectory and observe people interacting and learn how to speak to people. I thought this was a great idea and did the same, with generally positive results for the rest of my life.
But I still had no idea I was autistic. I’d really like to send younger me a hug.
Edit: oh, and obsessive interests - my childhood was dominated by these.
wasnt autism called childhood schizophrenia at one time?think someone on this site mentioned it before.
I learned to read very early. I had problem speaking and processing spoken words. A school counsellor thought that I had childhood schizophrenia but thankfully my parents did not believe in psychology and ignored it. I also matured sexually some years later than my peers. While my peers were chasing girls and ***, I still had no interest in sex. My peers called me "the monk" or used the f-word (it was permitted back then). I managed to develop normally, but only after some years.
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Caelus said:i think being a writer is a very common big thing.
Yes this is very common in our autistic community.