Everyone I know goes away in the end

  This has been one of the most emotionally challenging things for me my whole life. I have learned to not over-invest at the start. If I have a possible friend it's hard to let the relationship mellow into what it will organically be. I can smother them, or come on too strong.

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In the case of another AS person there is no problem, usually. They are blunt, direct and forgiving, offering guidance as we go as to what they are up for or not. NTs are so hard to read as they skirt around an issue and I am left guessing what's wrong or going well.

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I also learned also by watching tv shows like "Please Like Me" and "As We See It'. I also learned a lot from the book "Look Me In The Eye"

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Another thing that's helped over the years is to realize that if there is a spark with someone the fire will take, if there isn't, then not. It's a simple formula that's helped me not take what feels like rejection personally.

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I am not by nature very outgoing but I have learned to be when I feel a kinship with someone. I am clumsy, yes but I go forth anyway, Some people are meant to come into our lives and we will find them or they will find us.

I would find a group with whom you have a common special interest and start there.

Who knows.......whilst a friend is now leaving your work.....perhaps your future "life partner" is about to fill that vacancy?

I think it is easier for some of us to identify the downside of any given situation (I'm probably one of those people) but I greatly admire those who seem able to immediately see the possible upside of any given situation.  Since I made the concious decision to try and be more of an "upside" type of guy, I have found myself generally manifesting a more happy disposition.

Finding a balance is key, I believe.

How are you doing Amerantin (former member) ?

I have tried in the past but it never seems to work.

This unfortunately is how my life goes too. 

I've had some good friends for a time on and off through life, but people don't try to keep in touch after a while, or I realize that I'm the only one reaching out, stop, and never hear from them again.

I don't know why, because I internalized all of my issues and vent them out of the way, until this last 2 years when I've struggled to keep some out of view of others and have snapped a couple of times, venting verbally in rare moments.

Aw I'm so sorry you were feeling sad last night. I hope you're feeling brighter today.

It is hard when people you know and like leave but unfortunately it is part of life. Keeping in touch is hard, for both sides, life gets busy and sometimes you lose touch.

Sending hugs.

I know the feeling.

Throughout my life, I had brief friendships which didn't last long.

Maybe don't listen to that song, every time it gets to that line I start blubbing :) 

Unfortunately it's very true for me, I can't keep in touch either but it's something more too.

I get quite paranoid and then angry with people which means I drive them away. I am starting to realise that I may be creating these delusions (?) and causing the problem.

Amerantin (former member) said:

I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people so he’ll leave my life just like everyone else I’ve ever known.

You just identified the solution - keep in touch.

You have the power so get over whatever is holding you back and you will find this stops being an issue.

I get the feeling. I've lost people from my life and I wish I knew that I was pushing them away by giving them way too much.

It's frustrating to know how many solid connections I could have had, and I could have formed a support network that worked for me. I still miss those people and I don't really want people telling me I should meet new people - I know it's stubborn but the grief is still there.

I’m sorry. I’m all ears if you need to vent.