A year on.....

Thanks fuzzy. That means alot and well done yourself. Yeah, i get what you mean.....I found abit of a negative vibe on here last time i was on so just took a break...

I hope you get the self harm in check. I know its easier said than done when you are in that mindset.....luckily, i tend not to go there now but in those moments its difficult and fraustrating to not so so...... I wish you all the best and hopefully you find another solution or outlet to express the emotions behind it

Well done!!! What a great achievement in just a year! Really happy to read this today, thanks for sharing.

I've struggled with drink before and it's not an easy thing to stop. You should be really proud of yourself. I managed to kick the drink but still struggling with self harm. Hopefully your inspiring story will help give me the strength.

Last time I was here the forum was quite negative so it's been lovely reading your post. Thanks for making it.

Yeah i got that as well. I wanted to shut my brain down after the day..... i find i ran on adrenaline alot to get thru the day and drank to stop that feeling.......then i would basically burn out and repeat the cycle.....and then it got so i running on empty

I also get that its nice to 'look in the mirror' so to speak coming to places like this. Especially when you think you are a lonely island and think you are the only one in the boat. Its refreshing to see others who have the same issues and struggles......and they can be overcome

Nice to hear your story and glad you are doing well. The booze is a hard one to quit, i think we all or most of us get to the point where it doesnt serve us.......I dont think people also realise the addiction of social media and online places in general. I ditched facebook over 15yrs ago and glad i did. It reminds me of the mirror from harry potter.....millions of people just staring into oblivion lol

I see people getting depressed over how many likes they get and it makes me really sad....

I stay off social media and groups because i can read things the wrong way and get into bother so now, i dont really bother and feel much happier for it. I prefer to engage with 'real' life abit more.

Hi.... Welcome back! :) Really refreshing and positive to read this this morning. I'm really happy for you. Unfortunately most people don't get it but we do so if you're struggling and need support then reach out, from what I've seen there's always a listening ear available here.

Well done r.e. the drinking...not an easy thing to beat. I started heavily drinking over night when my sister died and after years and years of drinking I stopped over night when I realised what I was doing to myself. I was so used to thinking and hearing my thoughts....but the drink stopped my thoughts process and I didn't like it. I got weak a couple of times and drank again but never heavily and now it's been 5+ years since I last had a glass of wine.

Life isn't always easy but there are good times ahead and this is a good community to be part of. 

I'm really glad I found it.

I've also stopped using social media... No more X or Facebook... I feel much happier since I stopped using social media.

#dogtooth  - - - Are you out there brother ?

The vast majority of my self-medication was solo.  I don't (outwardly) struggle in many social situations to be honest - I have found my masks to be very robust, whether drunk or sober.  I mainly drank to kill my brain a bit (or try too.)  The most surprising thing (for me - when I got established sober) was just how very "the same" my life was - drinking or not drinking.  The brain remains.  The issues remain.  Life, remains.  Drunk or sober.  Socially, it can definitely be easier with booze.....or else I can go pretty Zen - which is fine, but not exactly...well, sociable !

Being healthier is a good thing.  Not spending money on mindless booze....is a good thing.

Allowing one's mind to explore sober (with all the horrors that that entails)....is a good thing.

Always being able to drive a care.....is a good thing.

Ego, disguise and alcohol are a dangerous trio, for sure.  They are all very "blinding" conceptions.

NAS is good because it allows rando - autists, to catch a breath together....see a quick flash in the mirror, to remind each other that we're all basically on a similar path in a similar wood.

Sleep well.

Its tough though isnt it? I 100% get what you mean in regards to the drinking. I think i was really kidding myself...... I didnt actually realise that i was masking......even to myself.....

I was basically pretending to be something i wasn't and alcohol was enabling me to be something I didnt want to be......someone i was ashamed of. I just wanted to fit in basically. So when i realised this.....it was quite difficult to process the fact i was hiding from my true self......now, thats a bit of a mind melter haha i often wonder how i did this without myself knowing but......its all trauma for me personally. Just wanting to be 'normal' and i guess alcohol helped me disguise the fact that.....im a bit weird haha but..... im ok with that now. I wasn't and i was kidding myself. Amazing what the ego does to preserve what you think you should be like......

Thanks for your reply. Great to hear people in similar situations 

Excellent to hear your news.  That is all positive Ind - Man.  I am really happy for you.  Great to see someone posting in my language about stuff I get.  Thank you.  Its been a bit "meh" for me at best in NAS recently, but you popping back up with life to report has resonated with me in a positive way.

I feel, very you.  I managed to "bosh the booze" "self-medication" "issue" in a very autistic way.  I stopped.  Very interesting on so many levels, and having a clear head to listen to yourself, is a good thing - albeit rather depressing.  Getting help from others in this regard is difficult if you are autistic (generally) .... but I was lucky and determined.

I stopped drinking when I realised that I was autistic.  I knew I had to do that to take my own thoughts seriously, and reassure others that I knew what I was talking about, with a clear head.  That makes all the difference.  You still have to endure yourself, but with familiarity comes acceptance and calm.

It is encouraging to see us still wanting to share our journeys with each other.  Positive.  Community.

Kindest regards

Number.

I think we are all quite similar in that regard...... drinking helps with social awkwardness doesnt it? Unfortunately you have a bad day or.....a regular day and you seek that dopamine hit......even tho its not good the next day. Hopefully you find a nice understanding person but even if not at the moment. Kick it to the kerb or just cut down a little with the alcohol and see how it goes? Good luck 

You sound quite similar to me. I still do drink a lot but I hide it well now. I have Autism and ADHD, it took a while to get the diagnoses. I'd stop drinking if I could find love...