Friendships - Are they real?

A true Friend is a person who has not heard from you in a while and asks if you are o.k.
Don't be a people-pleaser.
Hang back and see who comes to you.
You can then filter out the " un-needed"
It might be worth sitting down with your Husband and hearing each other out, like a heart to heart.
You both lay your cards on the table.
Am no expert but you both need to talk.
As for others ? Value yourself, you will attract genuine people.
Best wishes.

I've lost a friend due to there behaviour, used me and racked up debt (the former friend opened up a Studio catalogue account); also controlling me. In the end had to end the friendship.

2018-2022 had a pen pal via snail mail which was going fine. Strange that used to send me gifts and money (pen pals don't send this kind of stuff); plus claimed got a chronic health condition (doctor missed diagnosed her); in the end I had to stop writing to her. The reaction was I had my letter torn up, returned to me and said I'd used two hurtful words. Straight away and every year she wants new pen pals (writes an advert on twitter. I don't touch twitter anymore); was absolutely fine on twitter until exchanging messages which didn't want. Think both are unhappy and made mistakes.

2019-2021 taken on another snail mail where was going absolutely fine. Suddenly stopped all letter writing without telling me. Think she was finding it difficult and maybe her carer realised that it's a regular basis. Only had 4 letters, one card and a photo. The pen pal is getting the letters and not responding. 

Absolutely a shame. Sometimes I miss writing letters and stamps are expensive. Plus postman delivery letters to the wrong houses! 

Now got some more reliable ones on this forum. Both private message and email. 

People are confusing.  It tends to be easier to just go along with that they ask. I live in fear of what others think of me. I don't like upsetting people.

Magnolia1 said:

It seems like I initiate all the contact and that they are only friends with me because of what they can get out of me. 

I feel like that with my in-person friends and some online friends too. My neighbor for example, Ive known her for 6years and we are friends but if you look at our texts its just me texting her with it saying "read". Then whenever I ask if she wants to hang out then she says "im busy" "im tired" "I have work" "not today" and somtimes I do see her going to work but most of the time I end up seeing her go out with other friends or she is just talking on the phone while scrolling through snap chat. She does invite me to her band concerts but the whole time I just follow her around as I hold her music so she can practice, hold her sax, record the concert with her phone. 
My other friends do simular things and they like to ditch me the moment a better friend or even just a random person who just seems like more fun comes along.

Im sure not all people are like that though. And your husband wouldnt be your husband if he didnt actually care about you. But I do understand questioning if friendships are real