Overwhelm, fatigue and acceptance

Great to hear you agree, but sad to hear you've been battling burnout for 3+ years now.

The way I explained it in the diagnosis process was that I'm lucky enough to be able to make it a certain way up the ladder without my symptoms / traits getting in the way, and that's afforded me and my family a reasonable lifestyle.

But the higher up the ladder I've tried to get, the more abstract and vague my thinking has to be (e.g. having to design a 3-year strategy for my part of the business, starting with a blank sheet of paper!!) and I simply struggle to deal with the imprecise, "no right / wrong answer" kind of thinking and it leaves me exhausted.

Thank you i will take a look at this. I do feel that my senses are affected including body/skin sensations. I have recognised that i rock my feet and tap my shoulder whilst i am resting. This would be stimming i assume? I also often feel the need to lie on the floor, but i dont always follow this through for obvious reasons, but i lay on the bed instead. Do you think these are signs of overwhelm that shold not be ignored? At 59, are these "symptoms" a sign that i really do need to take nitice and retreat more, x

That is a long time to battle with chronic burnout. Has your life changed a lot as a result? X

Autonomistic said:

There is an interesting section on page 25 of this document, asking if sensory issues change with age or do we tolerate them differently:

Thanks for sharing this document, it is very interesting!

 I personally found page 34&35 very useful as it describes how long it takes for the nervous system to recover after overwhelm. Also the pictures of the brain scans of an autistic vs non autistic brain are very cool, they are just evidence of how much more information we process compared to non autistic people.

I do think this is more common for autists over 50, based purely upon my own experiences and anecdotal evidence here and elsewhere. There is so little research on the effects of aging in autistic adults.

I have commented on another thread today about the importance of listening to your body. If it is telling you to slow down and rest then that is what it needs. There is a time for acceptance and the realisation that pushing yourself is not always in your own best interests.

I have experienced burnout and regression and I look back in wonder at what I used to be able to achieve. My sensory sensitivities have increased in recent years too. There is an interesting section on page 25 of this document, asking if sensory issues change with age or do we tolerate them differently:

https://www.ndti.org.uk/assets/files/Its-not-rocket-science-V6.pdf

There is a graph showing lifetime sensory resilience trajectory peaking in adulthood and then declining as we age. The report states: 

"Resilience is built during all childhood and diminishes in ageing in all people – irrespective of neurodivergence. The problem autistic people have is the difference in sensory input."

This happened to me in December 2020 and I've been battling chronic burnout ever since, but I'm not giving in yet.

However....

NAS91003 said:

I'm currently re-evaluating what I want to get from life - diagnosed just before I hit 40, I've spent the last however many years telling myself that promotions, payrises and the general capitalist way of living is the way to measure success, but recently placing a lot more emphasis on happiness. 

I agree with this so much. I've focussed so much on my career and I have done incredibly well by any normal measure, but it really hasn't brought me happiness. I'd happily take a 50% pay cut in exchange for a partner and a circle of friends (I don't mean buying them, you know what I mean). I need to start focussing more on my personal life and on myself and less on a corporate ladder that you can never reach the top of anyway.

Sounds similar to what hit me in December Tulip, albeit it sounds like you're experiencing it worse than I did. It wasn't that I *couldn't* do things, just had zero motivation or desire to do them, no matter how much I knew they were necessary (e.g. employment).

First things first - be kind to yourself and don't feel guilty or embarrassed about it. I've always lived by the mantra "whatever you feel is not wrong"; no-one can ever tell you your feelings aren't correct.

I'm currently re-evaluating what I want to get from life - diagnosed just before I hit 40, I've spent the last however many years telling myself that promotions, payrises and the general capitalist way of living is the way to measure success, but recently placing a lot more emphasis on happiness.  So if, for you, that's a day in bed, so be it!

Hope you find a route out soon, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.