Failed at work


I'm new here. I was finally given a shot at work, I managed 2 weeks, five days and now I'm burnt out and feeling our rubbish mentally and physically. I feel like a failure.

The annoying thing is I really enjoyed working but the effects it has caused is almost unbearable. My anxiety is awful. My mental health is triggered and I'm struggling to sleep again and feel tired all the time.

My boss has asked me a few times when I'll be back and I don't know when or if I will. My gut tells me I'm not going to go back again... My anxiety can't take it.

  • ive had this with every job ive ever had, i even get to the point where i am comfortable and it is routine, yet still burnout and have such a severe breakdown that i cant work anymore. its like i cant do anything but survive

  • "It is not weakness to stop doing things you know you can't do, it is strength".

    That is going to help me a lot, thank you. I didn't work for over 4 years while I was struggling with anxiety. and also waiting for my autism assessment and diagnosis. I then took a job working 40 hours a week, which was way too many for me. I reduced it to 32, and I'm thinking of asking to cut down to 24 as I'm exhausted at the end of each working day and my days off are recovery days. I was feeling negative about asking to reduce my hours, but your comment has made me think it is a positive thing to do, many thanks.

  • I have taken some time to think about a response to your post. 

    Personally, work has always been the most difficult thing for me and the thing I struggle with the most. I have had over 40 jobs in my life and I am only in my mid 30s. Work has made me more mentally ill than almost anything else. However, it has also given me a few good times and a few good, if not long lasting, friendships. 

    I can really relate to your feelling that you actually enjoy the job but the effects it has on you are almost unbearable. That is the contradiction I struggle with too. I want to work but after working I am so burned out and ill that I am no good for anything or anyone else. 

    My thoughts for you are that if you can work, do. It takes your mind off things and gives you routine and structure to your day. 
    However, if you know in your gut that you can't do it, then don't force yourself to or you will make yourself more ill. It is not weakness to stop doing things you know you can't do, it is strength.

    Either way I hope you find a solution to this, thinking of you

  • a thing i learned is to force myself to stay despite the urge to quit. 
    i always have that urge to quit anything quite alot. but i develop and get good things if i beat that urge and stay. i found that by forcing myself to stay in martial arts despite the murderous insane fitness that even after years of it still made me groggy and almost pass out at each lesson. but staying despite wanting to quit always has been good for me and key to advancing in anything.

    if you can beat the initial quit wave it eventually passes and normalises your position. it does help you like the work, with me at my work i hated alot of the work as it was too much and the bosses were douches, so i had this urge to quit ongoing, constantly having to beat it back. i guess life is a fight against yourself, you beat yourself and this urge to quit and live constantly at that point and you can get through anything.

  • It must feel very conflicting. You enjoy the job but it's basically killing you.

    Two years ago, I worked a rather intense job for 13 weeks. I was struggling really badly for 12 of them, and I didn't say anything to anyone (like a boss or anything). As soon as the initial novelty wore off I began struggling, I was all over the place mentally.

    I'm telling you that to ensure that you don't let that happen to you. I hope you have a supportive boss.

  • Thanks. I give up too easily at every hurdle, it's a habit I've got in to and I need to stop letting anxiety rule my life and ruin everything for me. The days I worked were successful, but then I was wrecked after really tired and hardly able to function.

    My boss is at least very understanding. I've not gone in a few days and let her down but she's been supportive and said to let her know when I can go back in. I'm lucky from that regard.

  • The first few weeks of any job is awful, for everyone. You feel like such a clueless outsider. But once you get used to the routine and things become familiar it gets better. If not, then yes, leave. But try to give it another go, one day at a time, speak to your boss so you get some encouragement and support, and congratulate yourself at the end of the day for one tiny thing that doesn't feel horrendous.

    Good luck.