Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm new here. I was finally given a shot at work, I managed 2 weeks, five days and now I'm burnt out and feeling our rubbish mentally and physically. I feel like a failure.
The annoying thing is I really enjoyed working but the effects it has caused is almost unbearable. My anxiety is awful. My mental health is triggered and I'm struggling to sleep again and feel tired all the time.
My boss has asked me a few times when I'll be back and I don't know when or if I will. My gut tells me I'm not going to go back again... My anxiety can't take it.
I have taken some time to think about a response to your post.
Personally, work has always been the most difficult thing for me and the thing I struggle with the most. I have had over 40 jobs in my life and I am only in my mid 30s. Work has made me more mentally ill than almost anything else. However, it has also given me a few good times and a few good, if not long lasting, friendships.
I can really relate to your feelling that you actually enjoy the job but the effects it has on you are almost unbearable. That is the contradiction I struggle with too. I want to work but after working I am so burned out and ill that I am no good for anything or anyone else.
My thoughts for you are that if you can work, do. It takes your mind off things and gives you routine and structure to your day. However, if you know in your gut that you can't do it, then don't force yourself to or you will make yourself more ill. It is not weakness to stop doing things you know you can't do, it is strength.
Either way I hope you find a solution to this, thinking of you
"It is not weakness to stop doing things you know you can't do, it is strength".
That is going to help me a lot, thank you. I didn't work for over 4 years while I was struggling with anxiety. and also waiting for my autism assessment and diagnosis. I then took a job working 40 hours a week, which was way too many for me. I reduced it to 32, and I'm thinking of asking to cut down to 24 as I'm exhausted at the end of each working day and my days off are recovery days. I was feeling negative about asking to reduce my hours, but your comment has made me think it is a positive thing to do, many thanks.