Communication Differences.

A problem I have with communication is I have to raise my voice to actually be heard, then im asked why am I shouting.

These might be helpful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOiB5WreR0k, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ-wCP4tjrg . I haven't watched them but the title looks like it could be helpful.

Yes of course, there are numerous but here is a good one:

https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/

Here is a video about the Double Empathy Problem if you prefer learning in that format:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qpXwYD9bGyU

Hi, can you add the link for double empathy?

Somebody said:

need people to be precise otherwise miscommunication occurs, usually resulting in me getting told to listen carefully which I think is a bit unfair.

Yes this is definitely unfair, communication is a two way process, hence the Double Empathy Problem!

Communication is a difficult one for me as well. I need people to be precise otherwise miscommunication occurs, usually resulting in me getting told to listen carefully which I think is a bit unfair.

Speaking clearly is key and explanations as well. The only person who explains herself properly is my Mum, she really tries and is understanding and supportive of my difficulties.

As my mother excels at dropping hints, I feel I've become something of an expert at recognising them. This isn't to say that I respond to them though. Aside from me needing to be interested in whatever it is that she's dropping hints about, I am trying to get her to understand that she needs to express herself more clearly.

I'm in agreement with you Roy that it would have been helpful if your wife had been clearer with you, as opposed to assuming you would know what she meant.

Roy said:

I know I most probably sound boring, it just made me realise how neurotypical people talk in riddles and don’t just say what they want.

Absolutely!

I do understand that, my brain is always busy and then I get a text or any other sort of message. My answer span can be 4 seconds to 4 months, there’s no written rule.

Thanks man, seeing that there’s been a few ripples made me feel guilty, which in turn made my brain think a thought or two..:’D

Sometimes I am perfectly available to make a social interaction, but someone makes the mistake of giving me the ultimatum before the conversation, so my mind it exhausted before we’ve even begun. I don’t hear a word they say once my chaos-capacity is full..:’D

I think that’s it, I’m different from my previous 50+ years. I’m massively different from the person they know.  Trying to explain isn’t the easiest thing for me, yet I can explain easily here with my own kind.x

Exactly! So maybe we are no longer who we used to be. We are now more true to ourselves and put our own needs and interests first, maybe in a curious way. I dont understand who i am or where i have been all my life, but im getting better. But you dont want drama for being you, maybe best to talk about it. Its a lot to get our heads around. We dont want to always question our own actions and behaviour. We want to be ourselves, which takes us back to masking. To be ourselves. 

I hear what’s said to me, but brain is always busy with something else. ( really nice to see you back) 

I just find I’m being told that there are so many things ‘ I used to enjoy’ and now to be honest, I never did. It was easier to just mask and blend in.  I’m in my mid fifties and never knew until 2 years ago, anything about autism, I try to explain in bite size pieces, the unmasking is so difficult. I still don’t fully understand who I am. 

Maybe we have different expectations. Maybe we ND are more precise, articulate or maybe im talking rubbish, but im noticing that we are some of the nicest, genuine, kindest, honest people i know x

I’m okay with spoken-rhetoric and am quite a force when the interest is there, less so if interest is not there, the issue arises where I am expected to absorb any spoken-declarations. So I prefer to have things written, if only to have time to construct an argument and hold myself to account, I don’t absorb a single thing that people verbalise at me..:’D

Thank you, I’m thinking of buying a crystal ball! Just tell me, don’t hint.

I wonder if we just communicate on different wave lengths.

Exactly, please say what you want. I say it as it is, to the point. I like others to be the same. Too many people talk in riddles, are ungenuine, two faced. I dont like it. We cant read minds, well not all the time, just sometimes ️

i communicate more by written. verbally im quiet. written i never shut up and can write essays.

so i appear to be 2 different people at times as knowing me in person you know a quiet person and probably dont know my mind. knowing me in writing you can likely get more deeper into my mind and perhaps then not like me or see me as different to how you saw me in person. in writing too i dont care about peoples social bullshit, its pure logic and fact and that usually hurts people or offends people, they dont get my writing. its not meant to be offensive but people see it as that. i think because im super truthful too and in writing a load of hurtful truth can come out, but i see a hurtful truth as a constructive truth and a kindness as they can better themselves off true honesty. and some things are just totally misunderstood as attacks, i dunno i sometimes also state every opinion even bad opinions but they are not mine im just stating that they exist and then people think those bad opinions are mine but i was just acknowledging and listing all opinions on that certain subject and not stating my own personal opinion. most times im opinion fluid lol i see all opinions and see the logic and truth in all and so can sway between each one, neither is right or wrong they all have their merits it depends what merit i want at the time.