Returning To Work After Diagnosis

Sorry, but you won’t last very long in any job if you can’t take account of your coworkers feelings. Even if there are issues with their work you have to communicate it in a humane manner.

Your last few posts have been very absolute and internally focused and I really worry that you’re going to massively harm yourself if you take that attitude back to work.

Sorry if this comes across as getting at you, I really am trying to help you.

True, but they will have to become interested as what I do often has an impact on what they do.

If they are producing sub-standard work, then I will not let it go through the checks and measures for which I am responsible. This has always been my MO, but I have been seen as the bad guy in the past, Our manager has seemed to be more interested in maintaining a good team "dynamic" instead of being concerned about the quality of work.

Plain and simple - I will not (cannot) drop my standards. They need to improve what they are doing and stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy or disruptor.

I think the key point that has to be understood - and I’ve seen many autistic bloggers make the same point - is that although diagnosis is a massive thing for us, the majority of other people simply will not be interested in any way.

I am 52, I am a registered Social Worker, with Social Work England and work for the Office of the Public Guardian.  None of these organisations knew about any of this.  I guess I am an absolute expert at masking.  But you know what!!  I thought well since my diagnosis on 2nd Oct, I feel different about myself, I recognise things about myself and can put understanding towards that.  At the end of the day I have come to recognise that 'This me', not just with Autism, Dyslexia, OCD, but the whole me.  So people need to understand that.  I am not asking for people to bend over backwards to treat me in a way that is preferential, but to recognise my differences.  I think that is how you should be towards this.  I am not asking you to feel or do, but just to ease that pressure of disclosure, which is not an easy thing to do.  I have told all these organisaitons and the support I am getting is fantastic.  I have come to realise that I am this way and have always been, it does not take a piece of paper with a diagnosis to tell me that, but gives me an explanation of why I am a certain way and filled in the blanks.

Let's not forget the Equality Act and organisations, where reasonable have to make adjustments.

You might find when you do go back to work, the routine will start and perhaps that will be a little bit better.  It can be difficult being at home, as the mind starts wondering etc.

Sorry you have to go through all that.  Perhaps sit down with your manage to discuss it.  As long as the people are not being discriminatory, but acting different, just leave them to it.  As they would not have been great colleagues in the first place.

Totally agree, it is their problem and not yours.  There are legal obligations and procedures to follow.  So I would be with you, if people are like that they can frig off to be honest. 

I am fortunate in that both my line manager and HR have so far been very supportive and understanding - even for some time pre-diagnosis as I made them fully aware of everything that is going on with my health.

Having said that, I guess that they have a legal obligation to be supportive....to a certain extent.

It is an awful shame that you appear to have been ostracised by your co-workers. For me though, I couldn't care any less if they did the same to me. As long as they are professional and capable of doing their job, then that's fine with me (although I do doubt the latter quality at times). However, if their attitude / behaviour had even the slightest hint of discrimination, then that would be a completely different matter (probably a legal matter at that).

What my co-workers need to understand is that I am "wired differently" to their NT brains. They need to know and accept that I WILL notice and call out mistakes. Part of my role involves peer reviewing & QA'ing their work and that I am extremely thorough. If errors (bugs) get through to the customer, then its not going to look good on any of us!

If they can start to understand where "I am coming from" and that I am not attacking them personally, then maybe they can concentrate more on doing a better job rather than feeling "butt hurt" (apologies for such a crass term) when their output comes under scrutiny. 

I don’t want to throw a spanner in your works but I would advise caution about who you disclose your diagnosis to and how you do it.

I was diagnosed in the summer and I wanted to be completely open about it and share it with those I work with, with the goal of slightly reshaping how I work.

My line management have actually been quite good about it and have given me space to figure it out, but unfortunately the co-workers I shared it with - people I have been very friendly with for many years - all distanced themselves from me immediately.

The sad truth is nobody wants to know about it or make any kind of accommodation for it.