Struggling…

Agreed there's always hope and things do get better with time

But time can be a slow healer..... but it does heal.

Please take care of yourself and don't give up because you will get through this hard time.

We're all here for you :) 

Evening Allie.

I know this sounds a bit daft.....but you did ask for ANY advice at all.....and I am a veteran of some pretty monumental burnouts.

My advice = FORWARD MOTION.

Walking forward, or being driven forward (in a car, bus, train) or cycling......lifted my mood....and with a lifted mood, you can often achieve just a few wee small things.....and when you manage to achieve a few wee small things, you feel encouraged, and that lifts your mood a little more etc etc.  It can start a minor positive feedback loop, in my experience.

I found my burnouts to feel like a seemingly endless cycle of awfulness...precisely as you have described above, although the most resonant words for me are "have no interest in doing anything at all."  I found that, it was worth FORCING myself to move physically forward because that seemed to jump-start my brain into some nominal form of life.

It all takes a lot of time in my experience.  Don't bully yourself or frustrate yourself by trying to do too much all at once.  Build back up to functionality carefully and gently.  Time is the biggest healer from burnout......in my opinion.

NEVER loose hope.  Hope springs eternal.  Things WILL improve.  Be patient.

Well, I (well, I guess we!) are telling you that you deserve to rest! If nothing else I hope you're able to accept that. I have that mindset too so I understand what must be going through your head.

I would definitely recommend a therapist who is more autism friendly. Someone who will be able to work with you in terms of, I guess, understanding the real you. I feel you really need that right now. 

If you can, I'd definitely reduce the pressure you put on yourself. I realised I was doing that a lot too and it didn't do me much good.

Maybe make a list of the things that make you the happiest on a good day, and max them out so to speak? These are just suggestions of course.

I'm glad you feel better. I really appreciate getting to know you too. 

Thank you, Iain!

I’ve read a lot about resting. I know that’s what I need, but there’s this ableist inner monologue that I have just for myself that tells me I don’t deserve to rest. I should be productive and successful at all times. I know it’s making me feel worse. I don’t understand it, I don’t think this way about anyone else, just myself. It’s horrible :/

Thanks for the advice, I’ll try anything at this point x

Thank you! 
I’m trying to be kind to myself but it’s difficult :( 

I definitely feel better since I discovered this community but sometimes I don’t even have to strength to pick up my phone! 

I really appreciate everyone here x 

Allie🖤 said:

I’m tired, but can’t sleep. I can barely talk, stumbling over my words constantly. No interest in doing anything at all. My body aches and I’m a zombie, no emotions, like I’m a robot. 

Sorry to hear that Allie - our thoughts are with you.

On a practical note - I found in these situaitons that the best way to deal with it at this stage is to withdraw from the world for a bit, medicate to get some sleep to let my body catch up from the prolonged stress and then have a few days of really low requirements.

I would stock up on some basics so I didn't need to leave the house or even do much cooking (fresh fruit like apples and oranges are good for this), curl up somewhere and focus on my breathing.

For stimulation I would put some fairly low focus requirement films on the TV and lie on the couch and let it wash over me (faitly low volume) until I felt able to get up and eat, go to the bathroom, shower or whatever and try to do a few bits of housework then before retreating again to the sofa.

Over a few days the energy starts to return and I could chose to do something different that I enjoyed - all at a slow pace and only when I felt ready for them.

For the medication I found antihystimines are great for sending me to sleep and low risk - plus they helped me sleep through the night. No medical advice intended of course.

Hang in there - it does pass.

I'm so sorry you're struggling so badly, you know you can send me a message anytime.

I know how you feel about the lack of emotions. I haven't cried properly in nearly 2 years cos I've become numb to everything. I can let out a tear here and there but not much more than that.

Yeah I've tried a lot of those suggested things with regards to burnout but it's not easy. My first suggestion would be to be as kind to yourself as you can, but I know even that can be difficult sometimes.

This forum is here for you if you need our help, and I'd like to think talking about it would help you a bit. It's better than keeping everything bottled up.

So yeah. You're not alone.