Dealing with negativity

Do you think that if you wrote things out for them it'd be easier or do you think they wouldn't listen?

I feel you on that struggle. 

I definitely need to work on my boundaries! I wish I could stand up for myself more but it never seems to make any difference, I’m also terrified of conflict. I love my family but they’re so difficult :(

You are very welcome! You should be proud of your autistic identity and not have to deal with this!

Allie🖤 said:

but sometimes those words really cut deep

I completely understand why, your feelings are absolutely valid. I hope this autistic community can provide you with some much needed positivity and humour (questionable!) I hope we can help improve your mood.

What are your dedicated interests?

I'm so sorry you're treated this way. It can't be easy and it's more than understandable you feel this way. I'm not treated nicely in my house, I am often commented on and used by those around me. People can be selfish and don't realise how hurtful they can be. It used to affect me greatly but now I'm numb to other people's cruelness. You aren't too sensitive, they are insensitive for not listening to you and treating you this way.

I'm sorry you're having to listen to that. It's not as bad as using the r word thankfully but I do feel the same level of lack of understanding from my family. I feel like a nuisance.

You're not too sensitive. Setting your own boundaries is likely a difficult thing for all of us, I struggle with it too.

The best thing I do at the moment is remove myself from the situation if I can. I've often considered getting an advocate because it requires too much mental energy to do it myself. Maybe that's an option? 

I had a friend help me with a guide to share with my parents, that could be an option too?

I am looking for a local group I can socialise in :)

Thank you! I usually spend most of my time alone and they wonder why… I am proud to be autistic but sometimes those words really cut deep

Good afternoon,

I had comments about I ought to find a job or on my own most of the time. 

This is a safe space. My life has been difficult and found a group (I go to the ones like doing); unfortunately I live in a small community and be careful what to say. Rumours and gossip spreads fast. COVID is returning.

Allie🖤 said:

The past few days have been extremely difficult for me. I’ve had to listen to various family members using the R-word and talk negatively about autistic adults. It seems to slip their mind that I’m autistic and standing right in front of them.

Hello Allie

I am sorry you are having to deal with this situation, it is very disrespectful and offensive for them to use that language.

I am not sure what advice to give to you, but just so you know we are here for you and I hope you feel comfortable in this autistic community.

Allie🖤 said:

Am I too sensitive? 

Not at all! That word is extremely hurtful and you have every right to be offended by its use, I would be too!

You don’t deserve to be in a situation where others are usually horrible language like that. Maybe you can spend some time alone, hyper focus on your interests to block out the negativity or go out for a walk?

 I hope you can find a safe space where you can be openly autistic! You deserve it!