God Bless everybody. Thanks Mods. Thanks to those who replied to me. I do not deserve to be here.

Former Member  - I really hope this is the booze talking.

Maybe I have read too much into your post, but I am currently feeling rather worried and concerned about you. 

So much for being the funny idiot on NAS huh ?
I can't do it anymore.
I am just a fake.
I tell jokes and  people laugh.
I dont.
I fake it.
There is something wrong with me.
I KNOW it but community Mental Health have no bloody clue, even when i tell them !
Dont quote me on this but sometimes i feel like going out there and doing a F.....g Columbine !
You are right, i am pissed.
I Have kept it together before, 
My reality is distorted.
Booze is the issue that strips me of my barriers.
Suppose you will report me know huh? 

I do remember you telling me way back last year that your tendency to joke was a mask to hide how you were really feeling. 

You are not the first on here to do that, and I doubt you will be the last.

I feel desperately sorry for you that you don't feel Community Mental Health are truly hearing what you've been trying to tell them, and aren't taking you seriously.

For the record, I have absolutely no intention of reporting you, as you have not done anything wrong.

It isn't my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but if you stick around, maybe we (the rest of the community) can help you to feel less alone, and maybe offer some useful suggestions that you might not have previously considered.

I wish I could work as fast as I think......especially at this time of night.  Wanna go to sleep, but the light is perfect at this time of night !

I wish I could work as fast as I think......especially at this time of night.  Wanna go to sleep, but the light is perfect at this time of night !