Published on 12, July, 2020
Im off for the summer now and really struggling in that I've been in a complete state of inertia for nearly a week. What's also in the mix is a chronic fatigue-like health scenario. Sometimes the boundaries are blurred but if I were to put my finger on it, I'd say this is more AS related because I've been here time and again. I can't get going with anything for love nor money. I've got plenty of things to be doing but can't start and don't know how to. I need a project to get my teeth into (of which is covered on the "things to be doing") but in my head I know it won't get finished if I start. I'm resorting to engaging with an interest but I've reached peak saturation on that. I'm flim flamming around and haven't got the attention to stick to anything (which I don't know if this is CFS related but I've experienced this before although it seems to be worse now). I don't know if I'm in some sort of emotional burnout because I haven't experienced this stuckness for quite a while. What also adds is a sense that - I can't tell what my expectations of myself should be. When the fatigue is really thick, I know how to pace, but when I'm in this middle ground I don't know what to do but I see this more as autistic inertia. It's also the fact that I see others are able to structure their time off but I can't and I don't know if I'm putting pressure on myself to be a certain way. I've asked for help with one thing and with other things could do with a bit of "shadowing" to motivate me but the obvious person to ask is busy working more than me and has their own stuff to do.
Hey there! Learning Spanish is a journey, and I totally get the struggle with resetting accounts on Babbel. But don't worry, there are plenty of language apps out there!
It's interesting to see your response as I feel somewhat different. It isn't expectation from others but expectation from myself.
Out of interest - how do you "relax into it"?
This one has come after a period of rest. Vacation periods are restful and restorative. It isn't restful and I am not enjoying it. I need a level stimulation now but i haven't been able to engage in any thing with meaning. Thought meeting friends would give me the needed boost but it didn't. I WANT to be productive. Not in the sense of having anything in particular to show for it but just not feeling vacant in the head for another day running. Grinding against my own gears.
Today is a new day so will see what develops.
I go into these too. I call them "fallow" periods. I honor them. Some may disagree but, for me they are delicious.
Relax into them - and they pass more quickly. They are like vacations.
It is, for me, a result of overload on a project, or external pressure.
If you live near the ocean abiding with waves might be helpful. It does for me.
In a "fallow" I don't want to talk with anyone or have to be productive for show.
Most activity these days feels performance based, appearing "productive", showing something for some effort, something to "show "for myself, to be "seen" to have done something.
The fallow periods pass when I have truly let go of what others expect of me.
I find myself getting up, then, with an itch to create, getting that inner joy of creating and just getting on with it; up and at 'em in a click.
My longest "fallow" lasted a 10 or so days.
I hope this helps.
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP TODAY. It means the world and you're all brilliant humans. This is when this place is at its best - when we help and support each other.
Peace & love to you all.
My name's Captain Birdseye and I'm out.
It’s a hard sell I know, but it’ll work in a Tench..
Now I'm floundering
Oh Grou(-per) up will you..!
Now Debbie's musselling in
Don't get crabby.
I think you'll find that's COLEY Joel Osment
Who knew inertia could be such fun.
You've put me in my plaice
For me this thread has marked my every conscious moment today, I woke up, I’ve stared at it for 13 hours, and I’ll go to sleep. I feel like Haley Joel Osment, in the movie AI, where he gets to spent one day doing what he loves, so he enjoys the hell of out it, then he goes to sleep..
Its like the movie homeward bound, but with salmon, or in our case pollock..
100 metres in water.
Less on land.
What's a salmon run!?
You know this thread started off about inertia, but it’s completely the opposite now, now it’s all salmon-runs and good-vibes..
We did it!!
I took advice and did a screenshot, that's how I posted my flowers above but it did take a few attempts. If I want to comment I'll do it via here!
Speaking of the art issue that shall not be named, I have no clue have to fix it, so far a I know, number is the only one who has..
Additonally I have no clue how to get you back on that thread..