Published on 12, July, 2020
Im off for the summer now and really struggling in that I've been in a complete state of inertia for nearly a week. What's also in the mix is a chronic fatigue-like health scenario. Sometimes the boundaries are blurred but if I were to put my finger on it, I'd say this is more AS related because I've been here time and again. I can't get going with anything for love nor money. I've got plenty of things to be doing but can't start and don't know how to. I need a project to get my teeth into (of which is covered on the "things to be doing") but in my head I know it won't get finished if I start. I'm resorting to engaging with an interest but I've reached peak saturation on that. I'm flim flamming around and haven't got the attention to stick to anything (which I don't know if this is CFS related but I've experienced this before although it seems to be worse now). I don't know if I'm in some sort of emotional burnout because I haven't experienced this stuckness for quite a while. What also adds is a sense that - I can't tell what my expectations of myself should be. When the fatigue is really thick, I know how to pace, but when I'm in this middle ground I don't know what to do but I see this more as autistic inertia. It's also the fact that I see others are able to structure their time off but I can't and I don't know if I'm putting pressure on myself to be a certain way. I've asked for help with one thing and with other things could do with a bit of "shadowing" to motivate me but the obvious person to ask is busy working more than me and has their own stuff to do.
I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to add BUT I did just want to say that I really enjoyed the use of "Flim Flamming" that really made me chuckle. I will work to build this into my vocabulary because I really like it. Very satisfying words.
I'm the queen of the flim flammers
You are a wise and an astute queen. Rare, and impressive........and comforting - flim flam or otherwise. Forgive me.....but I am comforted when I see people whom I admire, struggle as I do, and aren't afraid to share. Thank you.
Calm and steady.....don't be too critical of yourself. Look at the calendar - it should be no surprise that you feel a little bit at sea at the moment - enjoy bobbing around (if you can) - some ferocious wind or current of desperate drive will inevitably catch your sails soon enough. At that point, you'll be worrying that your focus has become too intense!
I think our lives and emotions and capabilities are cyclical . . . Just allow your wheel to spin under it's own momentum for a while. We know it comes good again soon enough.
splatter party!
My name's Captain Birdseye and I'm out.
It’s a hard sell I know, but it’ll work in a Tench..
Now I'm floundering
Oh Grou(-per) up will you..!
Now Debbie's musselling in
Don't get crabby.
I think you'll find that's COLEY Joel Osment
Who knew inertia could be such fun.
You've put me in my plaice
For me this thread has marked my every conscious moment today, I woke up, I’ve stared at it for 13 hours, and I’ll go to sleep. I feel like Haley Joel Osment, in the movie AI, where he gets to spent one day doing what he loves, so he enjoys the hell of out it, then he goes to sleep..