Published on 12, July, 2020
Im off for the summer now and really struggling in that I've been in a complete state of inertia for nearly a week. What's also in the mix is a chronic fatigue-like health scenario. Sometimes the boundaries are blurred but if I were to put my finger on it, I'd say this is more AS related because I've been here time and again. I can't get going with anything for love nor money. I've got plenty of things to be doing but can't start and don't know how to. I need a project to get my teeth into (of which is covered on the "things to be doing") but in my head I know it won't get finished if I start. I'm resorting to engaging with an interest but I've reached peak saturation on that. I'm flim flamming around and haven't got the attention to stick to anything (which I don't know if this is CFS related but I've experienced this before although it seems to be worse now). I don't know if I'm in some sort of emotional burnout because I haven't experienced this stuckness for quite a while. What also adds is a sense that - I can't tell what my expectations of myself should be. When the fatigue is really thick, I know how to pace, but when I'm in this middle ground I don't know what to do but I see this more as autistic inertia. It's also the fact that I see others are able to structure their time off but I can't and I don't know if I'm putting pressure on myself to be a certain way. I've asked for help with one thing and with other things could do with a bit of "shadowing" to motivate me but the obvious person to ask is busy working more than me and has their own stuff to do.
I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to add BUT I did just want to say that I really enjoyed the use of "Flim Flamming" that really made me chuckle. I will work to build this into my vocabulary because I really like it. Very satisfying words.
I'm the queen of the flim flammers
You are a wise and an astute queen. Rare, and impressive........and comforting - flim flam or otherwise. Forgive me.....but I am comforted when I see people whom I admire, struggle as I do, and aren't afraid to share. Thank you.
Calm and steady.....don't be too critical of yourself. Look at the calendar - it should be no surprise that you feel a little bit at sea at the moment - enjoy bobbing around (if you can) - some ferocious wind or current of desperate drive will inevitably catch your sails soon enough. At that point, you'll be worrying that your focus has become too intense!
I think our lives and emotions and capabilities are cyclical . . . Just allow your wheel to spin under it's own momentum for a while. We know it comes good again soon enough.
splatter party!
My name's Captain Birdseye and I'm out.
It’s a hard sell I know, but it’ll work in a Tench..
Now I'm floundering
Oh Grou(-per) up will you..!
Now Debbie's musselling in
Don't get crabby.
I think you'll find that's COLEY Joel Osment
Who knew inertia could be such fun.
You've put me in my plaice