The Thinking Literally thread

I've already shared this on another thread, but I have got better at recognising sarcasm, but it all disappears when I am stressed. My wife invited a neighbour in at really short notice (panic stations!) several days ago when we were looking after the dog. The neighbour said something like, "I bet that you hate having to take her for walks and look after her!" (Can't remember exactly words). And I said, almost hurt for the dog, "No! I love it!".

It wasn't until she'd gone that I realised she was being sarcastic (in a friendly way) And I probably looked a little daft.

My husband plays guitar and every time he packs up to leave for a practice with friends he says, oh no wheres the tuna? I always think he's looking for a fish   (tuner) weird how it's gets me over and over...

Almost xD there were piles of papers on both desks and everything was just a mess. But a week after hiring me the boss ordered my manager to renovate the office so it wouldn't scare people anymore. I also helped with that and had fun doing it

Alien0n3arth said:

a woman is missing here!

I thought it was SO messy that a woman was buried under the mess.

It was an interview in my current job. After some short conversation with the boss in his office he asked me if i would like to see the warehouse. I eagerly agreed and we went to the back side of the huge hardware store and there was a warehouse with the office fir logistics (where I work). The boss pointed with his finger the office which was messy at that time, and he said "a woman is missing here!" I thought we were waiting for some lady to come so I asked him if we are waiting for her. He started laughing and explained that he wants to hire a woman here to have it in order. 

I was ashamed and thought that I already lost it for being dump, but it turned out the same day he took his decision and hired me. One water leak "served" me that day - by noticing and reporting it to him I  for sure earned some extra points. And I'm not the only one keeping it in order, my colleagues also got a motivation to stop behaving like cave men. 

Shardovan said:

bib-bopping along

Lovely!

That's brilliant. 

It always catches me out when parents (usually mothers) refer to their offspring as their 'baby'. I automatically assume they are referring to a child below the age of 2, even though they may well be referring to an adult. 

First example I can recall:

I was 5y.o. My mom sent me to the kitchen to 'check if water for pasta began boiling'. I got there and found out I am not tall enough to see surface of water in a pot. Because I couldn't see bubbling water I came up with next brilliant idea and stuck my hand in water. It still wasn't good enough because I realised I can't tell if it's hot enough or no. So, when I was thinking with my hand in a pot, my mom came to the kitchen looking for me and to check water as I was gone a while. I'll never forget her face at that moment.

Combined power of literal thinking and being a very naughty boy causing endless trouble

When I played football, I had an advantage over opponents. I would run into open space -  something which took them by surprise because they were surely expecting a more considered, artful or sophisticated play by me. But my thinking was so limited & literal that I just did what was obvious (to me); I had no awareness at that moment whether this move might leave opponents flat-footed or not. I was no great footballing talent, for sure, but there were definite advantages to my unusual thinking. However, having too narrow a focus is certainly not the exclusive province of the autist.

i got really confused in musical composition by pieces  composed for ‘tape’.  I saw an image of ‘cassette tape’ in my mind - literally a tape - but I think they were just using the word for any recorded material.  Maybe the word ‘tape’ is used associatively not literally but I can’t be certain. Sometimes I am baffled by a seeming ‘club’ of people who have no problem with interpreting language.  I suspect there are upsides to literalism: for example. it’s a shortcut to lateral thinking. 

P.S. u r not a twit

Aw, thanks Simon! Easy to return the compliment, you're always so thoughtful and encouraging people on here.

If a twit like me can easily see the good in you then, rest assured, it must be as visible as a massive fireworks display for non-twits. 

I think it depends on the person in my case. To some, I give off an 'innocent abroad' vibe to the point where I've had things it would be impossible for me not to know by now condescendingly explained to me by younger people. To others - maybe the more preceptive - they see the complex and troubled soul within, even if they hopefully still see mostly goodness in me. I hope! I suspect it's mainly NT people in group one, and the neurodivergent in group two. 

This sort of incident has happened to me a number of times. There is something about me that makes certain folks near-instantly realise that I can be fooled. This probable fact, though, doesn't actually make me blame myself: for all my occasional foolishness, it's *their* fault for being so needlessly unkind, not *my* fault for being so trusting.

I hate practical jokes, and while that is a low key example, it's the sort of thing I'd be equally perplexed and embarrassed by, wanting to move swiftly past it. In fact, I'd take on the personal burden of 'Have I fake-reacted sufficently - 'What? You're kidding! D'oh, you had me fooled, what an idiot I am! You're good at that, how did you keep a straight face?' to give him the satisfaction that was sought, when in fact letting him just shoulder the deserved awkward silence would be fairer and more dignified. I've had people spin me yarns like that and then tell me weeks later it was all nonsense. It's meant to be hilarious. Strange business. 

I just utterly trust people to tell me the truth - aside from any autistic issues of mine, I feel that mutual trust is the foundation of civilisation. Anyway...*boring anecdote/example follows*:

I once went to a workmate's house, and found a guest was there, sitting on a chair. This man introduced himself, and told me that he was a vicar who'd come here to arrange the marriage of my workmate's sister. So, naturally, twit that I am, I warbled away with polite questions about his church career etc etc...until he owned up that he wasn't a vicar at all - it seems that he had instantly sussed that I am incredibly naive and so decided to joke at my expense. For some strange reason, I have difficulty in being angry about misfortunes that befall me and also with holding grudges, so I couldn't be bothered being angry with him, so everything just petered out. Of course, I felt embarrassed at being fooled while also being perplexed by this rubbish, pointless and patronising joke. So this episode from the ongoing farce of my life perhaps shows how accepting things as literal truths is a problem but, just as importantly, it provides objective and scientific proof that that bloke was a twat. Or something. I've lost the thread of my conclusion now, so I'll just sidle away with an awkward soft-shoe shuffle. Please feel free to carry on about your business. Don't mind me... *whistles*

Funny, it’s great how your literalism induces uncontrollable laughter. That’s a talent!

Great discussion.

Once when I was on holiday, my mum tried to move the table in the accommodation so it would be easier for me to get around. She commented ‘this table is quite solid isn’t it’. I replied ‘well it wouldn’t be liquid would it?’

Funny times! I love how being an autistic literal thinker can make everyday interactions quite amusing.