The Thinking Literally thread

I've already shared this on another thread, but I have got better at recognising sarcasm, but it all disappears when I am stressed. My wife invited a neighbour in at really short notice (panic stations!) several days ago when we were looking after the dog. The neighbour said something like, "I bet that you hate having to take her for walks and look after her!" (Can't remember exactly words). And I said, almost hurt for the dog, "No! I love it!".

It wasn't until she'd gone that I realised she was being sarcastic (in a friendly way) And I probably looked a little daft.

My husband plays guitar and every time he packs up to leave for a practice with friends he says, oh no wheres the tuna? I always think he's looking for a fish   (tuner) weird how it's gets me over and over...

One week, a CBT therapist suggested (as homework between that afternoon and the following week's appointment): "Why don't you make a list of things you would like to do?".

(We had been vaguely talking about interests / hobbies / pastimes).

I diligently applied myself to the homework and returned the following week with my laptop in my hand. 

My therapist seemed to be very puzzled. 

I explained that I had produced a 10 year plan (of a schedule of things I would like to do - sequenced by what I felt up to tackling short / medium / long term) ...presented via a fully resourced etc. project plan on a spreadsheet - and there were more pages than I wanted to print off to show them - therefore, I had brought my laptop with me to enable use of auto filter (depending on the types of topics / challenges / timeframes we might address).

We did not use my homework.

(They had forgotten I am a Project Manager and I did not yet realise I was Autistic).  

Strangely, there was no homework set by the Therapist ready for the subsequent week!

Almost xD there were piles of papers on both desks and everything was just a mess. But a week after hiring me the boss ordered my manager to renovate the office so it wouldn't scare people anymore. I also helped with that and had fun doing it

Alienatedhuman said:

a woman is missing here!

I thought it was SO messy that a woman was buried under the mess.

Awfully confusing situation,  I would have thought the same. But isn't it a bit impolite to serve the customers and have a chat on the earpiece with a colleague at the same time... 

It was an interview in my current job. After some short conversation with the boss in his office he asked me if i would like to see the warehouse. I eagerly agreed and we went to the back side of the huge hardware store and there was a warehouse with the office fir logistics (where I work). The boss pointed with his finger the office which was messy at that time, and he said "a woman is missing here!" I thought we were waiting for some lady to come so I asked him if we are waiting for her. He started laughing and explained that he wants to hire a woman here to have it in order. 

I was ashamed and thought that I already lost it for being dump, but it turned out the same day he took his decision and hired me. One water leak "served" me that day - by noticing and reporting it to him I  for sure earned some extra points. And I'm not the only one keeping it in order, my colleagues also got a motivation to stop behaving like cave men. 

Debbie, honestly this is where I feel other people have a deficit.

Remainder of message edited for my own sanity.

I had the exact same thought when reading the story! And I was amazed 

Today my neighbour was talking at me about the road we live in and he said that 'the road is getting older'.

He didn't pause for breath, as usual, but I was completely lost at that point.

When he stopped I asked him how the road getting older makes any difference to anything - I mean, everything is getting older.

I'd aged considerably since he started talking.

Then he explained that he meant that the people in the road are getting older.

Doh.

Why didn't he say 'people'?

Shardovan said:

bib-bopping along

Lovely!

That's brilliant. 

That's really made me chuckle . Had that been me, I would have found it impossible to keep my face straight when the moment of realisation struck. 

It always catches me out when parents (usually mothers) refer to their offspring as their 'baby'. I automatically assume they are referring to a child below the age of 2, even though they may well be referring to an adult. 

First example I can recall:

I was 5y.o. My mom sent me to the kitchen to 'check if water for pasta began boiling'. I got there and found out I am not tall enough to see surface of water in a pot. Because I couldn't see bubbling water I came up with next brilliant idea and stuck my hand in water. It still wasn't good enough because I realised I can't tell if it's hot enough or no. So, when I was thinking with my hand in a pot, my mom came to the kitchen looking for me and to check water as I was gone a while. I'll never forget her face at that moment.

Combined power of literal thinking and being a very naughty boy causing endless trouble

When I played football, I had an advantage over opponents. I would run into open space -  something which took them by surprise because they were surely expecting a more considered, artful or sophisticated play by me. But my thinking was so limited & literal that I just did what was obvious (to me); I had no awareness at that moment whether this move might leave opponents flat-footed or not. I was no great footballing talent, for sure, but there were definite advantages to my unusual thinking. However, having too narrow a focus is certainly not the exclusive province of the autist.

i got really confused in musical composition by pieces  composed for ‘tape’.  I saw an image of ‘cassette tape’ in my mind - literally a tape - but I think they were just using the word for any recorded material.  Maybe the word ‘tape’ is used associatively not literally but I can’t be certain. Sometimes I am baffled by a seeming ‘club’ of people who have no problem with interpreting language.  I suspect there are upsides to literalism: for example. it’s a shortcut to lateral thinking. 

P.S. u r not a twit

Aw, thanks Simon! Easy to return the compliment, you're always so thoughtful and encouraging people on here.

If a twit like me can easily see the good in you then, rest assured, it must be as visible as a massive fireworks display for non-twits.