The Thinking Literally thread

I think it depends on the person in my case. To some, I give off an 'innocent abroad' vibe to the point where I've had things it would be impossible for me not to know by now condescendingly explained to me by younger people. To others - maybe the more preceptive - they see the complex and troubled soul within, even if they hopefully still see mostly goodness in me. I hope! I suspect it's mainly NT people in group one, and the neurodivergent in group two. 

This sort of incident has happened to me a number of times. There is something about me that makes certain folks near-instantly realise that I can be fooled. This probable fact, though, doesn't actually make me blame myself: for all my occasional foolishness, it's *their* fault for being so needlessly unkind, not *my* fault for being so trusting.

I hate practical jokes, and while that is a low key example, it's the sort of thing I'd be equally perplexed and embarrassed by, wanting to move swiftly past it. In fact, I'd take on the personal burden of 'Have I fake-reacted sufficently - 'What? You're kidding! D'oh, you had me fooled, what an idiot I am! You're good at that, how did you keep a straight face?' to give him the satisfaction that was sought, when in fact letting him just shoulder the deserved awkward silence would be fairer and more dignified. I've had people spin me yarns like that and then tell me weeks later it was all nonsense. It's meant to be hilarious. Strange business. 

I just utterly trust people to tell me the truth - aside from any autistic issues of mine, I feel that mutual trust is the foundation of civilisation. Anyway...*boring anecdote/example follows*:

I once went to a workmate's house, and found a guest was there, sitting on a chair. This man introduced himself, and told me that he was a vicar who'd come here to arrange the marriage of my workmate's sister. So, naturally, twit that I am, I warbled away with polite questions about his church career etc etc...until he owned up that he wasn't a vicar at all - it seems that he had instantly sussed that I am incredibly naive and so decided to joke at my expense. For some strange reason, I have difficulty in being angry about misfortunes that befall me and also with holding grudges, so I couldn't be bothered being angry with him, so everything just petered out. Of course, I felt embarrassed at being fooled while also being perplexed by this rubbish, pointless and patronising joke. So this episode from the ongoing farce of my life perhaps shows how accepting things as literal truths is a problem but, just as importantly, it provides objective and scientific proof that that bloke was a twat. Or something. I've lost the thread of my conclusion now, so I'll just sidle away with an awkward soft-shoe shuffle. Please feel free to carry on about your business. Don't mind me... *whistles*

Funny, it’s great how your literalism induces uncontrollable laughter. That’s a talent!

Great discussion.

Once when I was on holiday, my mum tried to move the table in the accommodation so it would be easier for me to get around. She commented ‘this table is quite solid isn’t it’. I replied ‘well it wouldn’t be liquid would it?’

Funny times! I love how being an autistic literal thinker can make everyday interactions quite amusing.

Though I do worry that my laughing so much sometimes creates the impression that I'm just bib-bopping along and not struggling or sad or distraught at privately unresolved things on several other fronts. It's a weird level of authentic cathartic amusement on top of a reservoir of sensitivity and hurt. 

We misinterpret each other all the time about practical stuff. Almost in ways where an ordinary brain would have to put extra effort into getting it so wrong. Like recently when she said 'how's it going with the bed?' Even though I'd spent the entire day in my own place dissassembling two bunk beds left by the previous owner, I took the singular 'bed' to mean she had to be asking about my main bedroom, where the only new addition was an electric blanket. So: 'Yes, it's nice and warm thanks' 'What?!' The penny drops. Uncontrollable laughter commences. The hours just fly by. 

Funny!

Sometimes being a literal thinker is very funny.

She understandably assumed that the context was enough. I can always appreciate that afterwards, and it was a funny moment.

I actually pulled my socks up when a teacher shouted "Pull your socks up!" at me.  : ( The teacher laughed, as if I'd meant to be funny; I hadn't. 

Why didn’t she just be more specific and state that it was your car she was talking about?

I think I have a higher hit rate of crossed wires with language with my mother than anyone else. I wonder do we both have neuro-linguistic strangeness and it gets a bit reciprocally amplified in some kind of feedback loop. 

The most recent instance occurred on Christmas Day when my mother moved her car up the driveway, then said 'OK, you can go in.' I headed to the front door. Two seconds later 'Nooooo! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I mean put your car in!'

NAS73180 said:

At a music lesson a teacher advised me to ‘grab the bull by the horns’.  I saw the image but didn’t immediately get the meaning

Neither do I, why can’t people just say what they mean? (rhetorical question!)

Well yes why do people state a certain time otherwise? (rhetorical question, I know you don’t know the answer).

Exactly, I don’t understand why some people refer to their dogs as kids. Although I understand how meaningful pets can be and how they can become part of the family.

I visualised a vagina until you asked the question ;-) "jumping on the bed should have been a hint!!"

Debbie said:

'is your little girl an animal by any chance?' and she said, yes, 'a dog'.

At a music lesson a teacher advised me to ‘grab the bull by the horns’.  I saw the image but didn’t immediately get the meaning.  I guess they meant I needed to ‘go for it’?  Maybe they meant to play more assertively?  I’m not certain.  I know they meant I had to play the piece in a particularly powerful way.  That is it it, I suppose. 

I turn up on time and expect things to literally start on time stated.