Published on 12, July, 2020
Please feel free to list your experiences with literal thinking or related behaviours whenever you feel like it, and whether these are important or as typically ridiculous as my recent example:
* I ordered a 'personalised' t-shirt from Ebay, graced with the word 'AUTISTIC' in gigantic, glowing capital letters. Wearing this shirt, I thought, would save me the tedium of explaining my more unusual words or deeds to others whenever it might be necessary. Hooray! Alas, after receiving the shirt I realised that it's Winter & resultingly bloomin' freezing so it's likely that the shirt is now as useless as I habitually am. If I wear the neon monstrosity that is the shirt under an opened jacket, its essential message - which ludicrously dwarfs the famous HOLLYWOOD sign, such are my design-skills - will either be lost on the NT crowd, or else appear as some kind of short, ironic and post-sexist anagram. Doh.
I just utterly trust people to tell me the truth - aside from any autistic issues of mine, I feel that mutual trust is the foundation of civilisation. Anyway...*boring anecdote/example follows*:
I once went to a workmate's house, and found a guest was there, sitting on a chair. This man introduced himself, and told me that he was a vicar who'd come here to arrange the marriage of my workmate's sister. So, naturally, twit that I am, I warbled away with polite questions about his church career etc etc...until he owned up that he wasn't a vicar at all - it seems that he had instantly sussed that I am incredibly naive and so decided to joke at my expense. For some strange reason, I have difficulty in being angry about misfortunes that befall me and also with holding grudges, so I couldn't be bothered being angry with him, so everything just petered out. Of course, I felt embarrassed at being fooled while also being perplexed by this rubbish, pointless and patronising joke. So this episode from the ongoing farce of my life perhaps shows how accepting things as literal truths is a problem but, just as importantly, it provides objective and scientific proof that that bloke was a twat. Or something. I've lost the thread of my conclusion now, so I'll just sidle away with an awkward soft-shoe shuffle. Please feel free to carry on about your business. Don't mind me... *whistles*
I hate practical jokes, and while that is a low key example, it's the sort of thing I'd be equally perplexed and embarrassed by, wanting to move swiftly past it. In fact, I'd take on the personal burden of 'Have I fake-reacted sufficently - 'What? You're kidding! D'oh, you had me fooled, what an idiot I am! You're good at that, how did you keep a straight face?' to give him the satisfaction that was sought, when in fact letting him just shoulder the deserved awkward silence would be fairer and more dignified. I've had people spin me yarns like that and then tell me weeks later it was all nonsense. It's meant to be hilarious. Strange business.