HI EVERYONE!

Hello traveller

There isn't many among us who managed to survive so many changes and moving from place to place. You are stubborn like a donkey, my mom used to say about me. But I was forced by circumstances, otherwise I wouldn't certainly decide to do it. What about you? Did you enter millitary knowing you'll be moved from place to place without fear of it?

I gave up on trying to fit anywhere in real word, I just live in my own bubble now. 

My belated response---sorry!  I view this site as a junkie views his  "fix".  I am very impulsive and have a low bordom threshold and often take immediate actions I often regret later.  I now need my "fix".  Yesterday I had responded with a rather long and comprehensive reply to this space and it never got registered. I don,t think I broke any forum rules and I certainly wasn't abusive in any way. Indeed I regestered my complaint to NAS in this regard. So, If this response also doesn't register that ends my relationship with NAS---as I said I act on impulse. 

In answer to your question, I have never feared moving about, indeed I looked foward to it. I'm quite settled now in my winter of discontent having realized I've been running away from myself for many years seeking a place where I do fit. Don't be fooled by my current settlement. I still do not fit, am tired of running, and emotionally drained.

Hi I'm back again.  Please don't think me as rude for my lack of prompt response. I am not tied to my PC and have the occasional look-in.  I can understand the many within this comminity who depend on this forum on a daily basis.  I try to strike a balance between this and my other interests. Further, my mind will only endure what my bum will allow in this sitting position  :-)  I also have a short attention span until I lock onto an interest with great focus.  It's true what has been said about autistics " once you have met an autistic person, you have met a unique autistic person" --- or words in close approximation to this. 

I've returned for my occasional "fix" pendiong what my bum will allow!  I try to adhere to the writings of Disiderata and on this occasion the phrase " Do not distress yourself with imaginings"  Seven months ago I introduced myself  (see above "Hi Everyone!"  The brief examples  of exclusions sited in my intro were not imaginings. I really do appreciate all comments made in response. I can add a recent experience of further exclusion despite my awareness of possibly being viewed as a hopeless moaner.

There is a town movement against the "20 minute neighbourhood" our local council had tried to impose upon us. Out of this movement, I engaged with a group of people who meet up every Sunday at a pub to discuss latest updated events. I only recognized two poeple in this group who vaguely knew of me. One was a young man who knows my step daughter, and the other was a man who I briefly worked with as a temporary agency job many years ago, and whose name I remembered as Steve. Conversation got off to a slow start and was very stilted. I attempted to remind Steve---who was sitting next to me on my right ---of our brief encounter all those years ago. He did remember me and promptly got up to change his seat to one much further away. His action reinforced my embarrassment over my reality of being considered a pariah. I don't recall any reason past or present for Steve's action and I had freshened myself up in a shower before attending this group. I am very tuned into sensing awkwardness in the other young man (Bob) sitting next to me on my left. Owing to many past rejections I have developed a tactical avoidance mechanism, and promptly excused myself from a situation where I felt I was not welcomed. I shook the hands of both Steve and Bob before my exit. I have not attended any futher group meetings. Such is my socially isolated life.

Ciao ADITL,

Grazie per la tua risposta e sono contento che tu abbia deciso di non annullare l'iscrizione.

Mi hai insegnato una nuova parola che si applica a me! ---  alessitimico. La mia prima moglie se n'è andata dopo 12 anni di matrimonio a causa della mia alessitimia. Pensava che fossi noioso. Mi ha lasciato con il mio figlio maggiore e ha portato via il mio figlio più giovane al suo nuovo amore ritrovato che è durato solo pochi anni a causa della sua ubriachezza e delle percosse che ha ricevuto da lui. --- punizione ironica? Mi sono risposato con la mia nuova moglie con due dei suoi figli piccoli. Adesso sono tutti adulti e stiamo ancora insieme nonostante il mio autismo e la mia alessitimia. Non so come mi abbia tollerato per tutti questi anni!

Sì, è paradossale il modo in cui le nostre strane difese funzionano contro di noi.

Giudico le persone dalle loro azioni, ma ci vuole tempo per esprimere un giudizio del genere con solo parole qui su un forum.

Penso di aver capito come funziona la tua mente iperattiva. Salta un po 'ma stai andando alla grande.

La cultura americana impone risultati rapidi che spesso implicano un pensiero semplicistico che va bene se la comprensione di base di un problema è corretta. A volte non lo è, ma è questo che rende l'America così dinamica. La mia osservazione qui nel Regno Unito --- dopo aver vissuto qui per oltre 50 anni --- è che ogni problema è dibattuto a  morte  , il che spesso significa che la "barca" dell'opportunità è stata / è stata spesso persa. A New York diciamo "Sei in ritardo di un giorno e in meno di un dollaro"

Mi ha fatto piacere vedere la BREXIT britannica. Avrebbe dovuto liberare il Regno Unito affinché diventasse la nazione commerciale insulare che era una volta, prendendo le distanze dall'UE molto corrotta che applicava le sue regole in modo antidemocratico. Ma questo governo ha anche rovinato la BREXIT.

Non dovrei deviare da quella che è una piattaforma per l'autismo. Forse il tuo pensiero iperattivo è contagioso!

Ti scriverò più tardi. Arrivederci per ora.

Hi ADITL,

Thank you for your reply, and I am glad you decided not to unsubscribe..

You have taught me a new word which applies to me!--- alexithymic.  My first wife walked out after 12 years of our marriage owing to my  alexithymia. She thought I was boring.  She left me with my oldest son and took away my youngest son to her new found love which only lasted a few years owing to his drunkedness and beatings she received from him. --- ironic retribution ?  I remarried with my new wife with two of her own young children. They are all adults now and we are still together despite my autism and  alexithymia.  I don't know how she tolerated me all these years!

Yes' it is paradoxical about how our wierd defences work against us.

I judge people by their actions, but it takes time to make such a judgement with only words here on a forum.

I think I get how your hyperactive mind works. It does jump around somewhat but you are doing just great.

American culture dictates fast results that often implies simplistic thinking which is ok providing core understanding of a problem is correct.  Sometimes it is not, but then that is what makes America so dynamic. My observation here in the UK --- after living here for over 50 years---is every problem is debated to death which often means the "boat" of opportunity has/is often been missed. Back in NYC we say "Your a day late and a dollar short"

I was pleased to see the UK BREXIT. It should have freed the UK to become the island trading nation it once was, by distancing itself from the very corrupt EU who enforced its rules undemocratically.  But this government also screwed that BREXIT up.

I should not divert from what is a platform for autism. Perhaps your hyperactive thinking is contagious!

I shall text with you later. Bye Bye for now.

Hi, my post was just part of my thinking.

In the meantime, I'm sorry for what you write, and you certainly have my full sympathy.

I had read your initial post, hard to do the things you did.

Don't worry: I understand that it is very difficult to do what you did, and then find yourself in a rejecting part of the nation.
Then you know you are in a double dynamic , autistic and you have moved.

I too had to move.

And already leaving against the will is a real problem.
But finding even a beautiful post with rejecting people is a drama.

That I have lived.
So I know the dynamics you describe, obviously changing a nation also means having to adapt and maybe they feel like a foreign body.

Question: although perhaps I would guess your answer because if similar to my situation what I ask you is very difficult on my skin.


Changing location, still staying in Great Britain?

A less uncomfortable place?

Here too there are wrong places, but they are not all wrong...

Sorry question.

<>

Here they exclude you differently, they are in an area that is welcoming in words.

It must feel like it is.

 Sorry, you separated the quotes, I didn't, sorry for the mess.


I wore social masks too because where I came from otherwise they'll literally tear you to pieces.

The different is not accepted.

On the contrary.

Then we have developed defenses that paradoxically go against us.

I see it by the less difficult way they have to live here.

But it is always very competitive.

Here in the forum you have impressed me.

I also wrote in Forum USA.

But they speak and write a little differently.

And they simplify too many things.

But I found diversity with this right away.

I am also alexithymic so I struggle both to understand and to express emotions.

But we all try the primaries.

The feeling is that here they are more empathetic, I would say massively even more intelligent, no offense, but I mean more intelligent on average.

Many posts are written by very good people.

Beyond this I perceive empathy and very intense emotionality.

Them less.

But maybe it's just a matter of cultural differences, and we Europeans perhaps have more common methods than a nation in the making like the USA.
 A schoolmate of mine lives there.

He is fluent in 5 languages.

I think it's a subclinical case, he was my best friend.

Then he forgot everything before and then me too.

I don't, I also remember the details.

I wanted to thank the moderation because they understood my situation and I appreciated it very much.

No, I will not unsubscribe.

Maybe I will have moments of break to take.

And for me too these months are bad even in terms of mood.

I hope my post is readable.

Thank you, you are important too.

However here you are with people like you.

If you read my above intro "Hello Everyone!" you will realize some of the possible reasons I am a misfit  and that your estimate of me may be somewhat distorted in comparison to the average Brit. I do not have the British "reserve". I tell it like I see it having been made street wise at an early age, dragged up on the streets of Brooklyn. I do not share your passion about history although I do find it interesting having initially come from a young country with little history by comparison. British fairplay is evident but it too has its limitations to my experience here in the East Anglia region of England. Every generalization has its exceptions! I assume you are speaking generically when you state:

I didn't imagine you were so emotional

I personally have overloaded on my emotions from a young age and have developed a very thick skin (mask) that is often misinterpreted in the NT world.

I have rephrased your statement: 

then it comes the important thing is to overcome the levels of tolerance and social inclusion.

with :  to overcome the levels of intolerance and social exclusion" which for me has been historic with the huge exception of this forum. Here I can relax---to a limited degree, as I am sure you will also agree owing to your "mental hyperactivity". Thanks for your historic overview and explanation of the difficulties with the Italian language. 

I hope you hang about a bit longer on this forum as you are an interesting person. 

Thank you! Your words are like a perfect photograph. Yes: 1) Huge anxiety and distress problems Very good, you seem to have the talent of a psychologist 2) Yes, it is already a problem in Italian. I have to translate thoughts into words, I think in images. Adhd maybe in this my jute because I'm mentally hyperactive.3) Regarding my level of English, it's my fault because in Italy there are high-level private English schools.So this is my fault: I apologize.4) It doesn't matter that you don't speak Italian, since it is a language destined to become extinct in Italian I know 25,600 words that Generally people don't even know half of them: they implement other languages. 5) The Italian language is very complicated. You have to understand how to use a word because if said with a different intonation it can mean another twenty unrelated things5) The phnetics of Italians in English is often not valid.And you are very kind .6) I think I understand 4 Italian languages, there is not only 1, but an official one yes and 19 nineteen dialects, always Italian. We used to use the French language before. So my grandparents knew more than me in French and German. Because our wars of independence have been many, all won. Against the Austrians, I am writing to you a very strange thing. If you are passionate about history, you will see that Italy was divided in 1861. If you saw the Potentates of that time, all without exception have the German language in common, because the domination was Austrian. 7) In my genetic branch there are many individuals Aspergers, many are mentally gifted. A relative of mine learned Russian quickly. He has been in Russia for years in a church a few meters from the Kremlin. 7) I understand several languages in reading once I thought I had read in Italian. Instead it was Portuguese. But I don't know how to speak or write about it. 8) On the plane a few days ago I spoke in the Neapolitan language to a Neapolitan. I never understood the phonetics wrongly. In my region there are at least 5 different languages including Catalan, Spanish, and three strains of my regional language. 9) the greatest language decipherers ever were autistic. 10) The English and the British, we greatly admire them for their fairness and sense of loyalty. They can make terrible wars like the second world war world, but in Africa they paid us the honor of arms. Yesterday I saw the Wimbledon final which for Italians represents tennis. Rules, fair play, history, and an environment out of time. I hope you manage to emerge from the post-crisis EU because you did what we should have done, only we didn't have your courage. You will always get better. However my experience here will go, my admiration for you is enormous, and I find you more empathetic than us. I didn't imagine you were so sensitive: I find it very beautiful and rare. I read a message about an age that I would never have given. Fantastic! I think like you. We in Italy tend not to underline the mistakes that foreigners always make. We help them express themselves and understand their difficulties. After all, our language is studied or spoken by only 200 million people in the world including many Argentines and Brazilians and 17 millions of people of the 5th generation immigrants don't even speak it, only a few. Italians love Great Britain very much, perhaps improving our English would be right here. Among other things, I didn't imagine you were so emotional, it is important to be especially so for autistics, then it comes the important thing is to overcome the levels of tolerance and social inclusion. Autistic people are underestimated or seen in a stereotyped way, we are not like that, on the contrary. Thank you!

Thank you! Your words are like a perfect photograph. Yes: 1) Huge anxiety and distress problems Very good, you seem to have the talent of a psychologist 2) Yes, it is already a problem in Italian. I have to translate thoughts into words, I think in images. Adhd maybe in this my jute because I'm mentally hyperactive.3) Regarding my level of English, it's my fault because in Italy there are high-level private English schools.So this is my fault: I apologize.4) It doesn't matter that you don't speak Italian, since it is a language destined to become extinct in Italian I know 25,600 words that Generally people don't even know half of them: they implement other languages. 5) The Italian language is very complicated. You have to understand how to use a word because if said with a different intonation it can mean another twenty unrelated things5) The phnetics of Italians in English is often not valid.And you are very kind .6) I think I understand 4 Italian languages, there is not only 1, but an official one yes and 19 nineteen dialects, always Italian. We used to use the French language before. So my grandparents knew more than me in French and German. Because our wars of independence have been many, all won. Against the Austrians, I am writing to you a very strange thing. If you are passionate about history, you will see that Italy was divided in 1861. If you saw the Potentates of that time, all without exception have the German language in common, because the domination was Austrian. 7) In my genetic branch there are many individuals Aspergers, many are mentally gifted. A relative of mine learned Russian quickly. He has been in Russia for years in a church a few meters from the Kremlin. 7) I understand several languages in reading once I thought I had read in Italian. Instead it was Portuguese. But I don't know how to speak or write about it. 8) On the plane a few days ago I spoke in the Neapolitan language to a Neapolitan. I never understood the phonetics wrongly. In my region there are at least 5 different languages including Catalan, Spanish, and three strains of my regional language. 9) the greatest language decipherers ever were autistic. 10) The English and the British, we greatly admire them for their fairness and sense of loyalty. They can make terrible wars like the second world war world, but in Africa they paid us the honor of arms. Yesterday I saw the Wimbledon final which for Italians represents tennis. Rules, fair play, history, and an environment out of time. I hope you manage to emerge from the post-crisis EU because you did what we should have done, only we didn't have your courage. You will always get better. However my experience here will go, my admiration for you is enormous, and I find you more empathetic than us. I didn't imagine you were so sensitive: I find it very beautiful and rare. I read a message about an age that I would never have given. Fantastic! I think like you. We in Italy tend not to underline the mistakes that foreigners always make. We help them express themselves and understand their difficulties. After all, our language is studied or spoken by only 200 million people in the world including many Argentines and Brazilians and 17 millions of people of the 5th generation immigrants don't even speak it, only a few. Italians love Great Britain very much, perhaps improving our English would be right here. Among other things, I didn't imagine you were so emotional, it is important to be especially so for autistics, then it comes the important thing is to overcome the levels of tolerance and social inclusion. Autistic people are underestimated or seen in a stereotyped way, we are not like that, on the contrary. Thank you!

Ciao ADITL,

Grazie per la tua risposta e sono contento che tu abbia deciso di non annullare l'iscrizione.

Mi hai insegnato una nuova parola che si applica a me! ---  alessitimico. La mia prima moglie se n'è andata dopo 12 anni di matrimonio a causa della mia alessitimia. Pensava che fossi noioso. Mi ha lasciato con il mio figlio maggiore e ha portato via il mio figlio più giovane al suo nuovo amore ritrovato che è durato solo pochi anni a causa della sua ubriachezza e delle percosse che ha ricevuto da lui. --- punizione ironica? Mi sono risposato con la mia nuova moglie con due dei suoi figli piccoli. Adesso sono tutti adulti e stiamo ancora insieme nonostante il mio autismo e la mia alessitimia. Non so come mi abbia tollerato per tutti questi anni!

Sì, è paradossale il modo in cui le nostre strane difese funzionano contro di noi.

Giudico le persone dalle loro azioni, ma ci vuole tempo per esprimere un giudizio del genere con solo parole qui su un forum.

Penso di aver capito come funziona la tua mente iperattiva. Salta un po 'ma stai andando alla grande.

La cultura americana impone risultati rapidi che spesso implicano un pensiero semplicistico che va bene se la comprensione di base di un problema è corretta. A volte non lo è, ma è questo che rende l'America così dinamica. La mia osservazione qui nel Regno Unito --- dopo aver vissuto qui per oltre 50 anni --- è che ogni problema è dibattuto a  morte  , il che spesso significa che la "barca" dell'opportunità è stata / è stata spesso persa. A New York diciamo "Sei in ritardo di un giorno e in meno di un dollaro"

Mi ha fatto piacere vedere la BREXIT britannica. Avrebbe dovuto liberare il Regno Unito affinché diventasse la nazione commerciale insulare che era una volta, prendendo le distanze dall'UE molto corrotta che applicava le sue regole in modo antidemocratico. Ma questo governo ha anche rovinato la BREXIT.

Non dovrei deviare da quella che è una piattaforma per l'autismo. Forse il tuo pensiero iperattivo è contagioso!

Ti scriverò più tardi. Arrivederci per ora.

Hi ADITL,

Thank you for your reply, and I am glad you decided not to unsubscribe..

You have taught me a new word which applies to me!--- alexithymic.  My first wife walked out after 12 years of our marriage owing to my  alexithymia. She thought I was boring.  She left me with my oldest son and took away my youngest son to her new found love which only lasted a few years owing to his drunkedness and beatings she received from him. --- ironic retribution ?  I remarried with my new wife with two of her own young children. They are all adults now and we are still together despite my autism and  alexithymia.  I don't know how she tolerated me all these years!

Yes' it is paradoxical about how our wierd defences work against us.

I judge people by their actions, but it takes time to make such a judgement with only words here on a forum.

I think I get how your hyperactive mind works. It does jump around somewhat but you are doing just great.

American culture dictates fast results that often implies simplistic thinking which is ok providing core understanding of a problem is correct.  Sometimes it is not, but then that is what makes America so dynamic. My observation here in the UK --- after living here for over 50 years---is every problem is debated to death which often means the "boat" of opportunity has/is often been missed. Back in NYC we say "Your a day late and a dollar short"

I was pleased to see the UK BREXIT. It should have freed the UK to become the island trading nation it once was, by distancing itself from the very corrupt EU who enforced its rules undemocratically.  But this government also screwed that BREXIT up.

I should not divert from what is a platform for autism. Perhaps your hyperactive thinking is contagious!

I shall text with you later. Bye Bye for now.

Hi, my post was just part of my thinking.

In the meantime, I'm sorry for what you write, and you certainly have my full sympathy.

I had read your initial post, hard to do the things you did.

Don't worry: I understand that it is very difficult to do what you did, and then find yourself in a rejecting part of the nation.
Then you know you are in a double dynamic , autistic and you have moved.

I too had to move.

And already leaving against the will is a real problem.
But finding even a beautiful post with rejecting people is a drama.

That I have lived.
So I know the dynamics you describe, obviously changing a nation also means having to adapt and maybe they feel like a foreign body.

Question: although perhaps I would guess your answer because if similar to my situation what I ask you is very difficult on my skin.


Changing location, still staying in Great Britain?

A less uncomfortable place?

Here too there are wrong places, but they are not all wrong...

Sorry question.

<>

Here they exclude you differently, they are in an area that is welcoming in words.

It must feel like it is.

 Sorry, you separated the quotes, I didn't, sorry for the mess.


I wore social masks too because where I came from otherwise they'll literally tear you to pieces.

The different is not accepted.

On the contrary.

Then we have developed defenses that paradoxically go against us.

I see it by the less difficult way they have to live here.

But it is always very competitive.

Here in the forum you have impressed me.

I also wrote in Forum USA.

But they speak and write a little differently.

And they simplify too many things.

But I found diversity with this right away.

I am also alexithymic so I struggle both to understand and to express emotions.

But we all try the primaries.

The feeling is that here they are more empathetic, I would say massively even more intelligent, no offense, but I mean more intelligent on average.

Many posts are written by very good people.

Beyond this I perceive empathy and very intense emotionality.

Them less.

But maybe it's just a matter of cultural differences, and we Europeans perhaps have more common methods than a nation in the making like the USA.
 A schoolmate of mine lives there.

He is fluent in 5 languages.

I think it's a subclinical case, he was my best friend.

Then he forgot everything before and then me too.

I don't, I also remember the details.

I wanted to thank the moderation because they understood my situation and I appreciated it very much.

No, I will not unsubscribe.

Maybe I will have moments of break to take.

And for me too these months are bad even in terms of mood.

I hope my post is readable.

Thank you, you are important too.

However here you are with people like you.

If you read my above intro "Hello Everyone!" you will realize some of the possible reasons I am a misfit  and that your estimate of me may be somewhat distorted in comparison to the average Brit. I do not have the British "reserve". I tell it like I see it having been made street wise at an early age, dragged up on the streets of Brooklyn. I do not share your passion about history although I do find it interesting having initially come from a young country with little history by comparison. British fairplay is evident but it too has its limitations to my experience here in the East Anglia region of England. Every generalization has its exceptions! I assume you are speaking generically when you state:

I didn't imagine you were so emotional

I personally have overloaded on my emotions from a young age and have developed a very thick skin (mask) that is often misinterpreted in the NT world.

I have rephrased your statement: 

then it comes the important thing is to overcome the levels of tolerance and social inclusion.

with :  to overcome the levels of intolerance and social exclusion" which for me has been historic with the huge exception of this forum. Here I can relax---to a limited degree, as I am sure you will also agree owing to your "mental hyperactivity". Thanks for your historic overview and explanation of the difficulties with the Italian language. 

I hope you hang about a bit longer on this forum as you are an interesting person.