Published on 12, July, 2020
I've recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism. I am a retired electro/mechanical technician who has served in a number of industries here and abroad as well as the military, so my experiences are wide but always were in connection with positions where operational tasks could be performed alone. I am looking for an adult group I can continue to try to assimilate into as fitting into a group has been a trial for me since childhood. Added to my "oddness" is my American accent having been raised in New York City. This instantly has put me on a weak footing to be warmly welcomed and engaged with, complemented by my own "standoffishness" that has become my deeply ingrained defence mechanism here in Norfolk/Suffolk, a very conservative region where I have lived since 1971. Over this time, I have experienced repetitive failed attempts to engage with social groups. This includes negative outcomes with the U3A, Odd Fellows, and Lions where one "gentleman" who originated in Vietnam, stated he has had great pleasure in killing Americans during that conflict. So, --- my question to you is am I destined to die a misfit, or do you think there may be some salvation for me through a suitable adult group I can feel at ease with supported by the knowledge they are just as odd as I am or, am I to continue on this lonely path of social rejection.
Hello traveller
There isn't many among us who managed to survive so many changes and moving from place to place. You are stubborn like a donkey, my mom used to say about me. But I was forced by circumstances, otherwise I wouldn't certainly decide to do it. What about you? Did you enter millitary knowing you'll be moved from place to place without fear of it?
I gave up on trying to fit anywhere in real word, I just live in my own bubble now.
My belated response---sorry! I view this site as a junkie views his "fix". I am very impulsive and have a low bordom threshold and often take immediate actions I often regret later. I now need my "fix". Yesterday I had responded with a rather long and comprehensive reply to this space and it never got registered. I don,t think I broke any forum rules and I certainly wasn't abusive in any way. Indeed I regestered my complaint to NAS in this regard. So, If this response also doesn't register that ends my relationship with NAS---as I said I act on impulse.
In answer to your question, I have never feared moving about, indeed I looked foward to it. I'm quite settled now in my winter of discontent having realized I've been running away from myself for many years seeking a place where I do fit. Don't be fooled by my current settlement. I still do not fit, am tired of running, and emotionally drained.