Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just watching this Yo Samdy Sam video and already noticing (in spite of her posh, private school education - privilege alert!) that many of the teachers' observations are almost exaclty the same as on my own. Almost eerily, in fact, although I went to a very rough comprehensive in the North East of England. My reports were, on the face of it, rather good, but there are some little asides which indicate constant high levels of anxiety combined with my supposed "giftedness" (I was actually terrified into appearing "gifted", I now think). When I look back, I'm getting more of a feeling of, "My goodness - what did they do to me?" Very interesting, I think, And I'll probably reflect some more on this as I watch the rest. My "giftedness" didn't exactly carry over into most of the workplaces I got myself trapped in and I then experienced decades of anxiety and fairly poor mental health. So... and if you care to share, how was it for you? www.youtube.com/watch
Luftmentsch said:I just postponed the collapse.
I come across this kind of experience a lot and certainly went through it myself. The sad result has been that, even when I didn't collapse, there was that constant feeling of living on the edge. And it would only have taken schools and educators to consider the whole person, drill down into the reasons behind the lack of participation and give reasonable support. Sigh...
So familiar. I was always better at art - a solitary pursuit - than PE and the art teacher encourage me to do an extra O level in addition to all the academic subjects I felt obliged to choose. Fortunately it couldn't easily be timetabled so, to the annoyance of the PE teacher, I was allowed to drop PE to fit it in. I was also encouraged to drop in to the art room over breaks and lunchtimes too, which suited me just fine. Later in life, and given that workplaces don't have art rooms, that pattern continued when I hid in the toilets to escape!
Drawing any attention was always a problem for me too. I felt so nervous and wanted to shake it off as soon as I could. Then that led to me looking odd and standoffish, bringing in negative attention too. :(
I did get a lot of "quiets" and "timids" for sure. But it was generally framed as a fault with me rather than something for which I might need support - a severe underlying anxiety issue.
That teacher sounds so nice and probably a saving grace within the education system as it was (and probably still is). I don't think I was a team player either but then I look back and can see that it wasn't all down to me. If other kids don't include us or allow us in, whether in the playground or in classes involving teamwork, then some of that is surely down to their poor social skills (and even bullying on many occasions)?
I hid in the art room at lunchtime in high school.
Invisible = safe mode, I think. I was generally quiet too, although I also had a kind of nervous energy that overflowed into excitable outbursts at times. I don't think they could make me out and that's probably a common experience for many of us.
This sounds just appalling. Lots of similarities to my own experiences, especially the constant sense of danger and the ruination of any feelings of trust in the system. And yes, so much seemed to be based on favouritism and bullying, which actually came from both pupils and teachers, although in different forms. So sorry you went through this too.
My primary school ones weren’t too bad. I was described as quiet, reserved, doesn’t participate in group discussions; likes the company of one or two friends etc. Also, ‘excellent’ at English and creative writing but struggles in other areas.
However, things went downhill in secondary school. I was described as ‘troubled’. One teacher even wrote – **** constantly looks ‘morose’ – when he should be enjoying life at his age.
I don’t think I learned a single thing in secondary school. The teachers showed zero interest and deemed me a dumbass as I couldn’t concentrate or participate in class. I just rebelled, smoked pot and thumped anyone who tried picking on me.
I had one English teacher who encouraged my creative writing, but back then I couldn’t see where it would take me. I left with one GCSE and spent years in jobs I hated.
Anyway, at the age of 37, I took up writing again and earned a degree in English language and creative writing. I should have just skipped secondary school. Primary school was much more productive!
The best way for sure. The louder you are the more attention you get. I preferred to be on my own.
I bet you're a creative maths genius??
Things could have been so different - with more understanding.
Wow.
I still have an old school report, I posted it here a few years ago and I'm reposting it.
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My school days were a continuous living nightmare.
Ditto - quiet quiet quiet, good student, should talk more, blah blah blah
Gosh! It's so long ago that I think I would need to retrieve my reports (if I still have them) to refresh my memory. However, I seem to recall that I was often described as quiet and shy. As I progressed through secondary school, I think many of my subject teachers felt there was room for improvement and that I needed to apply myself more. The exception was English, although I certainly wasn't what I would describe as "gifted" in that subject.
I struggled when it came to choosing my GCSE options, I very much felt like it was a case of choosing the best from a bad bunch. From my perspective, the focus appeared to be very much on being academically gifted or proficient at sports, and that just wasn't me at all.
Hard working, good grades, good all-rounder (except PE), quiet, needs to participate more. That was pretty much every school report I got. I can't remember if I was explicitly told that I needed more friends.
In retrospect, I wonder how I managed going to a very big (1,500 pupils) secondary school, involving a long commute on buses and Tube every day, not to mention bullies, but I had a mini-burnout in the Sixth Form and a bigger one at university, so the answer is probably that I <i>didn't</i> manage it, I just postponed the collapse.
I think mine were something along the lines of 'quiet, doesn't mix with the other children' and things like that.
i never did homework. im very strict on my time in everything. any work should be done at work, or at school... homework is a invasion into private time and shouldnt be a thing in my eyes. its taking private time they are not entitled to take. if work cant be done in your school time, then they are incompetent at managing your school time.