School reports - how were yours?

Autonomistic said:

I would much rather do maths questions than be forced to go out into the playground with the other children.

I used to love in junior school a rainy day when we were allowed to stay inside and read or draw instead of being forced out onto the playground! Another worse thing about senior school, since we didn't have our own classroom we had to fend for ourselves in the rain.

Not all of us are conscientious though. I was very bad at bothering to do my homework. Although I think I was in some ways.

I am surprised how many have said their poor attendance was not chased up. Makes me think i could totally have got away with skiving PE! Missed a trick there.

Yes, I made similar choices and felt that creative - academic tension too.  I found that the further I got through my education the more pressure was piled onto the academic side.  And, although I felt out of place and in many ways blocked, the need to conform academically and also to escape childhood poverty prevailed.  So I later trained as an accountant and the creative, arty kid in me was suppressed.  At the time I had the distinct thought that being an artist was associated with struggling and poverty and I wanted no more of that.  But now it's like a knife being turned when I see others with successful online art businesses.  

Still, it's good to have encouraging parents as many don't and this makes a huge difference in itself.  Maybe it also creates the foundations on which to rebuild later in life too?  I haven't picked up my arty stuff again either but I think the hope remains and I actually have some art materials in the corner of this very room.  I wonder how it would feel to get back into it now?  Maybe you'd have to start in a very small way - doodles or a bit of "stimmy" plastercine and the like - and see whether the artist in you will come out and take up full residence again?     

Clever! And probably kept you warm in winter. My classmates probably would have preferred if I had skived, obviously nobody wanted me on their team.

Thinking about it I kind of wish I had skipped PE. My Mum would not have minded! Why did i think the rule that one had to attend unless sick or at the dentist (appointments always made for PE time of course!) had to be followed yet did not think I had to fully participate in the game or do what the teacher said?

I'm glad you managed to help your son get away with it! Although there are probably many lovely PE teachers my feeling is that there are also many who have quite problematic personalities.

I find there is a tension between my creative side and my academic side. I loved academia when i was there, love learning and research and understanding things. But there was a rigidity to it which did not suit me and I felt a bit stifled in a way. I do wonder what my life would have been like if I had pursued the arty option.

My mother was arty as well as academic, but my Dad not so much, although he has written two poems! But i definitely felt more encouraged into the academic side. They would of course have supported me if I had chosen art, but I lacked the confidence to go so far off piste as it were. In fact I did science from school even though I ended up doing medieval studies. I think it takes some of us longer to find out what really makes us excited rather than just being good at it and somewhat interested in it.

I could do more creative stuff now, but i don't. Why not? No idea. 

I played 'ball avoidance football', if you ran up and down and looked engaged, but did not actually touch the football, very little criticism was forthcoming. Of course my classmates knew not to pass the ball my way!

Shardovan said:

sparing other introverts the misery of her learning curve. 

The thing is, I'd expect many of those who are good at English to be introverts who love to read and reflect, so having an English teacher singling you out like that says much more about her than you.

I had one who was similar at A level, as she used to spout forth about it being no use being a "shrinking violet" and people who can't speak up not doing very well at university or in life generally.  All of this really adds to the anxiety, of course, and had the opposite effect to what she (clumsily and thoughtlessly, for a literature teacher) intended.   They should have been able to adapt the classes for all personality types, I think, and endeavour to get the best from us and for us. 

Yes, the "needs to speak up in class" is a recurring theme in my reports.  Then, 30 years later, in those of my sons.  No thought given as to why we weren't speaking up.  :(

Oh Sparkly, this is once again so familiar to me.  And the focus should have been on educating you as a whole person, not trying to force you into their preconceived ideas of what was right for you.  I wish it could have been better for you and more individually tailored.  

I've just dug out my old school reports. Very enlightening!

Once I adapted to primary school I coped fairly well. I had the same teacher and class throughout, which helped a lot. My primary school teacher was lovely and I think she may have been autistic herself.

Some extracts from my last report from primary:

"expresses her views well on paper, although not forthcoming orally", "A quiet member of the class"

Already very apparent that my verbal skills were a long way behind my written skills.

"has shown a particular interest in maths"

Too true, I was obsessed with maths! Every day I used to ask my teacher for extra maths questions that I could do during break times and at home. I would much rather do maths questions than be forced to go out into the playground with the other children.

Like others have already commented, the transition to secondary school was extremely difficult for me. I went from having the same teacher for years to multiple different ones every day. My secondary school was  a rough comprehensive too, I did not fit in at all 

My first year at secondary school:

"lacking self confidence", "very quiet in class", "needs to speak up more in class discussions"

Even quieter than I was at primary school.

"exam results disappointing due to problems of timing", "tentative approach under timed conditions"

This was something I really struggled with under timed conditions. My brain needed more time to process questions and to think what to write. I could rarely finish exam questions in the time allowed. If I'd been able to finish I would have done much better in tests and exams. I note in the video posted above that this was something Sam struggled with too"

Years 2 and 3 at secondary school:

"quiet but very conscientious", "works quietly and conscientiously during lessons", "most conscientious", "conscientious and capable", "quiet and methodological", "participation must improve in the oral aspects"

A theme developing here. That word is used in my reports so many times in addition to the examples I have quoted. One of the comments below the linked video says "there should be a system that books an Autism assessment whenever a teacher describes them as "conscientious" 

"must learn to work quicker", "very slow on the practical side of the course"

Still struggling with timing. In practical lessons, such as home economics and needlecraft, I was hopeless and couldn't follow instructions or do any practical tasks without disastrous results.

Years 4 and 5 at secondary school. This is when I really started to struggle more and more. I stopped attending many lessons and just about dropped out of school completely towards the end. 

"works conscientiously", "conscientious worker", "conscientious effort", "continuing to work conscientiously", "oral work is poor"

Interestingly in year 4, despite my appalling attendance stats, my frequent absences barely seem to have been noticed by my teachers! I was obviously so quiet they did not notice if I was there or not.

"poor attendance record, will have to make much more effort", "progress hindered by frequent absences", "what has happened?", "must make effort not to miss lessons", "ability alone is not sufficient"

By my final year my teachers had finally noticed I was no longer attending their lessons. However nobody asked why or offered any support 

AuTriker said:

the gym teacher asked her if she was new in her final year.

Haha!  That actually indicates excellent and completely justifiable avoidance tactics in my view!  

i actually had a bit of a run in with the PE teacher on behalf of one of my sons.  they were very pushy about it and called an "important" meeting to discuss it, pointing out that it was compulsory, in line with a government ruling and something to do with the obesity problem.  Well, my son was very fit and wiry, built like a whippet ready to race, and I argued that this problem clearly didn't apply to him.  Moreover he got lots of exercise outside school and found the communical changing rooms difficult and awkward because of his acne at the time and I said it was all leading to mental health issues so it coulnd't be justified.  Well, they continued to argue about it so we just remained polite but then supported our son in remaining absent or disappearing into the school computer room when it was time for PE.  And we managed to get away with it until he left, thank goodness.  The PE teacher didn't like to be challenged though - wot a shame!

And no, PE is NOT essential.  I'd have much preferred your large and eccentric sculptures and this is exactly the sort of individual creativity and expression that a proper education system should be encouraging!  And when other pupils crowd around your desk to see your work then you know you're on to something that, with the right nurturing, could be a lifelong interest, if not career.  I just bet there'd have been an interest in your sculptures and later on a market for them - it'd be such a good niche in life!         

I really enjoyed art too, I sometimes wonder about having pursued that rather than academia. I used to love making large and eccentric sculptures. It must have been nice to be popular when you did all the portraits.

PE is hardly an essential school subject! Exercise is essential, but if one gets enough outside of school it is not needed. I barely participated anyway, but I think it was about a mile we walked to school and back every day, unless we got a lift. And back then kids used to run around outside a lot more. Maybe it is a more essential subject now and might be the only exercise many kids get. I was hopeless at team sports. I could have had the nickname Cinderella because I ran away from the ball!

It might have been useful if it had taught me how to warm up before exercise, but nothing useful like that. In fact, my school report for PE one year (which went into family legend!) was "the most effort she puts into this subject is changing in and out of her tracksuit!" Which was little enough effort once I realised the lack of school uniform meant I could basically wear my tracksuit all day! Haha.

I think the teacher was shocked how little my parents cared about that. They cared about academic subjects, but my Mum had basically skived PE for years from her school - the gym teacher asked her if she was new in her final year.

Yes the teacher can make all the difference. Most of mine were either good or OK, so I did fine but I could have done better. I cruised, not doing my homework, but could still do well in tests. That history was my worst grade because half of it was coursework projects rather than exams.

Case in point: I had two English Lit teachers for A-level: different halves of the syllabus. One of them was a lovely older lady who understood I'd be quiet in class but would get the courseworks done on

time, and she gave me very high marks and positive comments about high aptitude etc. The other was just starting her career (early twenties), very stingey with praise, and told my parents proudly at a parent-teacher thing that it amused her to single me out for awkward questions and she enjoyed seeing me go red with embarrassment. They were disgusted with that, rightly so. She didn't stay in teaching long, joined Riverdance I think - more of a calling I think, and hopefully she found fulfillment and happiness there, sparing other introverts the misery of her learning curve. 

In most other subjects, I got middling or very poor (maths, chemistry, physics, computers)  marks and 'tries hard and is always polite' kind of comments. I detested PE but always got a 'fair play, he always turns up for it and gives it a go' review for that. I did 'forget' my kit the very odd time - once a year or something, but the stress of the lie wasn't worth it.

I got that from some teachers for sure. They tended to be the younger, less wise ones who hadn't yet learned that extroversion and diligence aren't the same thing. 

It was an excellent option for me which I think only came about because the art teacher liked me and I'd impressed the whole class when I was about 13/14 and we did class portraits.  Well, everyone wanted me to draw them because I could actually get a good likeness.  So the art teacher didn't want to lose me, although he could see that I was being pushed into more academic subjects.  I think he actually had a bit of an argument with the PE teacher because she came up to me in the corridor and shouted at me about dropping an essential subject when, if I was clever enough to go to university, it would give me skills I would need.  I ignored her and got an extra O level instead (no PE qualifications at the time so I made the school look good by getting an extra pass).    

The history room sounds good too though.  Just a pity you didn't get the teacher you really wanted cos it can make all the difference.  As for the other annoying people - a perennial problem for us, I think. 

I got "doing very well, but needs to contribute more in class" from pretty much every teacher.

For me too there was a sudden switch between primary and secondary school and it became very hard to cope.  The secondary school was very rough too, as well as confusing with the constant moving between rooms and teachers, dragging bags around and getting hurried, jossled and sometimes bullied along the way.  

I did get reports stating that, "this child is good at art and creative writing" at primary school and, although this continued throughout my education, I later struggled to find a niche with those talents.  Maybe I can still pick up my art, I suppose. 

Glad you still retain your love of writing!  I think it can be a great source of joy and meaning in life. 

I am jealous you were allowed to drop PE for art! Wish I'd tried that. 

I also stayed in the art room at lunch often, unfortunately sometimes annoying people would as well and there was one time when I was just trying to read quietly and they were trying their best to distract me and seemed egged on even more by me ignoring them!

Hiding in the history room worked better, except one time. But that was only for the year I had the sympathetic history teacher. I chose history as an option hoping to get him again but ended up with a much more annoying one.

Sounds dire, again with no indication as to how they would be supporting you.  It's great that you took up writing again, but just terrible that most of the people who were supposed to be educators virtually stamped it out of you.  I suppose that you at least have the memory of that one teacher having some faith in your ability, even though you couldn't really respond at that time (entirely understandably, given the rest of what you went through).

And how on earth can "constantly looks morose" be an acceptable thing to write?  I think this kind of thing was more common in the past and it certainly chimes with what Sam was saying about the lack of confidence and the apparent "helpful" advice to "just be more confident", as if that were even possible without the right support.  Personally, I used to get a lot of , "Cheer up, it might never happen" type comments, when I clearly needed help!  How can we enjoy life when we just get blamed in situations that have consistently made us feel that way?  As it it's always our fault and, no, they don't need to change!    

Primary school was lovely for me too.  Then everyone changed in high school and I didn't have a clue what was going on.  

I also love writing!  

So basically it was all very judgemental and full of "shoulds", putting it all on you with no consideration of their role as educators.  Where on earth was the support?  :(